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re: How do you and your spouse handle money?
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:32 am to PhiTiger1764
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:32 am to PhiTiger1764
quote:
Separate vs joint accounts is simply an organization mechanism.
Outside the scope of some highly precise scenarios with personal business, existing property or existing wealth variance between couples; what is the benefit to separate accounts?
The few couples I have asked has come down to laziness, trust issues and just plain not knowing what to do.
However what is the Money Board reasoning for a standard married couple of equal earnings to not combine for simplicity?
1
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:43 am to DarthRebel
quote:
what is the benefit to separate accounts?
I have always made a significant amount more than my wife. Her biggest concern was if everything was 100% joint, she would feel that she would need permission to spend money she earned herself and would feel guilty (more so than she already does) anytime she needs to buy something for herself or wants to treat herself. She understands it is illogical, but she already had a hard enough time spending money on non-necessities she was worried it would actually make it worse. Our method was about her sanity.
Most of her "reckless spending" is done at stores like TJMaxx, or a day trip to the outlet malls. This woman has a spending problem, but it's not because she spends too much
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 9:45 am
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:48 am to WhiskeyThrottle
quote:
A good budgeting principal to prevent you from over spending is to take an allowance. You can set up 3 bank accounts in the same bank. All deposits go into the primary account, pay bills out of that, then transfer funds to the other two accounts and you each spend out of your own "account" that is your allowance
This is the way I've always envisioned it working. Glad to see someone say this so it sounds sensible.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:51 am to Fat Bastard
quote:
she basically gets an "allowance check " from me
This is bizarre to me, but if it works, I guess it works.
We're completely combined outside of work related retirement accounts, but we consider those one anyway, since it's our pool of money together.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 10:06 am to jlovel7
everything separate like it was before we married. we've always talked about our finances from very early in our relationship so there was never any issues before being married so why change that? we talked about joining and decided it really didnt matter either way as long as bills were paid and decided if it was necessary then we'd combine. i take all the big bills and she takes a few smaller ones. i check on her every now and then to make sure shes saving a little on the side. everything goes on a credit card and it gets paid every month. if for some reason one of has a short fall then the other will take whatever the bill is for that month. keep it simple.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 10:26 am to jlovel7
We have combined accounts. I handle investing, she handles bills.
We discuss big purchases and honor system birthdays and Christmas gifts from each other. We have an AMEX Platinum, both of our daughters are authorized users.
In 23 years of marriage, it has worked beautifully.
We discuss big purchases and honor system birthdays and Christmas gifts from each other. We have an AMEX Platinum, both of our daughters are authorized users.
In 23 years of marriage, it has worked beautifully.
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 10:29 am
Posted on 11/3/23 at 10:29 am to DarthRebel
quote:
It can work multiple ways, however the joint tends to be the better option for 90% of the marriages. Well at least the ones that will last.
90% of marriages between compatible responsible adults will work better than ones between shitty partners. Not sure how many checking accounts you have is necessairly a harbinger of a bad marriage. It's about the peoppel and their habits.
quote:
It cracks me up when out eating or vacationing with married friends and the other couple is trying to figure out who's account to use.
It cracks me up when a husband wants to buy a $150 golf club or tickets to a football game and has to ask permission from his wife before he's allowed to.
Some things work for some and not for others. That's life.
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 10:31 am
Posted on 11/3/23 at 11:14 am to jlovel7
We have a joint savings and checking. And personal checkings.
We know what our monthly bills are. We split them by percentage according to take home.
We use the same cc for the points. Pay it off monthly based off of the same percentage, unless one of us has a big expense. Then we split that out.
It’s simple. Accounts are connected and we auto draft everything.
A set amount of savings comes out of each paycheck prior to all this. Anything lagniappe at the end of the month is either going into a savings or taxable account.
We know what our monthly bills are. We split them by percentage according to take home.
We use the same cc for the points. Pay it off monthly based off of the same percentage, unless one of us has a big expense. Then we split that out.
It’s simple. Accounts are connected and we auto draft everything.
A set amount of savings comes out of each paycheck prior to all this. Anything lagniappe at the end of the month is either going into a savings or taxable account.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 11:43 am to jlovel7
We set a budget for household and we contribute to the account.
We both set aside about 15-18% for retirement. And what we do with our “own” money is up to each other.
We both set aside about 15-18% for retirement. And what we do with our “own” money is up to each other.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:07 pm to jlovel7
Mine has a debit card connected to "HER" account only, she works and puts 1/2 her check in "HER" account and 1/2 in mine.
She also has a credit card but never abuses it.
The joint account thing went south quick at my house.
I pay all the bills and manage all major financial transactions.
She also has a credit card but never abuses it.
The joint account thing went south quick at my house.
I pay all the bills and manage all major financial transactions.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:15 pm to jlovel7
Prenuptial agreement. Separate Estates. Set up a couple joint accounts for living expenses and saving for vacations or anything that you care to go in on together.
People will downvote bc they were afraid to have that talk, but the vast majority of divorced men would be in a much better place if they had that 1 single uncomfortable conversation in the beginning.
People will downvote bc they were afraid to have that talk, but the vast majority of divorced men would be in a much better place if they had that 1 single uncomfortable conversation in the beginning.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:16 pm to DarthRebel
quote:
It can work multiple ways, however the joint tends to be the better option for 90% of the marriages. Well at least the ones that will last.
I'll let my wife know about our pending divorce then
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:49 pm to jchamil
Every time these threads come up there is always at least one person who has really strong opinions regarding joint checking accounts, and I will never understand it.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:53 pm to jchamil
We look at every penny that comes into our accounts as shared. We have joint checking and saving accounts, to us it doesn't really matter who makes more (she does). Also when it comes to saving for retirement, over the holidays we look at look at our projected income for the year (our raises are pretty standard and we know when they'll happen) and then look at what it will take to save 15-20% of our pretax income. Other than that we let the other one know if we're going to spend any significant sum, say over $100 or so. It works for us. Also we put money aside in 529 accounts for the kids college.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:56 pm to jlovel7
We agreed a long time ago that her money is her money and my money is her money.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 12:58 pm to jlovel7
quote:
joint accounts
Me and my wife have joint accounts. Joint savings, joint checking but different credit cards. When you get married it's no longer "her money" or "your money". It makes things so much easier because you don't have to worry about sending her money to pay for something or balancing multiple accounts.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 1:08 pm to jlovel7
When we both worked, I let her pay the house bills and I paid the mortgage because I made more. We kept seperate accounts but did a joint savings account. After we started having kids, she quit her job and I took over all the bills. I also added her to my amex account so she could buy groceries, gas, stuff for the house, kids, etc with it. Now I basically pay for everything. She still does part time work and uses that money for her splurges on herself or the kids.
All that being said, we have never done joint checking for our income, I basically handle all the large financial decisions, and as long as she can see we have money in savings and I don't nag her about her credit card use, she is good. And as long as she continues to not abuse her credit card, I am happy.
All that being said, we have never done joint checking for our income, I basically handle all the large financial decisions, and as long as she can see we have money in savings and I don't nag her about her credit card use, she is good. And as long as she continues to not abuse her credit card, I am happy.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 1:27 pm to Fat Bastard
Joint accounts and wife handles everything day to day and once a month we decide together how much to move over to savings. I trust my wife completely or else I wouldn’t have married her. If. Your worried about trusting her with your money you should rethink marrying her
Posted on 11/3/23 at 1:38 pm to The Torch
quote:
Mine has a debit card connected to "HER" account
How old are ya'll?
Posted on 11/3/23 at 2:26 pm to notiger1997
We are fully joint and access / visibility to every penny we own. I manage all finances and we’ll have check ins to make sure she feels confident and informed on the approach.
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