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re: Two hundred chimpanzees in Uganda are embroiled in a ‘civil war’

Posted on 4/10/26 at 11:05 am to
Posted by BigDropper
Member since Jul 2009
8622 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 11:05 am to
Page 1?

Edit: damn... missed it!
This post was edited on 4/10/26 at 11:06 am
Posted by Shexter
Prairieville
Member since Feb 2014
20775 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 11:18 am to
quote:

How do chimps kill each other?


This may be the start of a great argument for gun rights.
Posted by wadewilson
Member since Sep 2009
41542 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 11:46 am to
quote:


I recommend y’all check out chimp empire.


No thanks, I'd rather not go to Atlanta again.
Posted by TheFonz
Somewhere in Louisiana
Member since Jul 2016
23263 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:05 pm to
Posted by WhiteMandingo
Member since Jan 2016
7925 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:07 pm to
It's starting to make sense.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
With populists, expect populism
Member since Jan 2004
476598 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:13 pm to
quote:

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs,
They forge a blade,
And where there's one
They're bound to divide it,
Right in two.
Right in two.

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey.
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs.
They make a club.
And beat their brother, down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

Repugnant is a creature
who would squander the ability
to lift an eye to heaven
conscious of its fleeting time here.
Posted by AUstar
Member since Dec 2012
19612 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:13 pm to
quote:

Much like in a civil war, the group fractured into two. Then one faction began killing their former group mates on the other side,


In 160 years, the Chimp descendants will start threads on their version of the OT with titles like "160 years ago today, the first shots were fired at Fort Uganda."
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
72121 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:16 pm to
Central need to stop being such bitches and take the fight to the west.
Posted by UncleDuck
Member since Feb 2024
75 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:21 pm to
Sounds like they were disrespected.
Posted by Banned
Member since Feb 2026
331 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:30 pm to
quote:

And Mitani is “rarely surprised by what they do,” Sandel adds.


The fatigue is real here too.
Posted by TheRealTigerHorn
Member since Jun 2023
389 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:31 pm to
quote:

so at least some of them also may have been victims of Western chimpanzee aggression.


So, economic sanctions first - we cut off their supply of bananas.

If that doesn't work, we have the CIA supply arms to the Centrals.

Then later on we'll end up having to bomb the Western clan.
Posted by ned nederlander
Member since Dec 2012
5895 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:35 pm to
The ooh oohs vs the aah aahs.

We said never again!
Posted by thejuiceisloose
Member since Nov 2018
6385 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:37 pm to
The CIA is funding both sides of this


Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
74832 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:40 pm to
quote:

in Uganda
A man-made construct, chimpanzees don’t care what we call a specific patch of ground.

To understand this event, one must think like a Chimpanzee.

Posted by Shexter
Prairieville
Member since Feb 2014
20775 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 12:50 pm to
quote:

A man-made construct, chimpanzees don’t care what we call a specific patch of ground


Until....

Posted by BamaCoaster
God's Gulf
Member since Apr 2016
7029 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 1:05 pm to
Space Odyssey and Kubrick showed us this timeline 50 yrs ago.
Posted by Seeker
Member since Jul 2011
2209 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 1:08 pm to
quote:

The clusters began to separate geographically and socially. By 2017, the two groups occupied entirely distinct territories and patrolled their borders against outsiders. The following year, deadly violence ensued.

Between 2018 and 2024, the researchers witnessed Western adults kill seven males and 17 infants from the Central group, the paper reports. An additional 14 adolescent or adult Central males disappeared during that time, and their bodies were never recovered—these males hadn’t shown signs of illness, so at least some of them also may have been victims of Western chimpanzee aggression. Sandel’s team has documented at least two more attacks on Central males since the data analysis for this study ended in 2024.


This isn’t a war. It is a one sided massacre.
Posted by DMAN1968
Member since Apr 2019
13226 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 1:19 pm to
quote:

scientists estimate that chimpanzee communities split, on average, every 500 years.

I'm just trying to grasp this part.

How the hell would they know that?

I'm also wondering which side wears red and which side wears blue.
Posted by Sofaking2
Member since Apr 2023
21167 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 1:23 pm to
Posted by Upperdecker
St. George, LA
Member since Nov 2014
33504 posts
Posted on 4/10/26 at 1:25 pm to
Admins already told me I’m on my last strike. I’m sitting this one out.
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