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Message
Did you select your college or did your parents?
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:07 pm
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:07 pm
Curious. We're sort of at a crossroads with our daughter. She has scholarship offers from a couple of major universities that are out-of-state, but not too far away. In both cases, the curriculum is well regarded in her major and the scholarship offers cut the costs significantly. One is University of Arkansas and the other is University of Oklahoma. She just missed on qualifications to enter UT-Austin, basically screwing that up in her freshman year of high school.
However, she suddenly decided she wants to go to a local university, the University of North Texas, where she hasn't applied for scholarships. This came about suddenly as she never had any interest in it before. The university is only 20 minutes away from where we live.
We think her boyfriend, who is a junior, has something to do with it. Or it could just be fear of leaving home. It's definitely not because it's a better school. Either way, her mom and I believe she'll receive a higher quality education with better opportunities coming out of college by going to Oklahoma instead of North Texas.
Should we leave this to her decision or put our foot down. Hate to pull rank, but we don't believe she's thinking this through rationally. Or are we the ones not thinking it through rationally?
Sorry. No pics.
However, she suddenly decided she wants to go to a local university, the University of North Texas, where she hasn't applied for scholarships. This came about suddenly as she never had any interest in it before. The university is only 20 minutes away from where we live.
We think her boyfriend, who is a junior, has something to do with it. Or it could just be fear of leaving home. It's definitely not because it's a better school. Either way, her mom and I believe she'll receive a higher quality education with better opportunities coming out of college by going to Oklahoma instead of North Texas.
Should we leave this to her decision or put our foot down. Hate to pull rank, but we don't believe she's thinking this through rationally. Or are we the ones not thinking it through rationally?
Sorry. No pics.
44
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:08 pm to HubbaBubba
I chose LSU on my own. Unless she’s going into a very specific field, she’s going to get, for the most part, the same education anywhere.
This post was edited on 5/30/19 at 5:12 pm
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:09 pm to HubbaBubba
Liberal arts?
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:11 pm to HubbaBubba
UNT is still a good school.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:11 pm to HubbaBubba
Let me make this easy for you.
Are you paying for any of her college expenses?
Yes - you tell her where to go.
No - she can make her own decisions if she chooses.
Are you paying for any of her college expenses?
Yes - you tell her where to go.
No - she can make her own decisions if she chooses.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:11 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
I chose LSU on my own.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:11 pm to Philzilla2k
I didn't select my college it selected me.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:11 pm to HubbaBubba
Just keep talking to her, man. If she is doing it for a dude, that’s not smart. Ultimately, you want her happy where she is. If that is at a community college, so be it. Just be there for her. Her decision.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:12 pm to HubbaBubba
quote:
We think her boyfriend, who is a junior, has something to do with it.
quote:
put our foot down.
This is an easy decision. If you are paying for it, it’s your decision. Also, little dickweed boyfriend needs to go.
This post was edited on 5/30/19 at 5:13 pm
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:12 pm to jbgleason
quote:
Let me make this easy for you.
Are you paying for any of her college expenses?
Yes - you tell her where to go.
No - she can make her own decisions if she chooses
What a shitty way to raise your kid.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:14 pm to HubbaBubba
i did but my parents had a lot of influence b/c they didn't have much money to help me go
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:14 pm to HubbaBubba
I dicked off in HS and we didn't have tops back then. My dad said he'd pay my tuition and books at LSU but not for me a place to live 10 miles from home. I always wanted to go to LSU anyway but that certainly made it an easy choice 
This post was edited on 5/30/19 at 5:24 pm
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:14 pm to HubbaBubba
quote:
We think her boyfriend, who is a junior, has something to do with it. Or it could just be fear of leaving home.
Almost certainly.
I picked. My dad actually didn't want me to go to LSU.
Not having kids myself, it's a hard situation to judge. I'd try reasoning with her. Let her know that she can come home after the first year if she just really doesn't like it. Assuming you're in the Dallas area, Norman is only a couple of hours away. Fayetteville is only about 5.
I made a 5 hour drive home about once a month or so during college. It's pretty manageable if she gets homesick.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:15 pm to HubbaBubba
I wanted to go to Harvard. My a-hole parents insisted on Delgado.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:15 pm to Philzilla2k
Public diplomacy and foreign affairs with an eye towards a career in the state department or in trade negotiations.
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:15 pm to HubbaBubba
She probably won’t understand because she’s young and people at that age are stubborn, but you need to just let her know that she shouldn’t make a decision of where to go to school based on a guy or on friends and stuff. Let her go wherever she wants to go but fill her head with the idea that she needs to choose a school to go to based on what she needs not on what she wants
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:16 pm to HubbaBubba
quote:You give us this as one of the possibilities.
University of Arkansas
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:16 pm to HubbaBubba
Arrange an Escort for the boyfriend. Make sure someone takes pics and they get into the hands of your daughter. Congratulations she is now going to Oklahoma!
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:17 pm to sta4ever
quote:
but you need to just let her know that she shouldn’t make a decision of where to go to school based on a guy or on friends and stuff. Let her go wherever she wants to go but fill her head with the idea that she needs to choose a school to go to based on what she needs not on what she wants
Get out with this reasonable solution. You're supposed to just tell her "I'm paying the bills so you listen to me."
Posted on 5/30/19 at 5:18 pm to HubbaBubba
quote:she probably should aim higher than Oklahoma, much less UNT
Public diplomacy and foreign affairs with an eye towards a career in the state department or in trade negotiations.
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