re: the most embarrassed you’ve ever been

A girl broke up with me when I was a freshman and I called her mom crying and asking her to help patch things up and that I loved her and her daughter. She laughed at me and blocked our number on caller ID. Then slammed the door in my mom's face when my mom went with me to her house to ask her to please reconsider. After that the family moved to another city and changed their name.

Why be embarrassed. You should have been proud.

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At work, I went to microwave some ramen noodles and i spiced it them up with some extra red pepper...I went to microwave it but i forgot to put the water in it...2/3 minutes i destroyed the work microwave.

The halls stunk so much people had to leave the office and we opened all the doors to air out the smell. It smelled bad for 3 days

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My oldest kid did that. I think we may have just thrown the microwave away. That stench is awful. The only thing I can compare it to is chemo dumps mixed with Febreze.

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I was in front of my 8th grade class, naked...

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So you're a teacher.

This was 8-9 years ago but still super vivid memory:

Had a planned first date with a girl I met in class, this was freshman year at LSU. The plan was to head to class then grab some lunch at that sushi place on Burbank afterwards.

Well, leaving out of Lockett to head to the parking lot I felt a big rumble in my stomach and tried to let out a silent fart. That silent fart turned into me liquid diarrhea blasting my boxers. They were totally soaked. I immediately told her I had to run to the bathroom real quick, ran into Middleton, stripped in the bathroom stall and threw my completely shite soaked boxers on the floor and cleaned myself up. Went to lunch and we ended up dating for 6 months after that. I never told her about the boxer incident.

I still feel incredibly guilty for whoever it was that had to clean that stall up...

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One of my greatest fears is that one day i will accidentally type someones name into the status bar instead of the search bar and submit it without knowing.

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My dad did this when he was new to Facebook. He was trying to look up my cousin, and had my cousins name as his Facebook status for about a day.

Not the most embarrassed, but for a second grader. I ripped a fart in church (school mass) that bounced off that wood pew.
Teacher glared at me.

Pussy lol

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Here's your winner right here:

Had a ski trip to Breckinridge back in 1990, but my friend and I were so excited we just couldn't wait that long. He and I decided spur of the moment to hit Ober Gatlinburg while we had a break from school. I said, "Shouldn't we call and see what the conditions are first?" He said they make artificial snow so there's year-round skiing. We borrowed my dad's van and headed out.

The next morning it wasn't cold at all, but I told him that I had been skiing before and it is always way colder at the top of the mountains. We were staying about a half mile from the ski lodge, so we decided to walk there from the hotel and left fully dressed with our ski bibs, gloves, goggles, hats. etc. We left the hotel early, so we walked into McDonald's for breakfast on the way. Everyone else was in shorts and t-shirts, while we were decked out in full ski regalia. Got a lot of funny looks walking down the street too.

Finally we walk on over to the ski lodge, and by then there's a light drizzle. We walk through the entrance, and the place is completely empty except for a lone janitor cleaning the floors.

Me: "Are we too early? What time do y'all open?"

Janitor: "For what?"

Me: "Skiing."

Him: "Skiing? It's 60 degrees and raining."

Me: "I thought y'all had artificial snow."

Him: "It has to be cold to make snow."

The walk back to the hotel in those ski bibs was the longest walk of my life. The 600 mile drive home was even longer.

The highlight of the 24 hour trip was watching Chris Jackson & LSU vs. Loyola Marymount in that epic 1990 game when we first got to the hotel.

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Other than whit’s this one always cracks me up the most

Freshman year of college, first semester.
I’m a pledge in a fraternity.
First house party exchange. Pledges picks up the sorority pledges. I have 3 girls in my car. Girl that sits in the passenger seat is very talkative. We get to the frat house and us pledges have an hour with the sorority pledges before the actives from both houses join the party. The girl in my passenger seat and I hit it off. Throughout the night we drink, dance and party while moving our separate ways at times. The exchange is ending and I ask her to go to a bar with me for a few more drinks. She replied “Let’s go back to your apartment.” Now I know it’s on. We also hit it up quite a few times during the semester.
Fast forward to next semester. Second exchange of the year was that sorority. I see a second semester pledge with that girl during the evening. She left him for a few. I tell him that he is going to get laid because she’s easy. His reply to me was, “What are you talking about dude? That’s my girlfriend.” I play it of as I’m only “F’in with you.”