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re: Dad joke thread. What’s the worst part of playing tag with clowns?
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:08 am to TheArrogantCorndog
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:08 am to TheArrogantCorndog
Where do terrorist go when they die?
Everywhere
Everywhere
1
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:38 am to tk for tu juan
What did the one legged, orphaned dog say to the bartender at the old Western saloon?
I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.
I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:45 am to Breadstick Gun
How many tiny shrimp can a blue whale eat?
A krill-ion.
A krill-ion.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 4:19 am to adamau
quote:
What's the difference between a magician's wand and a policeman's club? One is for cunning stunts
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a voyeur?
One snatches watches.
What’s the difference between a joke and a fart?
One’s a shift of wit.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 4:29 am to 0x15E
quote:
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it’s “P” is silent
What if it's taking a shite?
Posted on 12/16/22 at 5:30 am to terd ferguson
What'd the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Damn
Damn
Posted on 12/16/22 at 5:41 am to Texas ellessu
Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash?
To the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump
A guy sits down at an empty bar and orders a beer. He hears a voice say, "Nice shirt there." He looks around confused, when the bartender says, "It's the peanuts, they're complimentary."
To the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump
A guy sits down at an empty bar and orders a beer. He hears a voice say, "Nice shirt there." He looks around confused, when the bartender says, "It's the peanuts, they're complimentary."
Posted on 12/16/22 at 5:46 am to tk for tu juan
Does Barbie come with Ken?
No, she comes with GI Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
No, she comes with GI Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 5:55 am to Auburn80
Did you hear Barbie is coming out with a wind-up Helen Keller Doll?
It runs into everything.
It runs into everything.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 6:03 am to partsman103
Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive?
Because she’s a woman.
Because she’s a woman.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 6:08 am to tss22h8
quote:
What did the Tower of London say to the Tower of Pisa? "I have the time and you have the inclination."
Let me help
Big Ben
Tower of London
Posted on 12/16/22 at 6:11 am to CaptainsWafer
How did Helen Keller lose her right ear? She answered the iron.
How did she lose her left ear? They called back.
How did she lose her left ear? They called back.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 6:20 am to PJinAtl
What do you call a thousand head of cattle masturbating?
Beef Stroganoff
Beef Stroganoff
Posted on 12/16/22 at 7:15 am to GeauxTigers0107
Why did the transgender man only eat vegetables?
Because he was a Herbefore!
Because he was a Herbefore!
Posted on 12/16/22 at 8:04 am to Breadstick Gun
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
The zippo is a little lighter.
The zippo is a little lighter.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 8:06 am to BestBanker
Why couldn't the chameleon change colors?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction.
Because he had a reptile dysfunction.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 8:30 am to BestBanker
What do you when you combine alcohol and literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
Tequila Mockingbird
Posted on 12/16/22 at 8:46 am to Breadstick Gun
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
He didn’t have the guts.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 8:50 am to Breadstick Gun
I’ve invented a dating app for chickens and it’s doing pretty well.
I’m not going to quit my day job or anything it’s just a way to make hens meet.
I’m not going to quit my day job or anything it’s just a way to make hens meet.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 8:57 am to JumpingTheShark
What’s the difference between kinky and freaky?
Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather. Freaky is when you use the whole bird.
Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather. Freaky is when you use the whole bird.
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