re: Therapy: Make things better or worse?

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Found the therapist

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I am not a therapist, but I wholeheartedly believe in therapy. Mental health and well-being is just as important as one's physical well-being.

I used to believe that other people in my lives were the problem. I was wrong. Furthermore, I was the problem, but I was also the solution. There are no quick fix solutions in therapy. It takes time, repetition, and consistency to build new productive habits.

I found a great therapist, and he called me out on my bullshite. I consider him a friend, as we will talk/text outside the office now.

I have the rare ability to not give a frick about what happened in the past. The only path in life is behind you. I’m gonna keep moving forward, there ain’t no looking back.

Not sure what you expected after “several weeks,” but I’d say most of the time, it gets worse before it gets better. Seeing a therapist about “things” in your life and having others come up is 100% normal. You don’t just go to therapy and talking about those few specific things and be “cured.” Took a long time to develop those things and takes a long time to work on them….
Having known quite a few people go to therapy for a bunch of different reasons, My few thoughts on Therapy:

- you will get out of it what you put into it
-it’s tough and gets worse before it getters better
-if you stick with it, you will be much better in the long run
-even after you feel “fixed,” you should still see them once a month or once every couple months to continue your training and well-being

I’ve seen a female therapist going on 9 years now. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I am someone who fully believes in mental health and I feel therapy is a way to exercise that health.

I originally went due to Dad problems. I disowned him because he was a drunk, and it was hard for me, but now I discuss everything with her. Even when things are going well, I still try to go at least once a month.

It’s worth it, but you’re only going to get what you put into it. If you do it half arse expect half arse results. I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I’m not going to waste my time and hers.

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you’re only going to get what you put into it. If you do it half arse expect half arse results.

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What exactly is it that you’re talking about putting into it? What does that mean? More money?

Who/what decides what is half-assed and if the results are worth the while?

EMDR therapy was good for me. Couples therapy was a disaster since the wife focused on feelings over actions. So, I kind of split-even...

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If you trust your wife to make good decisions

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Respectfully, my wife married me, so I'm not sure the trust in her decision making skills can ever be repaired

Therapy can definitely make things better. Just make sure the therapist’s values align with you and your wife’s values. Some of these “therapists” promote do what makes you feel good even to the extent of cheating.

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Wife recently started seeing a female therapist once a week to talk about things in her life that are challenging for her.

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she clearly has more things that she needs to deal with than you are aware of if she's going once a week.

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but after several weeks of therapy it seems new issues (unrelated to the original reason for going) have been put in her mind.

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again, family of origin issues and ACE's have a greater impact on how one responds to the greater world around them than you may realize.

If she is genuinely trying to heal from her past wounds/trauma/etc, you should allow her time to do that. Support her emotionally and don't make it all about you.

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Very frustrating.

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yes, it is.

I hope your wife heals to the best of her ability and I hope you will be a safe place for her emotionally as she does so.

My experience….women seeing a therapist makes them believe they are therapist. They don’t concentrate on themselves. They take in what the therapist says and puts that on others in their life. Instead of working on themselves, they come home and want to be your therapist. Bitch, I don’t need a therapist.

Also, dated a couple of would be dimes back in my single days. Both saw a therapist on a weekly basis even tho they prob didn’t need to. It made them pick apart everything and everyone in their lives. There was a reason they were 35, single, and never really had long term relationships.