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Started By
Message
re: OT dads with small kids and a job that travels, how do you like it?
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:44 am to dallastiger55
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:44 am to dallastiger55
AS a person wiht no kids id take it in a heart beat.
With kids I'd have to weigh the money vs the cost. Unless you guys are in a boat where you cant survive without the extra money I'd turn it down. Not being there for your kids is too much to give up.
With kids I'd have to weigh the money vs the cost. Unless you guys are in a boat where you cant survive without the extra money I'd turn it down. Not being there for your kids is too much to give up.
1
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:47 am to dallastiger55
quote:
20-25k raise per year but it says 50% travel. Basically every other week id be out 2-3 nights a week.
50% travel doesn't seem to jibe with only gone 2-3 nights every other week. 25K wouldn't be enough for me to be gone from my family that much unless we absolutely needed it.
I don't even think I could work my old law firm hours anymore now that I have young kids.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:53 am to Gee Grenouille
quote:
I grew up with a dad that didn’t work. Lazy POS that sat at home and waited till we all got home so he could control us.
I work offshore because that’s how I can make as much money as possible. It’s all I care about. I’ve missed all kinds of shite and i don’t care.
I am also a piece of shite.
How many kids do you have? How old?
Look, I respect a working man. We all make sacrifices for our families. Lord knows I have. I missed so much I wish I could get back now…and if I could go back and tell the old me “the money you’ll make isn’t worth the time you’ll miss”.
It cost me my marriage. Cost me time with my kids.
All the money I made wasn’t worth the price I paid, looking back.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:53 am to dallastiger55
Your wife will grow to resent you very quickly.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:56 am to Pedro
Works best when you do it for the extra money not when you need the money. See countless young guys get to where they have to work out of town and need overtime just to pay the bills. Best advice I got when I was coming up is make sure you can live off 40 hours. Don’t buy that $80k truck and $100k camper when you’re making big money. Won’t be able to afford it when you’re at the house.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 11:14 am to ItFeelsLikeIHateU
I travelled quite a bit when my son was younger, but had enough flexibility to ensure I didn't miss much.
I actually got off the road when he got to high school. I just felt like being home every day as he was beginning to transition to an adult and as he began to navigate social relationships and outside influences was critical.
I actually got off the road when he got to high school. I just felt like being home every day as he was beginning to transition to an adult and as he began to navigate social relationships and outside influences was critical.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 11:41 am to dallastiger55
Every family is definitely different. My fiancé's dad traveled for work a lot during the first 12 years of her life. He's a damn good dude but a bit awkward. Her parents divorced when she was 16 and she's struggled to maintain a quality relationship with him. It's literally the most awkward thing in the world when he gets together with his two daughters. I have to lead the conversation because they all really dont know each other.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 11:51 am to JudgeHolden
quote:
This was a cautionary tale for me.
100%
It's such a reflection of my own life. My dad wasn't around as much due to work and his own priorities growing up. Now, he has more time and wants to be around more. But some of those foundational relationship building momemts were missed so we aren't that close. I vowed to always be there for my daughter and future children. I'll never put work before them
Posted on 2/9/22 at 11:57 am to bilblues
quote:
I just felt like being home every day as he was beginning to transition to an adult and as he began to navigate social relationships and outside influences was critical.
I agree. When my kids were little, traveling was "easier." Now they all have after school things, real life issues, etc etc... it's not fair to my wife to have the burden of it all. I'll travel as needed, buy my days of disappearing all the time are behind me.
I'll miss those difficult evenings of company paid dinners and drinks, though. Hard times, lol. Don't tell the wife.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 12:48 pm to H2O Tiger
quote:
I'm the exact opposite. Put me on a plane every week where I can either relax, watch a movie, or work. Sitting in the car is just wasted working hours where you still have to work.
Im not the one who downvoted you, fwiw.. I know people like yourself who prefer air travel.. ive never liked it though, because of the hassle of getting to the airport early, going through security , waiting around some more, then trying to squeeze into the ever shrinking airplane seats.. THEN inevitability sitting next to the sickie who’s coughing up a lung (this was true for me even pre-Panny) or the crying baby.. and none of that even takes into account the delays, which seem to happen with more frequency.. …. as a control freak- i mean ‘control enthusiast’, in a car im able to control just about everything, including departure time and cabin temperature …. Different strokes i guess .
Posted on 2/9/22 at 2:22 pm to BK Lounge
I'm in a similar situation but with different caveats. I have an opportunity to slide over to our sales group. Significant pay bump. Greater than the $20k mentioned here. The catch is that you are tied to the phone and computer. It is truly a 24/7 industry. Travel would probably only be five days a month but the phone, emails, need to be tied to a computer are honestly 24/7.
My wife has a high level job so her work hours are significant. 08:30-6:00'ish sometimes.
My wife has a high level job so her work hours are significant. 08:30-6:00'ish sometimes.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 2:26 pm to TheWiz
quote:
the phone, emails, need to be tied to a computer are honestly 24/7.
frick, and I don’t say this lightly, that.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 2:28 pm to The Spleen
quote:
frick, and I don’t say this lightly, that.
Yeah, that's why I have been thinking about it for 6-8 weeks. I forgot to mention I have two children under four at home.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 2:42 pm to dallastiger55
I just took a job to work from home so I could be there for my wife and 2 boys. I used to travel one to weeks a month and the boys are getting close to middle school age. I didn’t want to miss things and regret some of the things I missed when they were really little but my biggest concern is making sure they have me around for these next 8 to 10 years.
They were starting to really get away with some shite with my wife and saw some bad attitudes starting. I decided it’s time for some old school Dad parenting now before they get too big or out of control.
They were starting to really get away with some shite with my wife and saw some bad attitudes starting. I decided it’s time for some old school Dad parenting now before they get too big or out of control.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 2:51 pm to dallastiger55
My advice, kids don't really give a shite about consumerism unless you do, you never get that time back, and it will strain your marriage and wife. 25k isn't life changing.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:04 pm to go ta hell ole miss
quote:
Four weeknights away per a month for a job making $20k v. staying in a job that is a dinosaur and will continue to dry up losing as much as $10k? Money is not everything, but you can make a a lot of memories on weeknights you are home and weekends with that extra $20-$25k. That’s two or three extra trips a year.
100pct this. My dad traveled a lot. I do, too. He would take me when he could in the summers. I loved it. You have to have a talk and explain the give/take of life. We can have a cabin or a few trips a year to the beach and a Denali, or I can be home every night and we go on vacation every other year. Take your pick.
I know my parents loved seeing us grow up and learn to walk, ride a bike, etc... That's cool. Every kid did it. You know what? It is great when I can call my dad and talk shop and review work projects.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:10 pm to jchamil
quote:
50% travel doesn't seem to jibe with only gone 2-3 nights every other week.
I am not great at math, but i agree with this take .
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:12 pm to fr33manator
There is no way in hell I could travel for work with small kids. I hate not being away from them even for a weekend.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:16 pm to The Spleen
quote:
the phone, emails, need to be tied to a computer are honestly 24/7.
frick, and I don’t say this lightly, that.
I know guys who have worked in jobs where this was the case.. mostly medical device/surgical sales, always on call.. i had one guy tell me, one time at lunch, that he had been making $300k a year at his previous job, and even at that income level, he said it wasnt worth it.. as mentioned above, he said it destroyed his marriage, he became an alcoholic, etc.. now the most ive ever made was like half that amount- and part of me thinks I’d like to try that life, worst case is I’d do it for a few years, burn out and retire early.. but when enough people say it’s not worth it, you tend to believe them.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:27 pm to BK Lounge
I guess it would depend on how often you’re actually contacted on your “off” hours. If it was a once a week thing, I could maybe deal. If it was multiple times a week and constantly ate into my weekends, hell no.
But I value my free time. I value it so much I just took a pay cut to take a job where I leave work at the office every day when I leave at 4:30. No after hours calls, very few late days past 5, no work to take home with me, no weekends. It’s been one of the best professional decisions I’ve ever made.
But I value my free time. I value it so much I just took a pay cut to take a job where I leave work at the office every day when I leave at 4:30. No after hours calls, very few late days past 5, no work to take home with me, no weekends. It’s been one of the best professional decisions I’ve ever made.
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