The government’s keeping track of what people get stuck in their butts —

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In addition to numerous sex toys — including a 24-inch-long dildo — the highlights include:
Nails
Screws and nails
Baseball (Reason given: “to see what it felt like.”)
Uncooked pasta
Egg
Dog chew toy
Dryer sheet
Sandal
Door knob
Marbles
Eyeglasses
Rock
Beard clippers wrapped in plastic (Reason given: “was feeling constipated for two days,”)
Turkey baster
Plastic cleanser bottle full of liquid
Shampoo bottle (Reason given: “slipped in the shower.”)
Shampoo bottle (Reason given: “was bored.”)
Lubricant bottle
Enema bottle
Aerosol can
Dental pick
Wine stopper
Corn cob holder
Highlighter
Invisible marker
Two pencils
Magic wand toy
7-inch dildo and pliers (used to try to remove dildo)
Broken piece of butt plug and tweezers (used to try to remove butt plug piece)
Film canister
Battery-powered light
Flashlight
Plastic coat hanger with outside of hanger cut off so he could drive to ER
Penny
Light bulb, glass side first (The bulb “got sucked up” due to “suction effect.”)
Vape pen
Corncob-style pipe
Rubber gasket
Piece of nose hair trimmer
Rectangular travel toothbrush
Baton
Hair tie

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