re: Being told constantly "it's time to have kids.."

Worse is being told it's time to have another one. Like frick you, I just paid off the first one.

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ETA: I just don't see why someone would marry someone that doesn't share the same view on having kids. Seems like that needs to be one of the things you both are on the same page for. Just seems like you are setting yourself up for HUGE marital problems later on.

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I know a couple right now that just announced --days before Christmas--in my family they are divorcing. They tried for years to get pregnant, went through a lot, had a miscarriage, then got pregnant. The baby is 3 and now the husband is done with the marriage; and said he never wanted kids and never wanted to get married. I would almost like to tell the story to see if I am missing something it is so bizarre.

Adoption definitely isn't for everyone. If we weren't able to have a baby I honestly don't think we would have went the adoption route.

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you are making it sound like the only way to not be miserable later in life is that you have to be a parent. Whether that is having a child naturally or by adopting one.

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When have I ever fricking said that?

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BTW, I have three already so I won’t die alone and forgotten on Christmas like some kind of doorstop in the Old Folks Home like you probably are.

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So you think. This isn't guaranteed just because you have 3 kids. Your kids could die before you get old. Or they could move away and dump you in a nursing home and visit once a year.


ETA: If you don't like the topic...you could always just ignore the thread and not reply you know.

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So you think. This isn't guaranteed just because you have 3 kids. Your kids could die before you get old. Or they could move away and dump you in a nursing home and visit once a year.

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It’s very possible. Who knows.

Still it’s pretty unlikely. I’m a good dad. My kids love me and shite is going pretty great. I might get hit by a meteor tomorrow too but my odds of having some little ones bouncing on my knee get better with every little nugget we pump out.

Folks that don’t wanna have them - it’s fine. I have zero problem with it. My brother and sister in law decided long ago it wasn’t for them. It bothers me none. But as the vapid hole in their lives grow, there isn’t gonna be a whole lot I can do for them. That’s their problem. Not mine.

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It is why I've been very transparent about my fertility issues. I no longer hear the "so when are you two finally gonna have a kid" from my family and friends. I hated how taboo some make the topic to be. It made me feel like it was something I had to be ashamed of and just made me more upset and depressed about it. For me...being open about it has honestly helped me better deal with it.

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It’s something we’ve dwelled over a lot nurse. Our close friends knew the issues we had before my daughter. But my wife’s parents are... well... difficult. She didn’t want a bunch of medical opinions by google doctors constantly calling her to give her advice. I didn’t blame her. We were so lucky to have a healthy baby, and the problems have only gotten worse. She’s had a lot of problems this year, but we told people when we had the magnitude of problems specifically because neither of us could’ve handled having that confrontation.

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lsunurse

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Why does that have to be the case for them just because they don't have kids? You don't have to be a parent to have a fulfilling life.

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Choosing not to have kids and not being able to have kids is completely different. You're being very defensive about a completely different topic. And for the record, I don't care either way, but I don't really see why I would ever want to get married if I knew both parties didn't want kids going into it. Brings in a lot of unnecessary complications.

If you don't have kids you get people constantly telling you to have kids. If you have 1 or 2 you may have people asking you if you are ever going to have more? If you have 6, like I do, and you go to a store you hear "Boy you have your hands full" or "Wow are you stocking up with your cart so full?"

Point is, no matter what your situation is some idiot, family or random dumb arse, is going to tell you something stupid and it is usually the same thing you have heard 1000 times over and over....people are dumb and annoying.