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re: Ex teaching daughter to call the step-dad “dad”. Thoughts?
Posted on 7/27/26 at 10:19 am to Trough Urinal
Posted on 7/27/26 at 10:19 am to Trough Urinal
Get the step dad to adopt so you are off the hook on child support and then move on
Posted on 7/27/26 at 10:23 am to Trough Urinal
My thoughts could change considerably if I knew who-dumped-who.
Otherwise I would want what's best for the child.
Otherwise I would want what's best for the child.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 10:32 am to Trough Urinal
I called my stepmother mom. She married my dad when I was 6. Thing is, my dad got custody because my mother ran off and married another man and didn’t want us.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 11:17 am to Trough Urinal
As a stepdad to a 14 year old daughter (she was 4 when me and mom got together) with a POS dad, I have NEVER allowed her to call me Dad. It’s a respect thing amongst men. Now I am her sole provider as her dad prioritizes work over here (hint hint). I noticed the other day she has me as Dad in her phone contacts but that’s on her. I’ve never pushed it or allowed my wife to push it
Make time for your kid or she will make the decision for you!
Make time for your kid or she will make the decision for you!
Posted on 7/27/26 at 11:20 am to WinnaSez
quote:
EDIT not trying to be an arsehole
you 100% are trying to be an a-holePosted on 7/27/26 at 11:26 am to Cosmo
quote:
At the end of the day, I’m still seeing her once a week and every other weekend
Holy shite I know of situations where complete psychopaths have better deals than that.
If it were me I’d push for a good bit more or the dad thing may stick out of simple routine and exposure.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 12:23 pm to Trough Urinal
Demand a DNA test and when she balks at it give her this as your reasoning and you just want to be sure you’re her dad.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 12:28 pm to St Augustine
This arrangement is very common in Louisiana. I know a guy that worked remote, Paid a lot in child support and still had this same schedule. Now that his son is older it is different.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 12:29 pm to Cycledude
Yes, that’s pretty cold, and stupid on her part. If she wants what’s best for her daughter she should want you to be involved in your daughter’s life and get along well. There’s room for a stepdad too. He should be called pop pop or something like that.
My stepdaughter just calls me by name. It's worked fine for me for 10 years. Her biological father is a bum and a half, but that's still her dad and I respect that.
My stepdaughter just calls me by name. It's worked fine for me for 10 years. Her biological father is a bum and a half, but that's still her dad and I respect that.
This post was edited on 7/27/26 at 12:31 pm
Posted on 7/27/26 at 12:39 pm to Trough Urinal
I dated a guy with kids. One of the baby mamas (trashy i know) didn’t want to do “mom” things. She only wanted to see the kids a few times a week when it was convenient, and not even for the whole day/night. So i “stepped up” and did things like school pickup, homework help, doctor’s appointments. Taught both her kids how to drive. One of the kids mostly even stayed the night at my house on her custody days bc she didn’t want them and the dad worked nights.
They never called me “mom” and i didn’t encourage it. But i guess she heard it was me doing those things and not her ex because she waged a campaign against me to the dad’s family (who i hoped would be my in-laws one day) and to the kids. The one kid who i was closest to stopped speaking to me. She had them convinced i was with their dad for his money while the truth was i am better off financially on my own.
My point is that if this guy is helping care for your daughter, thank him and respect him. I doubt his goal is to steal her from you. You can respectfully ask that the child call him something else. You should try to get more custody or spend more time with your daughter. The stepdad would probably appreciate some time alone with his wife.
They never called me “mom” and i didn’t encourage it. But i guess she heard it was me doing those things and not her ex because she waged a campaign against me to the dad’s family (who i hoped would be my in-laws one day) and to the kids. The one kid who i was closest to stopped speaking to me. She had them convinced i was with their dad for his money while the truth was i am better off financially on my own.
My point is that if this guy is helping care for your daughter, thank him and respect him. I doubt his goal is to steal her from you. You can respectfully ask that the child call him something else. You should try to get more custody or spend more time with your daughter. The stepdad would probably appreciate some time alone with his wife.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 1:15 pm to Trough Urinal
Damn man, that sucks. However, i think there is more to this story that either OP is telling us or doesnt know themselves. My ex and i absolutely hate each other, like wouldnt piss on the other if they were on fire type of hate, and neither of us would do something like that. Honestly, there are two scenarios here; a) that aint your kid and mom is trying to clean up on the back end or b) the other guy is doing all of the heavy lifting and you have been demoted in the moms eyes from dad to bio father.
If (a) is even a possibility then get a paternity test and walk away, if its (b) then either sack up and get more involved or watch another man raise your kid and call them dad. This really does sound like a you problem though
If (a) is even a possibility then get a paternity test and walk away, if its (b) then either sack up and get more involved or watch another man raise your kid and call them dad. This really does sound like a you problem though
Posted on 7/27/26 at 1:24 pm to Trough Urinal
quote:
Anybody dealt with this type of fun?
Not as the parent but as the child. Mom and dad divorced when I was 4. Mom remarried when I was 12. My stepfather was happy for us to call him by his first name without it being considered disrespectful, but we minded him and said "yes sir" and "no sir". Never was a question who dad was.
Now 12 is a good deal older than 3. My siblings and I would not have been comfortable calling my stepfather dad at that age. It's not hard for me to imagine your little one calling the stepfather "dad" and thinking nothing of it considering she shouldn't be expected to really know better or go against her mom. In my opinion, your ex needs to respect the fact that you are still involved in your daughter's life and respect the fact that you are still your daughter's daddy. I don't think a first name basis is a bad idea, or, if she has to have something, daddy *first name* for the stepfather. Might be a good idea to come up with suggestions for your ex.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 1:34 pm to Afrojedi
quote:
However, i think there is more to this story that either OP is telling us or doesnt know themselves.
There really isn’t. She came from a home with a step dad that she called dad. She used that as an example, but her own dad didn’t come into the picture until later. I chose someone that turned out to be a narcissistic witch. She’s insulting my daughter’s intelligence by suggesting she will be confused to associate stepdad with another name.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 1:35 pm to Rick9Plus
quote:
My point is that if this guy is helping care for your daughter, thank him and respect him. I doubt his goal is to steal her from you.
I’ve accepted that he is stepdad, no issues there with him fulfilling that role. But my ex is the one allowing this to go unchecked.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 1:36 pm to Trough Urinal
quote:The longer this goes on, the less of an argument you're gonna have for more custody.
I can take her back to court on that in due time. I don’t think I have the time available to successfully have 50-50. Work keeps me busy.
Posted on 7/27/26 at 3:12 pm to Trough Urinal
Why tf do you only get to see her once per week and every other weekend?
Posted on 7/27/26 at 3:41 pm to Trough Urinal
It’s OK. Just make her call you “real dad”
Posted on 7/27/26 at 3:46 pm to Trough Urinal
I feel bad for you. But why on Earth did you post this here? Did you want to just get electronically beaten up?
Posted on 7/27/26 at 3:48 pm to Trough Urinal
quote:
Work keeps me busy.
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