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re: Wedding vs. Elope - Pro's & Con's
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:04 am to LouisianaLady
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:04 am to LouisianaLady
quote:
advise brides not to take money with strings attached
Is that why we don’t see the money dance at receptions like we used to see?
1
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:04 am to WhereIsMyBestLife
quote:
If your daughter gets pissy when you want to have some input
You sure have changed your tune.
I said the dad can provide input, you're the one who said the dad was the de-facto decision maker. Which is beyond ridiculous.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:05 am to Paul Allen
Funny enough, my (seemingly wealthy based on her home) wedding planner tried to convince me to do money dance. No dice on that, but I appreciated her effort. Lol.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:08 am to WhereIsMyBestLife
Two of my four are married. The budgets for the weddings were modest (beer and wine only instead of a full bar was a concession we had to make since our family is huge) and a great time, memories, and photographs were had. Three of my four own houses also (youngest just finished college last year). But they were raised to budget everything since birth.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:08 am to Turf Taint
I’ve done it both ways. Over achiever, I know
First wedding was a cathedral wedding, formal party, etc. It was almost 40k in 2011. Then the honeymoon was around 6k.
Second wedding-eloped. Went to a beautiful Caribbean island for a week. With the cost of the trip, photographer, wedding planning package, hair/makeup, etc, it was 10-11k, plus a 6-7k party (in laws insisted) when we returned.
Either way, nothing is going to be “cheap”, persay. But the eloping was infinitely less stressful, made amazing memories, met cool people from all over the world who I still keep up with..
I get why people want to do a big traditional wedding. I think the best of both worlds is a destination wedding with your closest friends and family but don’t expect that to be really any less expensive or stressful when it’s all said and done.
First wedding was a cathedral wedding, formal party, etc. It was almost 40k in 2011. Then the honeymoon was around 6k.
Second wedding-eloped. Went to a beautiful Caribbean island for a week. With the cost of the trip, photographer, wedding planning package, hair/makeup, etc, it was 10-11k, plus a 6-7k party (in laws insisted) when we returned.
Either way, nothing is going to be “cheap”, persay. But the eloping was infinitely less stressful, made amazing memories, met cool people from all over the world who I still keep up with..
I get why people want to do a big traditional wedding. I think the best of both worlds is a destination wedding with your closest friends and family but don’t expect that to be really any less expensive or stressful when it’s all said and done.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:09 am to LouisianaLady
quote:well in Baton Rouge you never really know do you
as we have the home my arse better die in already (not soon hopefully).
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:12 am to SuperSaint
LMAO ain’t that the truth. We are not hard to reach by foot so that helps.
Picc where did you honeymoon for the first?
Picc where did you honeymoon for the first?
This post was edited on 2/25/23 at 10:13 am
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:12 am to Turf Taint
eloping is just kind of lowbrow IMHO unless it's very poor people, second+ wedding, already had a bastard kid, etc.
be a proper european/american and have a wedding. weddings are important cultural and community events but we are steadily losing them.
be a proper european/american and have a wedding. weddings are important cultural and community events but we are steadily losing them.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:14 am to madamsquirrel
quote:
no matter how large doesn't cost a lot. It is the reception.
This is something people don’t think about. The ceremony is practically free. Feeding 200 people - wedding or not - costs money. Throw in alcohol and whatnot, it isn’t cheap to throw a big party.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:20 am to Snipe
quote:
Waddings are almost a bigger waste of money then funerals..
I dont have a ton of knowledge of the costs of either- because i eloped, and b/c im still alive so havent yet had a funeral…. But though i know funerals can be expensive- i didnt realize that they could reach the stratosphere like weddings.. i have heard of some weddings of people i know getting into the six figures, and this was years ago, pre-inflation.. Funerals dont run that much, do they ?
And as far as the ‘wasteful’ part- neither event is *for* the participants, whether bride/groom or dead person- most will tell you that the event is *for* the attendees of said event .
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:23 am to LouisianaLady
We did sandals in the Bahamas. I was also barely 23 and we didn’t have a ton to spend on the honeymoon. It was nice overall but at this stage I wouldn’t go back to a sandals.
Antigua (coco bay) for 2. The second was far better.
Antigua (coco bay) for 2. The second was far better.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:24 am to BK Lounge
quote:
Funerals dont run that much, do they ?
No but they can still be pricey. I’m burying my father’s ashes in the burial plot he already paid for back when I was a baby. Going with most simple options for everything (grave marker, etc). Still will cost 7k for all of it.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:30 am to Turf Taint
Go to enough weddings and you’ll see just how un-special they are. They’re a live action version of a paint by number where the prices are absolutely bloated by expectations and an entire industry built on cashing in on nostalgia.
My sister in law got married in an art museum, really nice venue. When she called to inquire they gave her rough pricing of $5-7k for the evening. The rep from the museum then asked if the event was a wedding and then apologized and said the pricing would be $12-15k.
Long story short, the party is rarely as good as you hope and you shell out massive amounts of money for people to eat generally mediocre food that they couldn’t care less about.
Weddings are like college these days. The price escalation has become so ridiculous, that you really have to evaluate if it’s really worth it.
My sister in law got married in an art museum, really nice venue. When she called to inquire they gave her rough pricing of $5-7k for the evening. The rep from the museum then asked if the event was a wedding and then apologized and said the pricing would be $12-15k.
Long story short, the party is rarely as good as you hope and you shell out massive amounts of money for people to eat generally mediocre food that they couldn’t care less about.
Weddings are like college these days. The price escalation has become so ridiculous, that you really have to evaluate if it’s really worth it.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:42 am to RolltidePA
The best weddings I’ve been to have all been destination weddings. They are obviously expensive for guests but cheaper than doing a large wedding in New Orleans.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 10:51 am to Turf Taint
quote:
Context - wedding savings for daughter's eventual wedding
What does your daughter want, and what does your wife want. The menfolk are just props and wallets in all this about 90% of the time.
My daughter always said she did not want a big wedding, and when the time came, she did a destination wedding in Portugal. About 25 showed up and had a great time doing things together for 4 days. Then everyone split up and did their own European vacation. She didn't ask for any money, but we of course chipped in. It wasn't that expensive, but then she is a great planner.
I was involved in a big, huge ceremony once and I was little more than a prop for my soon to be ex-wife and her mom. I would have gladly taken my FIL's offer to elope, but the females didn't even want us to talk about it. They had parties to plan.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 11:45 am to BK Lounge
quote:
But though i know funerals can be expensive- i didnt realize that they could reach the stratosphere like weddings.
The price is irrelevant for the most part, they're both a waste of money on something that is just for show it adds zero to the actual event that it's meant to showcase. The money could be put to much wiser use than an extravaganza that most people will forget within a few weeks or months.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 12:19 pm to Turf Taint
this is about the bride (and her mom), not the groom, and not the bride's dad. If she wants a wedding, and most of them do, then she's going to get one.
So OP, keep saving your pennies and if you're really lucky then one day you won't have to put on a wedding. But more likely you will. It's just the way this goes.
So OP, keep saving your pennies and if you're really lucky then one day you won't have to put on a wedding. But more likely you will. It's just the way this goes.
Posted on 2/25/23 at 12:23 pm to Fun Bunch
quote:
Destination wedding with only your closest friends and family.
the problem is scheduling and attendance. The bride is likely to get super butthurt if someone from the few invited doesn’t show. but hey, that’s husbands drama to live with
Posted on 2/25/23 at 12:28 pm to LSUtwolves
quote:
LSUtwolves
quote:
(No message
Aw man what did I miss
Posted on 2/25/23 at 12:33 pm to Sun God
Sonny's BBQ is a "destination" reception too
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