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re: What’s your best dad joke?

Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:21 pm to
Posted by Adajax
Member since Nov 2015
6150 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:21 pm to
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, stares everyone down and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw".
This post was edited on 1/21/24 at 1:22 pm
Posted by killedbyindians
Earth
Member since Jun 2022
1185 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 1:41 pm to
Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. The blonde on the east bank yells across the river to the blonde on the west bank “HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE?” The blonde on the west looks around and replies “YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE”
Posted by Trevaylin
south texas
Member since Feb 2019
5967 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 2:08 pm to
After the hospice nurse tended to 93 year old fil, I said Fred, you really seem to perk up during your bath. Fred said I ain't dead yet
Posted by TrapperJohn
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2007
11161 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 3:59 pm to
quote:

The interrupting cow knock knock joke.


I made my 6 year old cry with that one. She laughed at first, but I kept mooing every time she tried to say something afterwards for a minute or two.
Posted by STigers
Gulf Coast
Member since Nov 2022
1635 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:03 pm to
Not a dad but
knock knock
Who’s there?
Yoda Lady











Stop yodeling!!
This post was edited on 1/21/24 at 4:06 pm
Posted by thedisciple315
Albany, NY
Member since Sep 2015
239 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:04 pm to
1) Two antennas got married. The wedding wasn't anything to write home about but the reception was great

2) Did you hear about the highly accomplished scarecrow? He was out standing in his field.
Posted by TigerDeacon
West Monroe, LA
Member since Sep 2003
29345 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:27 pm to
Which weighs less, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?


Butane, because it is a lighter fluid.
Posted by lsusteve1
Member since Dec 2004
42041 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:31 pm to
What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved
Posted by bluedragon
Birmingham
Member since May 2020
6702 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 4:49 pm to
My Dad had the best

“This is my oldest son, a work in process. Hasn’t learned To look both ways before crossing the street.”

I got hit by a car, getting off a baseball team bus, when I was 17. When I was 50 years old, he still introduced me that way.
Posted by Tomcat
1825 Tulane
Member since Nov 2004
498 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:32 pm to
Ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food.”

Mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender stand we don’t serve mushrooms.
Why not I’m a fungi?

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Da tame way.
Posted by Lou
Modesto, CA
Member since Aug 2005
8291 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:41 pm to
What time is it when you need to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty
Posted by LSUtoBOOT
Member since Aug 2012
12519 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:52 pm to
Haven’t spoken to my wife in six months, don’t want to interrupt her.
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71518 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 6:59 pm to
A rabbi and priest walked into a bar, they both fell down.
Posted by F73ME
SE LA
Member since May 2018
858 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 7:40 pm to
quote:

My friend goes, dude you can’t say midget. It is a little con descending.


Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison?

The small medium at large?
Posted by Allyn McKeen
Key West, FL
Member since Jun 2012
4291 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 8:35 pm to
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
-Arrrrr?
-No, it’s the C.


- Waiter, there’s a button in my salad.
- That’s just part of the dressing.
Posted by sqerty
AP
Member since May 2022
5131 posts
Posted on 1/21/24 at 9:53 pm to
When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.
Posted by Clark14
L.A.Hog
Member since Dec 2014
19847 posts
Posted on 1/22/24 at 2:21 am to
When I was a kid we were on a trip and dad was driving, he said look kids I’m going to do a magic trick. He then pulled into to get some gas.


What’s the trick dad?


Dad: I just turned into a gas station.



Boooo, haha







We approached a railroad crossing and dad said that a train must have just been by.


How can you tell dad?


Dad: I can still see it’s tracks.
This post was edited on 1/22/24 at 2:24 am
Posted by OrthoBro
Member since Nov 2023
71 posts
Posted on 1/22/24 at 4:52 am to
Pull my finger.
Posted by madmaxvol
Infinity + 1 Posts
Member since Oct 2011
19198 posts
Posted on 1/22/24 at 11:28 am to
Damnit...looks like my car has a leek.

Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124583 posts
Posted on 1/22/24 at 11:30 am to
quote:

- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? -Arrrrr? -No, it’s the C.



You know how you spell pirate?


With one eye.
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