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re: Anyone else not on speaking terms with a parent?
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:35 am to DMagic
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:35 am to DMagic
quote:
I minimize contact with my mom because she is a certified loon who has undiagnosed BPD because “she doesn’t need help”
I have a mother in law like this. Husband divorced her a couple years ago.
A recent facebook post she made was a meme basically thanking all the addicts and people who are strong enough to go to treatment because it helps people like her that wont go to treatment.
Shes beyond gone in my eyes.
0
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:36 am to NatalbanyTigerFan
My dad asked me to take care of his girlfriend if anything were to happen to him. This was after four wives (I think). We went a couple of years without talking after an argument about that.
He died about two years ago while and was in a relationship with a different woman at the time.
We reconciled prior to his death, somewhat. But he had gone so far off the rails that I really didn't recognize him as the man who raised me.
He died about two years ago while and was in a relationship with a different woman at the time.
We reconciled prior to his death, somewhat. But he had gone so far off the rails that I really didn't recognize him as the man who raised me.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:41 am to NatalbanyTigerFan
getting very close with my father. He was minimally present during my childhood which I mainly came to terms with...until I became a father. That has dredged up some complicated feelings to say the least so I find my tolerance for his normal bullshite is lower.
Recently he started becoming hell bent on phone calls when he never cared literally my entire life. Now he will call in the middle of a day with my 2 year old son who obviously does not like when I take attention off him to talk on the phone...I work my arse off all week so I'm not going to do that to chit chat with a dude who wasn't interested in talking to me for years so I generally ignore the call and text back...I make efforts to text him pictures of his grandson which usually go ignored or a one word response. I will try to call him back and get sent to voicemail.... then I'll get another call again when I'm spending time with my family and get a snarky voicemail... "guess you don't have time for me" "got tired of waiting for a call back" etc.
shite has me boiling...I think in part because again..complicated feelings and part because I know it's not out of any desire to actually communicate... its just his current thing he's doing when it's a good time for him and he's been an executive long enough he's used to just bullying people.
Anyway...that felt good to rant out...but I'm pretty close to saying talk when I have time, take your retired arse off the golf course and come visit or get fricked
Recently he started becoming hell bent on phone calls when he never cared literally my entire life. Now he will call in the middle of a day with my 2 year old son who obviously does not like when I take attention off him to talk on the phone...I work my arse off all week so I'm not going to do that to chit chat with a dude who wasn't interested in talking to me for years so I generally ignore the call and text back...I make efforts to text him pictures of his grandson which usually go ignored or a one word response. I will try to call him back and get sent to voicemail.... then I'll get another call again when I'm spending time with my family and get a snarky voicemail... "guess you don't have time for me" "got tired of waiting for a call back" etc.
shite has me boiling...I think in part because again..complicated feelings and part because I know it's not out of any desire to actually communicate... its just his current thing he's doing when it's a good time for him and he's been an executive long enough he's used to just bullying people.
Anyway...that felt good to rant out...but I'm pretty close to saying talk when I have time, take your retired arse off the golf course and come visit or get fricked
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:41 am to GrammarKnotsi
quote:
Drives six hours to see friends within an hour of our home, complains that i wont put three kids in the car and make that trip myself to see her..
My mom did something similar. When I was stationed in Thailand, my Ex-wife, step daughter and I flew from Bangkok to Shreveport. My Mom lived in Abilene Texas. Knowing we were only going to be in the country for 3 weeks to see my family and friends in La and my Ex’s family and friends in Florida. My Mom refused to drive to come see us in La. She wanted us to drive to Texas to see her.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:53 am to NatalbanyTigerFan
Physically abusive father, haven't spoken/seen since 1983. I'm good with the status quo.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 11:56 am to Slickback
quote:
I’ve been blessed, but can’t imagine it any other way and am always surprised at the trivial shite some people will let ruin a relationship.
It’s very often not trivial. You have no idea the absolute relief that comes from finally removing a toxic person from your life, even if that person is your mother or father.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:02 pm to NatalbanyTigerFan
Mom - I am not a phone person, so we text very frequently and typically have lunch once a week. She aggravates me because she needs to be involved in everything and know what everyone in the family is doing to the point of annoyance, but that's just how she is :)
Dad - My dad, brother and I own a company together and for the past 5 years or so he has been 95% out of it. He has a very old school method of management so we butt heads on how the company should be ran. He has a sense of entitlement and treats people as such, even making remarks when he does come in to people that "you don't know who I am ?!?!". Whenever he calls me, it's only to talk business. He has made several remarks to my wife that are very uncalled for, he cannot control his temper and whenever we're all together something is bound to happen that we all roll our eyes. When we sell the business, which hopefully is soon, I do not think I will talk to him very often. I do everything I can to ensure I am not like him.
Dad - My dad, brother and I own a company together and for the past 5 years or so he has been 95% out of it. He has a very old school method of management so we butt heads on how the company should be ran. He has a sense of entitlement and treats people as such, even making remarks when he does come in to people that "you don't know who I am ?!?!". Whenever he calls me, it's only to talk business. He has made several remarks to my wife that are very uncalled for, he cannot control his temper and whenever we're all together something is bound to happen that we all roll our eyes. When we sell the business, which hopefully is soon, I do not think I will talk to him very often. I do everything I can to ensure I am not like him.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:08 pm to NatalbanyTigerFan
Mom has BPD and never sought any treatment for it. She's been better as she's gotten older and she got some grandkids.
Like some other posters stated, I learned a lot about what NOT to do as a parent.
Like some other posters stated, I learned a lot about what NOT to do as a parent.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:09 pm to NatalbanyTigerFan
nope, couldn't imagine not speaking to the ones who raised me
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:15 pm to Relham10
quote:It is
Depressing thread this is
Also didn’t realize how common a fricked up family dynamic is
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:16 pm to samson73103
quote:
My mother and I have a pretty fragile relationship.
Same. I still love her but in large part I still am in contact with her just because I respected my dad and he always took care of her, so I feel obligated to help do the same.
She has had severe mental lapses at times when medications needed to be adjusted and that has led to a lot of issues. One time she called the cops and said that I had stabbed my wife and kid to death. Was not that fun to answer the door in the middle of the night with cops yelling to see my wife.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:17 pm to HillabeeBaw
quote:
Sorry for your loss DLT
Thank you. This Mother’s Day is hitting me hard. She passed 4/2.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:18 pm to Slickback
quote:
always surprised at the trivial shite some people will let ruin a relationship.
Sometimes hearing an isolated example may seem like it's trivial, but it's more of a "death by a thousand cuts" situation. At some point there's only so much BS you can take from a person, parent or otherwise. And I say this as a very forgiving person.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 12:26 pm to HouseMom
It's only very recently that we learned that my late MIL expressed to all her sons repeatedly that she wished she had aborted them.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 1:15 pm to dyslexiateechur
Prayers sent. My Father has liver cancer and we're really close. Can't imagine not having him around. But he's been a battler the last two years and last MRI was a positive for a change
This post was edited on 5/7/24 at 1:20 pm
Posted on 5/7/24 at 1:43 pm to carhartt
quote:
carhartt
Don't even get me started on what she has done since my younger brother joined vs when i was in...
Posted on 5/7/24 at 1:53 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
My money is on at least 50% of this thread to be contributed to from trailers.
We lived in a house but it was very poor. We were very poor and neither of my parents finished high school. They were the best and most loving parents a person could ask for. Me just typing this makes me want to cry I miss them so much.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 2:17 pm to NatalbanyTigerFan
Have not spoke to my mother in about 4 years. Took a long time to realize my dad was right to divorce her. She is incredibly selfish and toxic. Can’t have her around my family.
It’s sad, but a very bad person can still have children.
It’s sad, but a very bad person can still have children.
Posted on 5/7/24 at 2:24 pm to azcatiger
I’m not trying to boast, cause this thread is depressing (but real apparently), but I lucked out. Talk to my parents daily. When my son was born 4 yrs ago, they moved 12 hrs away from their home to be closer. It’ll be me taking care of them in their old age, and I look forward to being there for them the way they were for me.
We weren’t rich growing up, but they sacrificed all they had for my brother and I.
Wife and I went to a parenting conference at church last year cause she made me. I said being a good parent comes naturally. Maybe I’m wrong?
We weren’t rich growing up, but they sacrificed all they had for my brother and I.
Wife and I went to a parenting conference at church last year cause she made me. I said being a good parent comes naturally. Maybe I’m wrong?
Posted on 5/7/24 at 2:38 pm to NatalbanyTigerFan
Both of my parents are now deceased. Had a GREAT relationship with both and will always miss both of them terribly.
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