re: Today’s the day I’ve been dreading for months

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they had sex on the first night

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Nice

Kids????
When is the last time
She gave you some????

While I think op is trolling..

I spent about three days walking around the house looking for something that wasn't there.

Finally said screw it, packed all of her shite and started dropping it off at her mom's. Her mom's boyfriend, an old drunk who has likely never said a wise thing to anyone in his life gave me a great piece of advice.

"There's gonna come a moment when she realizes she fricked up, and at that same moment you're gonna realize you're better off and laugh in her face."

Ol baw was right.

35 days into seperation, she begged to come back. I told her papers were filed for divorce stating we had lived apart for over a year and they'd be delivered to her in the next week or two along with a bill for 50% of prep and filing costs.

She signed it and it was finished 45 days in. Local clerks office refunded me my portion.

By that point I had cleared the poison out of my balls and was well moved on. The day I decided I was done with tinder and bumble... I met my current wife. It was unexpected, not really wanted, but the best thing that could have happened.

Men fail upwards.

Randomly getting calls because she isn't making credit card payments five years later makes me giggle like a kid.

Help her move the frick out of YOUR house.

Screw the bar, go get legal counsel immediately.

As stated:
1. Get a lawyer NOW!
2. Get a gym membership and USE IT.
3. She is going to try and screw you out of everything, be aware of this fact. She is the enemy, protect yourself.
4. Be strong, you can do it!!
5. This is a "Blessing in disguise."
6. You WILL meet someone better.
7. Church

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Old lady told me she doesn’t love me and she’s in love with a guy she met at work,

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Brother...I feel your pain, truly and deeply.

There's no words that will make it better, only time. But trust me. Life goes on, love springs anew, and YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

Don't let the darkness creep in. I know it did for me. I almost made the worst mistake, listening to the dark and twisties. Told myself that the kids and the world would be better off without me. Sat there with a gun in the September sun, not knowing why, or how.

No note. No reason. Just cold steel for a cold heart.

Then, the gun got warm, and I told myself that I couldn't do it like That. With a warm gun? Crazy.

I know now it was God that stayed my fool hand. Wish I'd listened to him then.

But let me tell you, if you hang on and push through the darkness, it will get better.
Just keep walking. If you can't walk, Crawl. And when you can't crawl, holler out for a friend, or even a stranger.

We'll drag your arse out.

Because a lot of us, we've been there. And I'll tell you, as Will others, that there's a lot of life worth living ahead. There's birthdays, and Christmases. There's watching your kids grow up. Guiding them. They NEED THEIR DAD .

There's gonna be tears, sure. Let them come. There's also going to be laughter, and cheers.

Hell, I never would have gotten to see 2019, or the 23 CWS championship.

There's a lot of life to live and a lot of love to give. And receive. You'll find love again. Stronger and truer and better.

This is just a lesson learned. If you need anything, reach out. I'll listen.

I know there are those on here that were here for me in some of my darkest days.

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I’m just at a loss for words boys. I love her.

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You came to the OT for advice and comments, so here's mine:

I can help you out right there with that quote.

I know exactly how you are feeling, although I have not gone through a divorce. YOU have to love yourself and know how badass YOU are to love her properly, and she clearly does not deserve it. I know you love her, but you have to understand the source of your feelings for her to realize you are -far- better off as of this moment.

You do not see it now, and you probably won't soon but... you have just been forced into the better half of your life.

As far as DEALING with that shite you're in for now, the most critical thing is to stay IN MOTION. Don't sulk, don't sit alone for one second more than you need to. Keeping your subconscious busy while being active is pretty much the whole game.

The example you set for your sons right now couldn't be of more importance. How you behave to them about your wife. What you choose to tell them and not tell them. How strong you are, and how you will expect them to be just as strong if ever they face the same situation. Etc.

Go to church if that's in your wheelhouse. Get outside and be around creation. Have a few beers. Go build something.

MOVE ON. She IS NOT WORTH your efforts if she did that as you described it.

I imagine she liked being called "Old Lady".

First thing first. Whatever city your are in make a list of the top 10 - 15 divorce attorneys and go in for an hour to talk about your case.

That will tie the best ones up and make them conflicted for her to use.

Second, you have to decide to move on and take it from experience the emotional toll is the highest. Don't let her take that from you as well.

Third, document the hell out of everything. Do not accept her word on anything. Get it all in writing - email at a minimum.

Fourth, be warned the courts are already in her favor.

Good luck.

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First thing first. Whatever city your are in make a list of the top 10 - 15 divorce attorneys and go in for an hour to talk about your case.

That will tie the best ones up and make them conflicted for her to use.

Second, you have to decide to move on and take it from experience the emotional toll is the highest. Don't let her take that from you as well.

Third, document the hell out of everything. Do not accept her word on anything. Get it all in writing - email at a minimum.

Fourth, be warned the courts are already in her favor.

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