re: Anyone had a spouse go through chemo?

I went though chemo I can speak from that side of it

My wife had her last treatment today. She was doing TCHP. I am sorry you are having to go through it. I don't wish it on my worst enemy.

I don't want to scare you, but the medicine in our experience lives up to the hype.

What to expect: Normally the 2nd and 3rd day post treatment was the worst of it. each treatment. Mostly nausea fatigue, bowels, etc.. then gets less through day 7, then it was relatively normal until the next treatment and it repeats until the last treatment. She would get treatment on Thursday and would feel Ok on Friday, but was pretty miserable all weekend. She would start feeling better on Monday and was feeling somewhat back to normal on Thursday.I was able to work normally, the weekend after treatment was the time she needed someone the most.

The first infusion felt like it was the worst, but I think it was just because we really did not have any idea what to expect. You have to learn how to manage the side effects, make sure she drinks plenty of fluid/ electrolytes, we ended up in ER for severe dehydration. I think the subsequent treatments may feel worse, but you learn better to manage the side effects and they felt more manageable.

To be honest, the immediate side effects were not what made our experience so bad, it was all the other things that happened to us as a result of the compromised immunity. We had 2 infected port sites, incredibly painful inflammatory responses in the back and knee that immobilized her. We had several hospital stays for infections, currently still battling an infection in the knee that has limited her to a walker and she is only 38. I was aware of the side effects of chemo, but was not expecting all the other things that we would be experiencing as a result of the compromised immunity. I think we had a really bad experience to be honest, and I don't think as many people experience what my wife did, but I wanted to at least give you an idea, I wish I knew so I was more prepared for what could be.

Happy to answer any questions if you want to DM me. Godspeed my friend.

Thanks to all of you for the encouraging words. Without going into too much detail, she had a tumor removed 5 months ago but it has now metastasized. Thankfully appears limited in area.

I can tell you that had I chosen chemo instead of surgery, IIRC it would have been 3 three-week cycles where I was in the clinic for 6 hours the first day (Monday), then 4 hours T-F. Then the following week 4 hours every week day, then the same the third week. Then the cycle repeats itself. For a total of 9 weeks of treatment.

I asked my doc about people working during treatment and he said most of his patients worked on their laptops at the clinic, and that for most of them they handled the chemo okay until that last cycle and the last week or two is when it really took the most toll on their bodies.

I'm not sure I would want to actively work while I am receiving chemo, but also sitting there for almost a whole work day sounded pretty miserable too.

As for your wife, I'm sure you'll be able to tell when she's handling it and when she needs your help. And I'd just plan on being there for support as much as possible unless she specifically says otherwise. I know my wife would want to be there with me, but I have a feeling after that first week or even couple of days, I'd likely have told her that she didn't need to waste her days sitting there with me.

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What is the normal course? How long does the misery from chemo last? Just trying to prepare. TIA.

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I am no expert but I talked to my SIL when she was going through it. Her first regimin was conventional Chemo that killed all fast growing cells and was pretty hard. She said the first two treatments were warmups for the third which they called the Red Devil. I think she had 5-6 treatments in that course. It was by far the worst one she ever took.

She wound up in some clinical trials several yrs later when her cancer came back. The newer stuff was not near as bad, I assume because it was more targeted.

Oops, forgot to say, Prayers for your wife and you too as caregiver. Hoping for the best.

all right I passed on comment twice but.......my wife did surgery, chemo, radiation, the full treatment 25 years ago. I watched the fall of the twin towers in the surgical waiting room in Victoria Texas. In her case it worked, still cancer free at 78.

It a tough job supporting her through the experience. You personally must help the best you can. nothing more nothing less. She is going to feel like crap for a year. Mental attitude is best supported by allowing her to have the occasional pity party. You must be a non obnoxious cheer leader, looking for ways to give an uplifting day. After weekly treatment for breast cancer, on the way home we would stop at a Hooters restaurant for lunch, cause the wait staff was young and lively, wings good and beer very cold. We took long trips to Colorado between treatments. Co-pay for a single drug covered by insurance was 500 bucks. Person I was standing with said you should have had insurance. I told her I did, total bill for that one drug was 3000.

Gonna be tough on both of you, you are not allowed a pity party

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Sister in law

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I know I have at least one brother in law who posts here, probably two.

Yep, High grade large B cell triple hit NHL. I would be so exhausted by the time a new round started. The only time I slept well was when we were in the hospital, because someone else was watching over him, too. Lol his room was usually near the heli-pad, and he would always joke that I was landing. Definitely stayed in helicopter-mode.

y'all go to md anderson recently?

(no message)

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all right I passed on comment twice but.......my wife did surgery, chemo, radiation, the full treatment 25 years ago. I watched the fall of the twin towers in the surgical waiting room in Victoria Texas. In her case it worked, still cancer free at 78.

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Great for her! My wife was much more fortunate with her breast cancer. She was very religious about her mamograms and they caught hers at Stage 1. She avoided Chemo but had one breast removed. She/we went through this also during the 9/11 incident although ours played out more into Oct/Nov. She turned 70 this yr.