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Started By
Message
re: OT dads with small kids and a job that travels, how do you like it?
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:29 pm to dallastiger55
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:29 pm to dallastiger55
My dad worked offshore.
Made bookoo money but i saw him for 2 weeks every other month.
Don't do it.
Made bookoo money but i saw him for 2 weeks every other month.
Don't do it.
0
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:47 pm to BK Lounge
The only good reason there is to work like a dog 24/7 is if you are building your own business. Doing so as an employee is never worth it.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 3:53 pm to The Spleen
I think the first question is will it improve your family's life in some way. 20-25k doesn't seem like it necessarily will, but maybe you have a major need (private school, etc.) it would fill.
I have two buddies who travel a lot (not sales, but heavy travel) and I don't know that they like it, but I don't think their families are suffering. Both enable mom to stay home. So if it were something like that, where you'd miss some games but it freed up their mom full time, I'd say it's a good trade off.
If it is purely money and it won't change your family's circumstances for the better within a few years, doesn't seem worth it to me.
I have two buddies who travel a lot (not sales, but heavy travel) and I don't know that they like it, but I don't think their families are suffering. Both enable mom to stay home. So if it were something like that, where you'd miss some games but it freed up their mom full time, I'd say it's a good trade off.
If it is purely money and it won't change your family's circumstances for the better within a few years, doesn't seem worth it to me.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 4:49 pm to dallastiger55
Turn the page
- Bob Seger
- Bob Seger
Posted on 2/9/22 at 5:45 pm to dallastiger55
4 to 6 days a month is not bad, would definitely do it.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 5:46 pm to dallastiger55
Well, 2-3 nights every other week is not a bad trade for the extra $25K. The kids are old enough to adjust. If the wife is on board, I would take it. I was gone half the time when mine were just toddlers. They did just fine in the long run. Sure, there were some rough evenings & phone calls, but nothing unexpected. The homecomings were great ! In many ways, it was great for the relationship.
Male the move imo.
Male the move imo.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 6:07 pm to dallastiger55
Where you work?
Posted on 2/9/22 at 6:31 pm to dallastiger55
Just turned down a job today with a significant sign on bonus and a little better pay, but it was in the middle of BFE. It was about an hour and ten minutes commute both ways. I’d rather spend two hours with my two little kids at home than make more money and be sitting in my truck for two hours. Your time is what you value it at. If you’d rather drive and make a little more money, more power to ya. You know what is the best decision for you. Good luck.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 6:41 pm to Dave_O
Man I’m 48 and can say spend the time with the fam. I just lost my dad last year and it puts time into perspective big time. I have never missed a tee ball game, karate tournament, school event etc.
How much of that $25k are you going to net? Taxes (20%), contribution to 401k (5%), maybe puts you at an extra $1500 a month net. Just not enough IMO.
I can also tell you 1000% you need to sit down with your wife and make damn sure she’s on board. And then make sure again. And have some very deep conversations about it. If she’s not 1000% on board it’s not going to end well.
How much of that $25k are you going to net? Taxes (20%), contribution to 401k (5%), maybe puts you at an extra $1500 a month net. Just not enough IMO.
I can also tell you 1000% you need to sit down with your wife and make damn sure she’s on board. And then make sure again. And have some very deep conversations about it. If she’s not 1000% on board it’s not going to end well.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 6:51 pm to Im4datigers
A couple days every other week is nothing.
I used to travel during the week and home on the weekends. I’m doing a couple days every other week now.
When I’m home I see my kids for an hour in the morning and a couple hours at night. I’m mostly telling them to eat get ready bathe go to sleep etc I wouldn’t call it quality time.
I spend my entire weekends with them and don’t spend any time hunting or fishing like a lot of other people while I like being home I don’t mind traveling
I used to travel during the week and home on the weekends. I’m doing a couple days every other week now.
When I’m home I see my kids for an hour in the morning and a couple hours at night. I’m mostly telling them to eat get ready bathe go to sleep etc I wouldn’t call it quality time.
I spend my entire weekends with them and don’t spend any time hunting or fishing like a lot of other people while I like being home I don’t mind traveling
Posted on 2/9/22 at 7:15 pm to BhamBlazeDog
quote:
can't speak from my own job experience, but my dad traveled about the same when I was little. He was involved as much as he could, and there may have been times when I wasn't a big fan of it. But I can tell you that now I understand why my dad had to do it, and even in my teenage years, I was beyond appreciative of what he did.
Same here. I had to travel a good bit until COVID shut that part down.
My dad traveled a lot when I was a teenager and it was hard not having him around. Sometimes he’d be gone weeks at a time. But it provided me and my siblings a great life and now as a grown man, I completely understand what he sacrificed for us. Now at the same time, I want to be home everyday and see my family
Posted on 2/9/22 at 7:25 pm to Floyd Dawg
quote:
I'm walking away at the end of next week. Missed too many things at home and I'm not comfortable with it anymore.
Congrats on the decision
Posted on 2/9/22 at 7:26 pm to dallastiger55
quote:
Basically every other week id be out 2-3 nights a week.
You and the family will get used to this faster than you think. That's losing maybe 24-30 hours of "family time" a month when you take out work/school and sleep hours. The quotes are there because anyone who says they spend every hour outside of work/sleep doing quality things with the family are liars. So factor all that in, and you missing 2 hours every other Mon-Tues/Wed won't ruin your kids or drastically change the family dynamic. Even moreso if your travel was flexible during the week so you could adjust for special events.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 7:37 pm to GRTiger
quote:
Even moreso if your travel was flexible during the week so you could adjust for special events.
Think this hits the nail on the head right here. How much flexibility do you have on when you can travel. If you are able to plan your work schedule around games, school events etc then it makes it much more doable than having a set in stone work travel schedule that you can’t tweak.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 8:21 pm to dallastiger55
Time miss with your kids is something that you will never get back. I'm telling you this from personal experience. I have 3 kids and I travel for over 18 years and made good money doing it, but missed out on so many of my kids first. Finally decided to stop and stay home with my family and it was the best decision I ever made. I took a pay cut, but it was worth every second I have been home. Realized that money did not make my legacy, that is made by my kids.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 8:47 pm to dallastiger55
4 to 6 nights a month for $25k more a year? Suck it up dude. I have been working 7 12 hr night shifts a month for 25 yrs and now I'm paying cash for my daughter to attend med school. You are the dad, not the babysitter. Do your best for your kids.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 9:51 pm to dallastiger55
I had a job like that before I had kids and knowing what I know now, I would NEVER take that job. I value my time with the kids way too much. They’ll be thankful too!
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:13 pm to dallastiger55
Overtime
Well growing up, daddy worked his fingers to the bone,
He put food on the table and the bills got paid,
But I remember, he was gone much more than he was home,
Wonder if, what he missed was worth the money made,
And It wasn’t that he didn’t care,
Just most the time he wasn’t there,
and I never understood just what he did,
How everything is never enough,
How to carry all the weight is rough,
A father trades his time providing for his kids,
But now that I’ve got two to raise up of my own,
I understand he gave up more than I’d ever known,
And I won’t ever fault him, ‘cause he did the best he could,
Working late and spending weekends, hauling dirt and chopping wood,
‘Cause of him we got to travel, from the mountains to the sands,
And I learned the worth of work, from the sweat of my old man,
No I might not live the life that daddy did,
But cause of him I’ve got a chance to raise my kids,
And I thank god I get to come home every night,
And sing them lullabies ‘fore I turn out the light,
After all my travels I have come to find,
That the time I got with them, I’d take it over,
Over all the overtime.
Well growing up, daddy worked his fingers to the bone,
He put food on the table and the bills got paid,
But I remember, he was gone much more than he was home,
Wonder if, what he missed was worth the money made,
And It wasn’t that he didn’t care,
Just most the time he wasn’t there,
and I never understood just what he did,
How everything is never enough,
How to carry all the weight is rough,
A father trades his time providing for his kids,
But now that I’ve got two to raise up of my own,
I understand he gave up more than I’d ever known,
And I won’t ever fault him, ‘cause he did the best he could,
Working late and spending weekends, hauling dirt and chopping wood,
‘Cause of him we got to travel, from the mountains to the sands,
And I learned the worth of work, from the sweat of my old man,
No I might not live the life that daddy did,
But cause of him I’ve got a chance to raise my kids,
And I thank god I get to come home every night,
And sing them lullabies ‘fore I turn out the light,
After all my travels I have come to find,
That the time I got with them, I’d take it over,
Over all the overtime.
Posted on 2/9/22 at 10:51 pm to dallastiger55
I was gone to Texas every week, sometimes 2-3 days at a time. Travelled all over the country and loved it. That all changed when I had to leave my sons 1st birthday party early to drive to a job 8 hours away. Got there at 2 in the morning and was searching for jobs as soon as I woke up. That entire drive sucked.
If I were single or was still married and didn’t have children I would probably still be doing that, but I could never live with myself missing out on my child’s life.
If I were single or was still married and didn’t have children I would probably still be doing that, but I could never live with myself missing out on my child’s life.
Posted on 2/10/22 at 12:12 am to dallastiger55
I couldn’t do it
The days I don’t get to see my kids because of work, I feel like I’ve completely wasted a day on this earth.
The days I don’t get to see my kids because of work, I feel like I’ve completely wasted a day on this earth.
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