re: the most embarrassed you’ve ever been

Sunday night church youth group. I had sidled up next to the hot girl and was about to put the moves on her. During the closing prayer what I thought was going to be a Silent Sam turned out to be a staccato machine gun fart. I slinked off and waited outside for my mother to pick me up.

You know when I saw it was an old thread I wondered if I had posted it before. I guess it scarred me for life.

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When I was in podiatry school

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Sorry you couldn’t get into med school. Did you consider taking up welding?

I definitely had the reputation as the gassy student amongst my Jr high teachers.

My freshman year of high school was the first year freshmen went to Hahnville.

Had a hot girl who we all knew about from another jr high sitting to my right. And a friend sitting behind me. Of course we’re on those desks with cubbies underneath so the acoustics were a match made in heaven.

I feel that rumble and I look over my shoulder and told my boy I feel it. He starts giggling and says don’t do it. Look who’s sitting next to you. I said I’ll let a little squeaky whiner out. He laughs harder and says don’t do it.

Of course, I do it. And as soon as he hears the the first squeak he starts laughing, which prompts me to laugh, which thrust the gas out harder and the acoustical seat does the rest. It was a loud rumbling drum roll while I was laughing. I could do nothing but put my head down and bury my face and just crack up for probably a minute. When I stopped laughing, face still down, it was quiet. And I got nervous. I slowly lifted my head and there was a hall pass/bathroom pass on my desk. I grabbed it and jetted out.


I wish this story ended with me banging the hot chic to my right. But it doesn’t. Fast forward about 30 years I saw her at a daiquiri place in luling working and she was rough. My wife now is 100 times better and doesn’t get offended when I shite myself. She just laughs and says you’re gross.


eta: as the girl in this story was telling me this, it felt embarrassing at first, and then i realized, don't care had sex.

had been away from the hometown about 12 years. moved back......playing softball in a league with some of the fellas i played high school ball with. we all go out for drinks afterwards. a few of them decided to be adults and leave (they were married).

me and another guy decide to hit up an even worse hole in the wall down the road. some random guy is giving out shots like Halloween candy. so, we drank up. a while later, and seeing triple, i figured it was a good time to leave.........and as i'm walking out i see this blonde in my peripheral. so like any horny drunk, i go straight to her and say something that was probably not smooth, and likely offensive...to which she replies, honey i'm married, but my friend over at the bar is not.

i look at the bar, and there she is......we all have them......the girl a year older than you, huge crush all through your youth, hot when we were young, hot in Jr high and in high school, you were scared of her, she dated older guys, you never thought of approaching her, and she's there, looking great in her 30's...........so, i bee line right to her.

the embarrassing part came a few weeks later. we went and met some friends for drinks and it was just her and i there first. she said, you don't even remember what you told me that night you approached me do you? i said, i'd be lying if i did.

she said i sat next to her, re-acquainted myself with her, as it really had been 15-20 years since we had seen each other, and she said as were talking, catching up, i placed my hand around the back of her neck, drew her close to me, looked her in the eyes and said "how many times have we made love"........to which she replied, none........and my response was, THATS WHAT YOU THINK!!

hey, it worked.

Never saw this thread in real time but I got you to 340 likes whit. Don't cry

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one time i was invited to a baby shower... i didn’t know these were rich folk in bossier city... i was terribly under dressed and out of place

my gift was a $10 McDonald’s gift card that said “baby’s first happy meal”

they opened it in front of the entire party

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This is a pretty solid OP

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Never saw this thread in real time but I got you to 340 likes whit. Don't cry

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whit, how often in your real life do you think of that episode?

I think of it now at least weekly and it didn’t even happen to me.

PS: thanks for the laugh every time I do think of it.

Kinda dumb now, but really bad at the time. 6th grade a new kid moved to town into the neighborhood right next to mine. He and I hit off almost instantly and did dumb kid stuff all the time. That summer, we were inseparable. His mom was always taking us to the movies, the pool, or just out running errands. She was very pretty and I had a bit of a crush on her, as much as a stupid 11 year old kid can have on a 30-something mom. I never told him but must have told someone who told him. First week or so of 7th grade she’s taking us to soccer practice asking how school is going and if we had our eye on any cute girls. Friend tells her I probably don’t because I want to marry her. I was in the backseat and wanted to crawl under the seat and she kept looking at me in the rear view mirror. I had to have been 100 different shades of red. I don’t think the car had come to a complete stop at the soccer fields when I bolted from it. We started hanging out less after that and they moved away several months later.

My mom walking in on a girlfriend giving me a BJ my senior year of high school.

Got real weird, real fast.

She wouldn't even look at me for weeks.

My dad found the whole thing comical.