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re: Living With Your SO Before Marriage. Smart or Sin?

Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:34 am to
Posted by AlxTgr
Kyre Banorg
Member since Oct 2003
81955 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:34 am to
quote:

Smart or Sin?
Both?
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83695 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:35 am to
quote:

Do you understand, that there can't be a divorce, if there isn't a marriage? Fewer marriages, means fewer divorces...


so no, you don't understand how rates work

the argument that you should be making is that the people that previously had higher divorce rates in prior decades are simply not getting married anymore

we can argue whether or not this is good or bad on society as a whole
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
20508 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:35 am to
quote:

I get told by other people my age and people as old as my grandparents that it is a terrible sin to live under the same roof with my lady before making the commitment of marriage before God

Get out of the South bro.
The biggest sinners and thugs are part of the church
Posted by Cotten
Tennessee
Member since Jan 2018
1285 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:35 am to
Mrs. Cotten and I only dated about 9 months before getting engaged. We lived together our full ~1 year engagement. Been married 8 years this year and wouldn’t change a thing.

We also got shite on by overly religious family members; but by the time we actually tied the knot we had paid off both vehicles, her student loan and all outstanding debt besides our mortgage with the money saved from me not paying rent alone. Entering into our marriage nearly totally debt free afforded us a much different life then we would’ve had had I kept wasting money on rent just to appease others.

10/10 would recommend.
Posted by Winstonscrabfingers
Member since Oct 2021
542 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:36 am to
quote:

And what are the divorce rates in 2022 compared to 1922.

We’re in a failing, decaying culture, and y’all’s advice is “Yeah, double down on that”.



If anyone thinks about marriage they'd be an idiot not to live with another person for a few years before tying the knot.

I don't know if I'll ever get married again but I'm damn sure not going to do it without living with that person for years beforehand.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
114217 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:36 am to
quote:

You mean when women didn’t have the means or the ability to leave a marriage on their own volition? Interesting to use that timeframe knowing that.

Living together before marriage and not hastily jumping into one isn’t tearing down anyone’s culture.




Not to mention.. It wasn't until when? 1978 that it actually became illegal for a husband to rape his wife?
Posted by Swagga
504
Member since Dec 2009
16274 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:37 am to
My ex and I didn’t officially live together but she had basically moved in with me. She was a slob and didn’t do shite around the house, had we gotten married we would have been divorced within months, she drove me insane to be around constantly. Especially when I’d come home from work.

My now wife and I moved in together before marriage for 3+ years prior to actually getting married. It was a great decision and made the transition to marriage extremely easy.

I say all that to say it is absolutely idiotic to not live together prior to marriage.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32738 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:37 am to
quote:

Do you understand, that there can't be a divorce, if there isn't a marriage? Fewer marriages, means fewer divorces...

Moron.
Posted by LSUtoBOOT
Member since Aug 2012
12667 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:39 am to
Knew a couple that lived together for 20+ years, then decided to get married and it lasted less than a year.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83695 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:41 am to
that post is getting upvoted

Posted by SDVTiger
Cabo San Lucas
Member since Nov 2011
75099 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:43 am to
Yes its a must
Posted by Lima Whiskey
Member since Apr 2013
19577 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:44 am to
People who live together before marriage are more likely to end up
divorced.

I assume people who live together before are less religious, and generally more likely to divorce, which is why.
This post was edited on 3/8/22 at 1:29 pm
Posted by DownshiftAndFloorIt
Here
Member since Jan 2011
66763 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:49 am to
We did not live together before we got married and I am glad we did not.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
99905 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:50 am to
quote:

Knew a couple that lived together for 20+ years, then decided to get married and it lasted less than a year.


Did they do it because they thought it would “fix” an issue in their relationship?

That would seem to be the mechanism for divorce more so than just simply living together. Which studies don’t account for (other variables).
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
One State Solution
Member since May 2012
56016 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:51 am to
quote:

once you move in together, its harder for the couple to break up due to the commitment they have made, so couples that otherwise would have just broke up during the dating period, try to stick it out (they call this the "inertia affect), but ultimately they are just not compatible and end up divorcing

this is pretty much what Shapiro said

also weird you're being downvoted for that. everyone's a family oriented social conservative until it's time to live it, i suppose
Posted by caro81
Member since Jul 2017
5079 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:53 am to
not doing it is a grade dipshit move. living with someone changes the whole dynamic ALOT. id tell any holy rollers who preach otherwise to F off.
Posted by tommy2tone1999
St. George, LA
Member since Sep 2008
6848 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:55 am to
quote:

Salmon


quote:

a family oriented social conservative


Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83695 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:55 am to
me and my wife (going on 12 years) never lived together, but that was more to do with the fact that we lived 2 hours apart while dating/engaged

I don't have any qualms with couples moving in together and whether or not it leads to divorce, as I think other variable play a more important role in the outcomes of marriage

Posted by jbgleason
Bailed out of BTR to God's Country
Member since Mar 2012
18968 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:56 am to
quote:

Did they do it because they thought it would “fix” an issue in their relationship?

That would seem to be the mechanism for divorce more so than just simply living together. Which studies don’t account for (other variables).


I agree and one other VERY important thing.

The idiots who have a kid because they think that will help the relationship. I can tell you the opposite is true. There is nothing worse for a relationship than a little needy screaming human. You better be sure you are in it for the long haul before kicking one of those things into the group.

What I tell all people who get engaged. "Wait AT LEAST three years after marriage before anyone gets pregnant. You will have tons of stress (and fun times) in your first years of marriage. Don't add a kid to that mix. After three years, if things are going great, you can start thinking about a little one."
Posted by cwil177
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
28623 posts
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:58 am to
Smart.

Lived with the first girl I thought was marriage material, and it taught me she wasn’t. Lived with the second one and realized how easy things were with her, and now we are married.
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