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Wedding vs. Elope - Pro's & Con's

Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:16 am
Posted by Turf Taint
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2021
6010 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:16 am
Context - wedding savings for daughter's eventual wedding

4 hours - ceremony / reception

Would you rather spend $10k per hour ($160/minute) on your wedding or take that money and put it towards a new home?

I know Wedding costs can go much, much higher and much, much lower. But, for discussion...

Elope with a nice party for family & friends and chunk of money to kick off life together screams inside my brain.

Learn me your thoughts...
Posted by ThatMakesSense
Fort Lauderdale
Member since Aug 2015
15281 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:19 am to
JOP
Posted by thegreatboudini
Member since Oct 2008
7094 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:19 am to
quote:

Learn me your thoughts...


It's really not your decision.

You can give your input, but your daughter will ultimately do what she and her soon to be husband thinks is right.

For context, my FiL cut me a check and said good luck. I covered the rest. It turned out to be about 50/50.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
27893 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:20 am to
Tell her she will be divorced within 10 years so take the money
Posted by Thundercles
Mars
Member since Sep 2010
6133 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:20 am to
I think everyone who has ever gotten married says "oh boy if we could do it again we'd just elope and do a small party with friends for 1/10 the cost" yet somehow every year is chock full of extravagant parties and no one seems to follow the advice.

There's probably a nice middle ground to target where you can have a much less formal ceremony at a venue without the entire 30k production and do a party just as grand for about 7k.
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
128036 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:22 am to
Positive:

Elope:
You get married
You don’t spend crazy money

Wedding:
Nothing


Best of both worlds:

Destination wedding with only your closest friends and family.

You get a trip, a party, and the people you actually care about, for far less money.
Posted by dyslexiateechur
Louisiana
Member since Jan 2009
35841 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:22 am to
My daughters getting to where marriage is being brought up between her and her bf of 6 years and I wish they’d just elope.

He says his family would disown him if he did.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
20534 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:23 am to
quote:

daughter's eventual wedding


What does your daughter want? How much does that factor into your decision to give her money for the wedding?

Further, it’s your money. What kind of wedding do you want?

Most guys here will say elope with the down payment on a house. But we’re all middle aged, older men who have no hopes of magical dreams.
Posted by WhereIsMyBestLife
Member since Feb 2023
19 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:27 am to
quote:

It's really not your decision.

You can give your input, but your daughter will ultimately do what she and her soon to be husband thinks is right.


I know much has changed, but I think the person paying still has the ultimate decision authority.
Posted by MrLSU
Yellowstone, Val d'isere
Member since Jan 2004
29008 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:31 am to
n
This post was edited on 8/11/23 at 10:40 pm
Posted by greygoose
Member since Aug 2013
14329 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:31 am to
I eloped. My brother did not. On his wedding day, he was not happy. Told me he wish he'd done it my way instead.

Just had a friend's son get married. 250 guests. Big, catered wedding........They live in a trailer and now have a baby on the way.
Posted by Snipe
Member since Nov 2015
15909 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:32 am to
Waddings are almost a bigger waste of money then funerals..


Fact.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53115 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:36 am to
My wife and I eloped in Vegas. Zero regrets.

The kids (both girls) are mostly on their own. I might give them 5k. I'm not paying for some expensive party when I'm trying to save as much as I can for retirement.

They have the rest of their careers to pay that off if they choose to drop 30k+ on a wedding.
This post was edited on 2/25/23 at 3:34 pm
Posted by CoachChappy
Member since May 2013
34092 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:38 am to
Just take Mike Leach’s advice and elope.
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
58515 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:38 am to
Just tell her to get knocked up and they can save money on a ring too
Posted by Teddy Ruxpin
Member since Oct 2006
40596 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:38 am to
quote:

I think everyone who has ever gotten married says "oh boy if we could do it again we'd just elope and do a small party with friends for 1/10 the cost


Not me. It was a lot of fun. Great memories.
This post was edited on 2/25/23 at 8:40 am
Posted by lsufan9193969700
Madisonville
Member since Sep 2003
55851 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:40 am to
You can't decide for others what they envision for their self/future. Also, looking back after experiencing life, it's easy to see the better/more logical answer. Weddings, however, are not logical.
Posted by Tomcat
1825 Tulane
Member since Nov 2004
540 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:42 am to
Why not comprise? Go away to get married and come back and have a reception.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
71020 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:44 am to
I’ve been married for 15 years. Our wedding/reception was awesome and a ton of fun.

After seeing what a lot of my younger coworkers are paying for weddings these days I think we would’ve probably eloped in their situation.
This post was edited on 2/25/23 at 8:46 am
Posted by patnuh
South LA
Member since Sep 2005
7424 posts
Posted on 2/25/23 at 8:45 am to
I wanted to elope and my wife insisted on a wedding. The minute we got back to the room after the reception, she said you were right…that was a huge waste.

It was a great wedding, with full open bar and a fantastic band. But the money and hassle involved just isn’t worth it imo.
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