re: Wedding vs. Elope - Pro's & Con's

He has a huge family and they all expect to be invited. He will also be disowned if they live together before marriage or don’t get married in the Catholic Church.

Our wedding was paid for by her parents. It was an awesome time and I’m glad to have the memories. With that said, we would not have done something at that scale if we paid for it ourselves.

I do think there needs to be some kind of celebration / party…it’s one of the biggest events in someone’s life.

There are plenty of ways to save on throwing the wedding though. I am still blown away at how much is spent on minor things…save the dates and invitations cost thousands of dollars. I would have sent an evite

the wedding at the Catholic Church no matter how large doesn't cost a lot. It is the reception. There are choices that would have to be made. Also if they are the parents disowning then let them pay for it

My son married a girl whose parents were much like fallguy. I was shocked. 2 daughters and the only thing they paid for was the dress. I have two daughters and the budget is modest but it has been budgeted their whole life.

quote:

---

IMO. Set a total budget and tell the bride and groom they can spend it, keep it or spend part / keep part. Teach them early how living on a budget works.

---

That is what my parents (3 daughters) did and I did with my daughters.

Of all expenses for the wedding, the invitations and save the dates were the most head scratching and infuriating of all. If it’s sentimental, then make 10 of them for closest relatives that care about it as a memoir. Everyone else should have gotten an electronic.

Just the postage alone for sending it and then getting responses back is a$1.00+ an invite. And, it’s inefficient. Tallying responses and inevitably having to text people to get actual responses to finalize the list.

My RSVP due date is Monday and I have 20 people to text still. Lol.

To be fair, half of it is the fact that USPS is complete garbage.

(no message)

(no message)

City hall - $30 Then let the bride and groom be alone. Throw a party at a later date, if you are so inclined, but money towards a home for young newlyweds will be much more useful.

Friends in NOLA were told by his ex that his share of his daughter's wedding would be about 50K. He didn't have that much money and the wedding was to pay for his ex's social obligations three states away.

So we worked up a menu with him and did it all formal and he said his friends from NOLA would be coming to cook for the reception. I insisted the centerpiece be a gumbo, and said (formally) don't worry about local sourcing the meat, we'll pick it up along the roadside on the way there.

A kerfuffle ensued.

Several weeks later the happy couple broke up when prospective son in law insisted on spending Christmas with his Mother in Atlanta, leaving prospective bride with her Mother several hundred miles away.

A good hypothetical gumbo is a good thing.

quote:

---

Good luck with your relationship with your child when you tell her how her wedding must be handled.

---

LOL. If your daughter gets pissy when you want to have some input into the wedding you are footing the bill for, then you failed as a parent somewhere already.