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Started By
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re: Being told constantly "it's time to have kids.."
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:53 pm to Centinel
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:53 pm to Centinel
quote:
Because we find a woman who also doesn't want kids? Fiance is quite clear she doesn't want kids. Neither do I.
But you see...you think you’ll still feel that way when you get old and look back on your life and you’ll have nothing going into the future?
No one to look after you in your twilight years. No legacy. No memories of watching your little ones grow up.
No grandchildren to pass things down to.
When you die, your line will die with you.
That doesn’t bother you?
And women that say they definitely don’t want kids are deluded and most all will change their mind at some point, often too late.
It’s in their biology.
It’s literally their core reason for being.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:53 pm to CoeJ
I'm sure your wife will have kids. That doesn't mean you will. Beta
Posted on 12/26/17 at 5:59 pm to theunknownknight
I'm sure your parents regret it every day.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:13 pm to CoeJ
It just happened I don’t think I planned to have kids.
The kids just showed up one day and started sucking up all my food, money, and free time.
The kids just showed up one day and started sucking up all my food, money, and free time.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:19 pm to TigerBait2008
quote:
It's your duty to have children.
I don't think it's a conscious thought, but I can see someone, especially a close family member, looking at it like this:
- Your great-great-great grandparents came here with no money and scratched and clawed to make a better life for our family. Your great-grandfather survived the depression and fought in WWII to better this family. Your grandfather and father have worked hard and sacrificed to get you to where you are today. So your choosing not to have kids, not to extend the family line, makes all of everyone else's sacrifices for nothing. You are benefiting from all of their sacrifices and making none of your own to continue the family legacy. So in this light it can be seen as selfish and not doing your "duty" to have kids.
- Another thought parents may have is, "was your childhood so terrible/were we really such bad parents that you don't want kids of your own?" They may see it as an indictment of themselves...
- And as a taxpayer I'm assuming you are a productive member of society who would raise kids who would be productive members of society. Your not having those just makes the ratio of productive to non-productive worse. In a free society you do have the choice but can you see how that choice can be seen as selfish? We are quick to talk about our rights in this country but hesitant to talk about our responsibilities. I'm not judging, just trying to voice what could be motivating others with another opinion...
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:22 pm to CoeJ
They’re just looking out for you. Try not to take it the wrong way and get triggered by it.
Most people, at some point in their lives, are going to want kids. You and your wife might be the exception, but the problem is that you won’t know that until you’re well past child-bearing age.
Most people, at some point in their lives, are going to want kids. You and your wife might be the exception, but the problem is that you won’t know that until you’re well past child-bearing age.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:23 pm to CoeJ
This may sound dumb, but most of these people don't care if you have kids or will ever have kids. A lot of times it's just an icebreaking topic that gets conversation started.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:24 pm to LSUTigersVCURams
quote:
It's your duty to have children.
I don't owe you people shite
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:32 pm to CoeJ
quote:
maybe not ever
Your wife is sub-30...post 30 the kids are on their way, kids are on their way and it's okay, everything is okay.
This post was edited on 12/26/17 at 8:16 pm
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:33 pm to fr33manator
quote:
When you die, your line will die with you. That doesn’t bother you?
No. I am not that delusional to think I am such an amazing gift to the world which needs to continue
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:36 pm to CoeJ
Yeah, we heard that for years. Now that she is pregnant we are already being asked when are we gonna have a second one.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:50 pm to CoeJ
I got it for years about getting married, now my mom can't stand my wife.
You'll never win
You'll never win
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:55 pm to CoeJ
just wait until to cave to the pressure and your kid is born severely disabled and you and your wife spend the rest of you life changing diapers for your wheel-chair bound son. Say goodbye to any sort of life.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:56 pm to fr33manator
quote:
you get old and look back on your life and you’ll have nothing going into the future?
quote:
No one to look after you in your twilight years. No legacy. No memories of watching your little ones grow up.
No grandchildren to pass things down to.
When you die, your line will die with you.
So those that can't have children are just doomed to a miserable existence? Seriously people who say shite like this need to kindly SHUT THE frick UP and just worry about their own lives.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 6:58 pm to YoungManOldMan
quote:
Getting married in next few months.
quote:
She wants 1. I want none.
You do realize there is no compromise on the kid issue? You either want them or you don't. I hope you aren't marrying her thinking she will change her mind.
This post was edited on 12/26/17 at 7:01 pm
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:04 pm to lsunurse
quote:
You do realize there is no compromise on the kid issue?
What if both parties want one, then it's found to be multiples?
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:06 pm to ThatMakesSense
quote:
What if both parties want one, then it's found to be multiples?
Well that is the chance you take. Roll of the dice. Consider it a BOGO pregnancy.
If you have to do any fertility treatments multiples is always a risk.
ETA: I just don't see why someone would marry someone that doesn't share the same view on having kids. Seems like that needs to be one of the things you both are on the same page for. Just seems like you are setting yourself up for HUGE marital problems later on.
This post was edited on 12/26/17 at 7:08 pm
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:08 pm to CoeJ
quote:It is, no joke.
I'm sure having kids is so fulfilling and omgzzz you don't understand that kind of love until you have a child
and your parents want to be grandparents.
Posted on 12/26/17 at 7:11 pm to ThatMakesSense
Been married 13 years and no kids. Wife and I have no desire for kids. Parents still pressure every time I see them. No thank you. I love traveling, buying whatever I want. She drives a 2 door Jeep Wrangler and I drive a sports car. Love the fact we only need two door cars. And not having kids enable us to save enough to pay for people to take care of us in the twilight years.
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