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Started By
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re: Fellow divorcees...did you know that your marriage was over, or were you blindsided?
Posted on 8/13/24 at 1:41 pm to Konkey Dong
Posted on 8/13/24 at 1:41 pm to Konkey Dong
quote:
I left everything in the house, won custody of my kid, she ended up a crack whore who was at one time banging some BBC in New Orleans for money
Were there no signs this person was unstable beforehand or were you just young and stupid when you married her?
1
Posted on 8/13/24 at 1:42 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Maybe I'm too trusting, but I've never once "worried" about my wife and another man, and we've been married 11 years
My wife has never told me to worry about a guy so I haven't worried
Posted on 8/13/24 at 1:42 pm to WonPercent
quote:
These threads always show a distinct difference between men and women. Do you know of a single man who left his wife and cleaned out the entire house when doing so?
My college gf’s uncle was married for 40 years, had 4 kids and 3 or 4 grandkids. She gets home one day and all his stuff is gone, Banks accounts empty. She was about to retire, and This pos left her for his secretary and wiped out their retirement/investment accounts, so she had to keep working. 40 damn years.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 1:49 pm to Jenious
Toxic marriage. Neither of us wanted to do it anymore. Both tapped out after making war and not love for too long. No kids but was blindsided when she took the dog. Wasn’t surprised she took the money, the cruiser, or half the stuff in the house. But that pup grew up on land and she took him to a small overpriced apartment in the big city. She was just cruel and heartless like that.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 1:52 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
"tired of living for everyone else, want to live for me"
nice therapist line
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:00 pm to Pettifogger
Yeah, a few of the guys saying they were blindsided are some the dumbest people on this website
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:03 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Maybe I'm too trusting, but I've never once "worried" about my wife and another man, and we've been married 11 years
It could be that your wife has strong boundaries, definitely a good thing to have.
Just my opinion, any wife who’s worth keeping should never blow off her husband’s concerns about another guy. Women (generally speaking) are more accepting of the “idea” of plutonic relationships. Men know that idea is unicorn farts, especially if you play it out over a long enough period of time.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:04 pm to Jenious
I think there are generally signs like:
You go to marriage counseling. AKA The Festivus style airing of grievances. In my observation couples going to counseling rarely resolve the issues but typically want to pretend that they put in the effort.
You aren't having sex. Intimacy is the most important part of the relationship for many husbands. If the wife withholds intimacy that's the telltale sign of reduced interest and possibly contempt for the husband (if not an affair). If the husband withholds intimacy that might imply he fears pregnancy and child support after a divorce, he has an ongoing affair, or has grown so tired of the relationship he doesn't want anything to do with her.
The way people talk about their spouse to their friends and family is very revealing too. If the marriage is a team they do not share details. The parents and the friends will always remember and never forget or forgive.
You go to marriage counseling. AKA The Festivus style airing of grievances. In my observation couples going to counseling rarely resolve the issues but typically want to pretend that they put in the effort.
You aren't having sex. Intimacy is the most important part of the relationship for many husbands. If the wife withholds intimacy that's the telltale sign of reduced interest and possibly contempt for the husband (if not an affair). If the husband withholds intimacy that might imply he fears pregnancy and child support after a divorce, he has an ongoing affair, or has grown so tired of the relationship he doesn't want anything to do with her.
The way people talk about their spouse to their friends and family is very revealing too. If the marriage is a team they do not share details. The parents and the friends will always remember and never forget or forgive.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:13 pm to Woodlands Tigah
quote:
Ceiling fans, cabinet hardware, even the light bulbs were gone!
My ex-wife did all this as well when she was forced to move out of the marital home 14 months after she filed for divorce. Even took the covers off light switches and all the drapes. Also took a massive shite in the master bathroom toilet and didn't flush.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:15 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Maybe I'm too trusting, but I've never once "worried" about my wife and another man, and we've been married 11 years
Been married 21 years. Both of us are on second marriage. I had a woman I worked with 25 years ago gave me some great advice. After my first marriage ended she told me not to take out my hatred for my first wife in future potential partner. Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given. My current wife and I have been happily married. My bitch ex wife has been through more men than a Tijuana whore the last 20 years
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:17 pm to samson73103
quote:
Also took a massive shite in the master bathroom toilet and didn't flush.
Klassy as frick.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:18 pm to samson73103
quote:
Also took a massive shite in the master bathroom toilet and didn't flush.
I’m not really a woman-basher, but nobody can deny they can be more spiteful than most men even dream of being.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:21 pm to Jenious
Should have seen it coming.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:27 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
But 75% of the blindsided stories on this site over the years involve some oil baw who met his twice divorced love-of-life at a Jason Aldean concert and promptly bought her fake boobs getting totally blindsided that the weeknight clubbing with divorcee friends she was doing led to some cheating with jody
Your words pain a vivid picture
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:32 pm to YouKnowImRight
This thread is depressing my girl parents are immigrants who don’t get divorced so hopefully works out for me
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:37 pm to Ricardo
quote:
quote:
Came home and found a note on the door "tired of living for everyone else, want to live for me".
Playing, Devil's Advocate. If a person spends their entire life doing things to make everyone else happy, and their needs aren't being met - they will become cold and distant.
I'm gonna guess that she may have perceived that was what she was doing, but nobody really does that, and the perception that one is doing such is a special sort of narcissism.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:37 pm to Lsupimp
I could tell things had changed, but I was pretty lost when it came to how to deal with it. I kept trying to save the marriage because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. When the truth came out, I knew it was over, it had to be. Still, I told her that I was going to think about it for one week because it was a big decision. Nothing changed over that week and I signed the papers a week and a day later. Relief was what I felt, that the ordeal was over.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:39 pm to RaoulDuke504
quote:
This thread is depressing my girl parents are immigrants who don’t get divorced so hopefully works out for me
If they don't get divorced, the odds are in your favor.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:39 pm to Jenious
I knew my marriage wouldn't last after the first 6 months. Finding out she was cheating was the end of it. I always joke that if you ask her what caused our divorce that she will tell you money problems (I make about 125k myself). If you ask me why our divorce ended, I will tell you it was another man fricking her.
I look back and my marriage sucked from the beginning. She is a miserable person to be around in general. Ive really worked on forgiveness since the divorce and I really don't think im mad about any of it anymore except that divorce is so lopsided for women. I ended up selling her my house that I bought before the marriage because it was cheaper than what the lawyer told me she would get easily if it went to court and my lawyer even told me the judge would get mad if I brought up the affair because "everyone cheats now".
I look back and my marriage sucked from the beginning. She is a miserable person to be around in general. Ive really worked on forgiveness since the divorce and I really don't think im mad about any of it anymore except that divorce is so lopsided for women. I ended up selling her my house that I bought before the marriage because it was cheaper than what the lawyer told me she would get easily if it went to court and my lawyer even told me the judge would get mad if I brought up the affair because "everyone cheats now".
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:40 pm to Dadren
quote:
It could be that your wife has strong boundaries, definitely a good thing to have.
Just my opinion, any wife who’s worth keeping should never blow off her husband’s concerns about another guy. Women (generally speaking) are more accepting of the “idea” of plutonic relationships. Men know that idea is unicorn farts, especially if you play it out over a long enough period of time.
Choose wisely mates. The single most important decision of your life. Dont belive me frick it up.
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