What’s your best dad joke?

The reflection in my mirror every morning

Guess who I saw today?


Everyone I looked at.

What kinda fruit makes fun of you......

Banannananana

Time flies like arrow.
Fruit flies like a bannana

I tell dad jokes.



Sometimes he laughs.

The interrupting cow knock knock joke.

What's blue and tastes like red paint? Blue paint.

I saw a frisbee, I couldn't understand why it was getting bigger and bigger, then it hit me.

I like to play with mushrooms, they're fun guys.

What kind of music do people listen to in electric cars?

AC/DC

Who don’t the animals in Africa play poker?

Too many cheetahs.

A drunk is harassing a ghey in a bar while everyone is watching a football game on the TV. The fig is finally annoyed enough to challenge the drunk to a game of 'overtime beer football'

The object of the game is to down a mug of beer without stopping, which = TD. Then drop your pants and fart, which = the xtra point. The first person who cant finish the beer, or produce a fart, loses

The homo decides to go first to demonstrate. He downs the beer, turns his tail to the drunk, and produces a slight toot. He now claims a 7 pt lead

The drunk scoffs, slams down his beer, drops his pants and plans on ripping an enormous fart right at the homo, when suddenly the homo rushes across the floor yelling "Block that kick, Block that kick!!"

Final score:
Gheys 7
Drunks 6

Me: Here take this stud finder I can’t use it.

Family member: what you mean you can’t use it.

Me: every time I turn it on it goes off.