- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
How do you and your spouse handle money?
Posted on 11/3/23 at 7:53 am
Posted on 11/3/23 at 7:53 am
Getting married next year, obviously finances are about to change.
The good news is my fiancé is relatively thrifty and not a big spender thank god. So I'm not super worried about her draining all the accounts. She currently manages her own money (with a little help from me on where to direct savings/investments into various accounts). Overall though, she manages it all and we basically set up a framework of what goes where and she has stuck with it very well.
I effectively make all of our large split purchases and she sends me the $ for it. We do split just about everything and each have our own fun budgets of what's remaining once we've hit all our savings/investing/retirement goals + our shared spending for the month like rent/groceries/gas/etc...
To me this works super well because she's in charge of her own finances and can spend her money as she sees fit and I take comfort knowing all the big items get paid for.
Well yesterday she brought up joint accounts which I do not have an issue with from a visibility standpoint (aka there's nothing I'm hiding in there that I don't want her to see), but I've never done this before and I am struggling to visualize how it would work unless it's all just in one big pot, which seems messy as hell since we both make and spend our own money generally.
Is there a hybrid method where we both just transfer money into a communal pot for shared expenses every month and it all gets paid for out of that? Do I just need to suck it up and we both share a checking account and a credit card? She was saying she feels its what "adults" do but I was not visualizing well how it actually makes things any easier. The last thing we want to do is also make it so the pot seems bigger, and we both dip into it a little more because it becomes more "ours" rather than "mine" or "hers" which I think mentally allows us to be a little stingier.
The good news is my fiancé is relatively thrifty and not a big spender thank god. So I'm not super worried about her draining all the accounts. She currently manages her own money (with a little help from me on where to direct savings/investments into various accounts). Overall though, she manages it all and we basically set up a framework of what goes where and she has stuck with it very well.
I effectively make all of our large split purchases and she sends me the $ for it. We do split just about everything and each have our own fun budgets of what's remaining once we've hit all our savings/investing/retirement goals + our shared spending for the month like rent/groceries/gas/etc...
To me this works super well because she's in charge of her own finances and can spend her money as she sees fit and I take comfort knowing all the big items get paid for.
Well yesterday she brought up joint accounts which I do not have an issue with from a visibility standpoint (aka there's nothing I'm hiding in there that I don't want her to see), but I've never done this before and I am struggling to visualize how it would work unless it's all just in one big pot, which seems messy as hell since we both make and spend our own money generally.
Is there a hybrid method where we both just transfer money into a communal pot for shared expenses every month and it all gets paid for out of that? Do I just need to suck it up and we both share a checking account and a credit card? She was saying she feels its what "adults" do but I was not visualizing well how it actually makes things any easier. The last thing we want to do is also make it so the pot seems bigger, and we both dip into it a little more because it becomes more "ours" rather than "mine" or "hers" which I think mentally allows us to be a little stingier.
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 7:55 am
46
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:13 am to jlovel7
I make it, she spends it….
There is no right answer. If you both are responsible and reasonable, it likely can work multiple ways.
Just always put some aside of large unexpected needs. Life happens
I personally would want to know what my wife is spending, in general. I wouldn’t want to find out she has ran up a large CC bill or missed payments.
There is no right answer. If you both are responsible and reasonable, it likely can work multiple ways.
Just always put some aside of large unexpected needs. Life happens
I personally would want to know what my wife is spending, in general. I wouldn’t want to find out she has ran up a large CC bill or missed payments.
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 8:27 am
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:38 am to jlovel7
Are y’all planning on having kids?
We are older (mid 40’s) no plans for kids so we plan to keep doing what we are doing with possibly a joint savings for vacations & extras
I think with kids it would be easier to have joint banking with all the extra expenses
We are older (mid 40’s) no plans for kids so we plan to keep doing what we are doing with possibly a joint savings for vacations & extras
I think with kids it would be easier to have joint banking with all the extra expenses
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:40 am to jlovel7
quote:
Is there a hybrid method where we both just transfer money into a communal pot for shared expenses every month and it all gets paid for out of that? Do I just need to suck it up and we both share a checking account and a credit card? She was saying she feels its what "adults" do but I was not visualizing well how it actually makes things any easier. The last thing we want to do is also make it so the pot seems bigger, and we both dip into it a little more because it becomes more "ours" rather than "mine" or "hers" which I think mentally allows us to be a little stingier.
A good budgeting principal to prevent you from over spending is to take an allowance. You can set up 3 bank accounts in the same bank. All deposits go into the primary account, pay bills out of that, then transfer funds to the other two accounts and you each spend out of your own "account" that is your allowance. Both of you have visibility for accountability purposes, and nobody every bickers about why someone spent less over time to save up for a big purchase. You will end up going over your allowance at times, but when that is the case, just communicate why you went over and adjust accordingly.
If she makes less than you, never make it a "fair" argument. Both of you agree to whatever allowance structure you're going to take, and do your best to live by it. My wife made half of what I made for our first 7 years of marriage and she ended up making a lot of good decisions at work and blew by me. That's the one mistake I didn't learn the hard way. I never made the argument "I make more than you so I deserve to spend more". And now we both spend comparable amounts despite her making more. I'm not ashamed of that either. Marriage is a team effort and if you always do your best to make your wife feel equal, in theory, it will reciprocate.
Just the fact that you're open minded about it and willing to figure out how to make it work tells me your rational. Money can't necessarily make a marriage, but it sure as hell can break it.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:41 am to jlovel7
We have one joint account and each have our own credit cards. We give each other the courtesy of letting the other know if we're going to be spending a large amount unexpectedly, generally over $500. Works pretty well and we can both have privacy and be adults. And we can both see if reserves are getting low.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:42 am to jlovel7
We combine everything. I handle investments. She handles bills but thats easy now with everything on autopay. We are both frugal and discuss big purchases but dont have threshold. Always lived below our means so it hasnt been an issue.
I cant imagine the hassle of trying to split costs equitably with varying individual incomes, expenses and desires. What happens when one of you invests more is that your pool of wealth? Or, will one of you feel compelled to spend the excess to keep up and get you "fair share" of discretionary spending?
I cant imagine the hassle of trying to split costs equitably with varying individual incomes, expenses and desires. What happens when one of you invests more is that your pool of wealth? Or, will one of you feel compelled to spend the excess to keep up and get you "fair share" of discretionary spending?
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:43 am to jlovel7
We basically have 4 accounts; a bills account that all our monthly expenses go in, my check, her checking, and a joint savings.
We are on all accounts together and have full visibility of everything and can move money around as we see fit.
I particularly like this because once the bills account is funded biweekly then I know what I have and she knows what she has to "spend" in our seperate checking accounts.
We are on all accounts together and have full visibility of everything and can move money around as we see fit.
I particularly like this because once the bills account is funded biweekly then I know what I have and she knows what she has to "spend" in our seperate checking accounts.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:44 am to LSUSports247
quote:
There is no right answer. If you both are responsible and reasonable, it likely can work multiple ways.
This
When we got married we started using a single checking and savings account. We used to talk twice a month about paying bills so we could be on the same page about what we were spending and who we owed how much to.
Been married 25 years now and she handles it all and I just check the accounts everyone and then.
Only “rule” we’ve ever loosely followed was to let the other know if we were going to spend more than $250 on anything
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:46 am to jlovel7
I got married earlier this year and had high hopes of a complex money management system where things stayed separate and bills got paid etc. At the end of the day, I make more and I watch the money and she has no interest in that. To make it easier for me, I combined everything and I use Rocket Money to watch what we bring in monthly after our 401k contributions vs. what we spend monthly. Every month I look for ways to improve. Anything surplus is savings. I don't overcomplicate it and try to determine who pays for groceries and who pays for bills. Thats just what works for me. At the end of the day everything has to get paid and the family needs some savings also.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:52 am to jlovel7
We have a joint checking account, 2 joint savings accounts, and each have our own personal accounts. At the beginning of the year, we work out our budgets based on prior year spending and anticipated future adjustments. We max out our retirement accounts, all insurances are paid 100% by my company. We then figure out our monthly take-home pay, and allocate all bills based on our respective take-home percentage. I currently take home 60% of our total income, so I am responsible for 60% of our joint expenses.
As part of our budget, we also budget for the kids monthly UTMA contributions (which is used for the annual tuition payments), and our annual vacation allowance.
Every pay period we have a set amount that goes into the joint checking account to cover our respective %age of the bills. From there, the fixed amounts are transferred to the kids savings, and the vacation savings. The remaining balance is in our individual accounts, and no one blinks an eye with how we each spend our money.
As part of our budget, we also budget for the kids monthly UTMA contributions (which is used for the annual tuition payments), and our annual vacation allowance.
Every pay period we have a set amount that goes into the joint checking account to cover our respective %age of the bills. From there, the fixed amounts are transferred to the kids savings, and the vacation savings. The remaining balance is in our individual accounts, and no one blinks an eye with how we each spend our money.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 8:56 am to LSUSports247
These threads usually turn into the joint account group claiming that the other way of doing things is not a real marriage, treating your spouse like a roommate, etc.
The reality is this
The reality is this
quote:
There is no right answer. If you both are responsible and reasonable, it likely can work multiple ways.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:02 am to jlovel7
Joint account and a loose budget…since we’re not really cash strapped. All purchase decisions of size are discussed. We don’t get in the weeds with allowances or picking over every Amazon order.
We’re both pretty tight though.
We’re both pretty tight though.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:04 am to PhiTiger1764
quote:
These threads usually turn into the joint account group claiming that the other way of doing things is not a real marriage, treating your spouse like a roommate, etc.
As they should
It can work multiple ways, however the joint tends to be the better option for 90% of the marriages. Well at least the ones that will last.
It cracks me up when out eating or vacationing with married friends and the other couple is trying to figure out who's account to use.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:08 am to jlovel7
Marriage is a union between two people to become one. Everything should become one. Your decisions, your life, your finances, everything.
If you can’t wrap your head around that or don’t want to then don’t get married.
We have a joint checking, joint savings, and cap one credit card. All of our money deposits into the joint checking. I manage all of our bills and finances and investments. If she starts spending too much I tell her to calm down for a month. I have that conversation every 2 months.
If you can’t wrap your head around that or don’t want to then don’t get married.
We have a joint checking, joint savings, and cap one credit card. All of our money deposits into the joint checking. I manage all of our bills and finances and investments. If she starts spending too much I tell her to calm down for a month. I have that conversation every 2 months.
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 11:26 am
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:18 am to Breesus
quote:
We have a joint checking, joint savings, and cap one credit card. All of our money deposits into the joint checking. I manage all of our bills and finances and investments. If she starts spending too much I tell her to calm down for a month. I have that conversation every 2 months.
My life exactly
Besides the fact that we and everything we own became one on our wedding day....I don't have the time to try to figure out "fair" and I feel like our definitions of "fair" would only cause issues. We're in this together. Both contribute what we can and both live the life that affords us.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:18 am to Breesus
quote:
Marriage is a union between two people to become one. Everything should become one. Your decisions, your life, your finances, everything.
No one disagrees with this.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:19 am to PhiTiger1764
Plenty of people disagree with that. They shouldn’t, but they do.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:22 am to jlovel7
We have joint accounts and credit cards. We just let each other know when we're getting something out of the ordinary. It's worked fine for a decade. I do all the bills and management because my wife wants nothing to do with it. It's complicated by the business and properties I own, so that's why I do it all.
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:25 am to Breesus
Separate vs joint accounts is simply an organization mechanism.
How a married couple decides to organize finances has no bearing on whether finances “become one.”
How a married couple decides to organize finances has no bearing on whether finances “become one.”
Posted on 11/3/23 at 9:26 am to jlovel7
my wife runs our joint personal checking account.
i have my own personal checking account and my business checking account.
i control the money. I handle all the real estate and many bills. we each have our own credit cards.
she basically gets an "allowance check " from me for bills and to stay within budget. Been doing it this way since like 2011 and it works great! Works great even with kids. I can attest to it.
i have my own personal checking account and my business checking account.
i control the money. I handle all the real estate and many bills. we each have our own credit cards.
she basically gets an "allowance check " from me for bills and to stay within budget. Been doing it this way since like 2011 and it works great! Works great even with kids. I can attest to it.
This post was edited on 11/3/23 at 9:29 am
Page 1 of 5
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News