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re: What’s your best dad joke?
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:21 pm to Johnny Roastbeef
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:21 pm to Johnny Roastbeef
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, stares everyone down and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw".
This post was edited on 1/21/24 at 1:22 pm
1
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:41 pm to Adajax
Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. The blonde on the east bank yells across the river to the blonde on the west bank “HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE?” The blonde on the west looks around and replies “YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE”
Posted on 1/21/24 at 2:08 pm to killedbyindians
After the hospice nurse tended to 93 year old fil, I said Fred, you really seem to perk up during your bath. Fred said I ain't dead yet
Posted on 1/21/24 at 3:59 pm to Sus-Scrofa
quote:
The interrupting cow knock knock joke.
I made my 6 year old cry with that one. She laughed at first, but I kept mooing every time she tried to say something afterwards for a minute or two.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:03 pm to TrapperJohn
Not a dad but
knock knock
Who’s there?
Yoda Lady
Stop yodeling!!
knock knock
Who’s there?
Yoda Lady
Stop yodeling!!
This post was edited on 1/21/24 at 4:06 pm
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:04 pm to fastlane
1) Two antennas got married. The wedding wasn't anything to write home about but the reception was great
2) Did you hear about the highly accomplished scarecrow? He was out standing in his field.
2) Did you hear about the highly accomplished scarecrow? He was out standing in his field.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:27 pm to thedisciple315
Which weighs less, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
Butane, because it is a lighter fluid.
Butane, because it is a lighter fluid.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:31 pm to TigerDeacon
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved
Nothing, it just waved
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:49 pm to lsusteve1
My Dad had the best
“This is my oldest son, a work in process. Hasn’t learned To look both ways before crossing the street.”
I got hit by a car, getting off a baseball team bus, when I was 17. When I was 50 years old, he still introduced me that way.
“This is my oldest son, a work in process. Hasn’t learned To look both ways before crossing the street.”
I got hit by a car, getting off a baseball team bus, when I was 17. When I was 50 years old, he still introduced me that way.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:32 pm to bluedragon
Ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food.”
Mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender stand we don’t serve mushrooms.
Why not I’m a fungi?
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Da tame way.
Bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food.”
Mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender stand we don’t serve mushrooms.
Why not I’m a fungi?
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Da tame way.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:41 pm to fastlane
What time is it when you need to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty
Tooth hurty
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:52 pm to fastlane
Haven’t spoken to my wife in six months, don’t want to interrupt her.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:59 pm to fastlane
A rabbi and priest walked into a bar, they both fell down.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 7:40 pm to jscrims
quote:
My friend goes, dude you can’t say midget. It is a little con descending.
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison?
The small medium at large?
Posted on 1/21/24 at 8:35 pm to F73ME
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
-Arrrrr?
-No, it’s the C.
- Waiter, there’s a button in my salad.
- That’s just part of the dressing.
-Arrrrr?
-No, it’s the C.
- Waiter, there’s a button in my salad.
- That’s just part of the dressing.
Posted on 1/21/24 at 9:53 pm to Allyn McKeen
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
When it becomes apparent.
Posted on 1/22/24 at 2:21 am to fastlane
When I was a kid we were on a trip and dad was driving, he said look kids I’m going to do a magic trick. He then pulled into to get some gas.
What’s the trick dad?
Dad: I just turned into a gas station.
Boooo, haha
We approached a railroad crossing and dad said that a train must have just been by.
How can you tell dad?
Dad: I can still see it’s tracks.
What’s the trick dad?
Dad: I just turned into a gas station.
Boooo, haha
We approached a railroad crossing and dad said that a train must have just been by.
How can you tell dad?
Dad: I can still see it’s tracks.
This post was edited on 1/22/24 at 2:24 am
Posted on 1/22/24 at 11:28 am to fastlane
Damnit...looks like my car has a leek.
Posted on 1/22/24 at 11:30 am to Allyn McKeen
quote:
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? -Arrrrr? -No, it’s the C.
You know how you spell pirate?
With one eye.
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