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re: Being told constantly "it's time to have kids.."

Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:53 pm to
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124070 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:53 pm to
quote:

Because we find a woman who also doesn't want kids? Fiance is quite clear she doesn't want kids. Neither do I.


But you see...you think you’ll still feel that way when you get old and look back on your life and you’ll have nothing going into the future?


No one to look after you in your twilight years. No legacy. No memories of watching your little ones grow up.

No grandchildren to pass things down to.

When you die, your line will die with you.

That doesn’t bother you?


And women that say they definitely don’t want kids are deluded and most all will change their mind at some point, often too late.

It’s in their biology.

It’s literally their core reason for being.
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
52964 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:53 pm to
I'm sure your wife will have kids. That doesn't mean you will. Beta
Posted by Oilfieldbiology
Member since Nov 2016
37486 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:57 pm to
Dear Facebook
Posted by TigerBait2008
Boulder,CO
Member since Jun 2008
32403 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:59 pm to
I'm sure your parents regret it every day.
Posted by johnnyrocket
Ghetto once known as Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2013
9790 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:13 pm to
It just happened I don’t think I planned to have kids.
The kids just showed up one day and started sucking up all my food, money, and free time.
Posted by frankenfish
Crofton, MD
Member since Feb 2008
837 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:19 pm to
quote:

It's your duty to have children.


I don't think it's a conscious thought, but I can see someone, especially a close family member, looking at it like this:

- Your great-great-great grandparents came here with no money and scratched and clawed to make a better life for our family. Your great-grandfather survived the depression and fought in WWII to better this family. Your grandfather and father have worked hard and sacrificed to get you to where you are today. So your choosing not to have kids, not to extend the family line, makes all of everyone else's sacrifices for nothing. You are benefiting from all of their sacrifices and making none of your own to continue the family legacy. So in this light it can be seen as selfish and not doing your "duty" to have kids.

- Another thought parents may have is, "was your childhood so terrible/were we really such bad parents that you don't want kids of your own?" They may see it as an indictment of themselves...

- And as a taxpayer I'm assuming you are a productive member of society who would raise kids who would be productive members of society. Your not having those just makes the ratio of productive to non-productive worse. In a free society you do have the choice but can you see how that choice can be seen as selfish? We are quick to talk about our rights in this country but hesitant to talk about our responsibilities. I'm not judging, just trying to voice what could be motivating others with another opinion...
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:22 pm to
They’re just looking out for you. Try not to take it the wrong way and get triggered by it.

Most people, at some point in their lives, are going to want kids. You and your wife might be the exception, but the problem is that you won’t know that until you’re well past child-bearing age.
Posted by AU4real35
Member since Jan 2014
16065 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:23 pm to
This may sound dumb, but most of these people don't care if you have kids or will ever have kids. A lot of times it's just an icebreaking topic that gets conversation started.
Posted by StealthCalais11
Lurker since 2007
Member since Aug 2011
12449 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:24 pm to
quote:

It's your duty to have children.


I don't owe you people shite
Posted by cwill
Member since Jan 2005
54752 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:32 pm to
quote:

maybe not ever


Your wife is sub-30...post 30 the kids are on their way, kids are on their way and it's okay, everything is okay.
This post was edited on 12/26/17 at 8:16 pm
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
20096 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:33 pm to
quote:

When you die, your line will die with you. That doesn’t bother you?

No. I am not that delusional to think I am such an amazing gift to the world which needs to continue
Posted by rich4pres
Knoxville
Member since Dec 2016
9761 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:36 pm to
Yeah, we heard that for years. Now that she is pregnant we are already being asked when are we gonna have a second one.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
19262 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:50 pm to
I got it for years about getting married, now my mom can't stand my wife.

You'll never win
Posted by Chuker
St George, Louisiana
Member since Nov 2015
7544 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:55 pm to
just wait until to cave to the pressure and your kid is born severely disabled and you and your wife spend the rest of you life changing diapers for your wheel-chair bound son. Say goodbye to any sort of life.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:56 pm to
quote:

you get old and look back on your life and you’ll have nothing going into the future?



quote:

No one to look after you in your twilight years. No legacy. No memories of watching your little ones grow up.

No grandchildren to pass things down to.

When you die, your line will die with you.


So those that can't have children are just doomed to a miserable existence? Seriously people who say shite like this need to kindly SHUT THE frick UP and just worry about their own lives.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:58 pm to
quote:

Getting married in next few months.


quote:

She wants 1. I want none.


You do realize there is no compromise on the kid issue? You either want them or you don't. I hope you aren't marrying her thinking she will change her mind.
This post was edited on 12/26/17 at 7:01 pm
Posted by ThatMakesSense
Fort Lauderdale
Member since Aug 2015
14792 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:04 pm to
quote:

You do realize there is no compromise on the kid issue? 


What if both parties want one, then it's found to be multiples?
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:06 pm to
quote:

What if both parties want one, then it's found to be multiples?




Well that is the chance you take. Roll of the dice. Consider it a BOGO pregnancy.

If you have to do any fertility treatments multiples is always a risk.



ETA: I just don't see why someone would marry someone that doesn't share the same view on having kids. Seems like that needs to be one of the things you both are on the same page for. Just seems like you are setting yourself up for HUGE marital problems later on.
This post was edited on 12/26/17 at 7:08 pm
Posted by cajunangelle
Member since Oct 2012
146682 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:08 pm to
quote:

I'm sure having kids is so fulfilling and omgzzz you don't understand that kind of love until you have a child
It is, no joke.

and your parents want to be grandparents.
Posted by tigerbacon
Arkansas
Member since Aug 2010
3696 posts
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:11 pm to
Been married 13 years and no kids. Wife and I have no desire for kids. Parents still pressure every time I see them. No thank you. I love traveling, buying whatever I want. She drives a 2 door Jeep Wrangler and I drive a sports car. Love the fact we only need two door cars. And not having kids enable us to save enough to pay for people to take care of us in the twilight years.
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