re: the dating apps aren't cutting it for me in terms of meeting women

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You have 100% come to the right place for this query

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Exactly.

OP I'll tickle your pickle for $27.

Brother im going to be honest, if you aren't ugly you will not have issues.

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I feel like the era of dating apps has passed. It was once a treasure trove and you could legit meet up with a chick that night if you matched at lunchtime, but that was 10+ years ago.

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I guess this must be true, based on what I am reading here.

I divorced in 2011 and soon afterwards got on eHarmony and then Match. Definitely got my money's worth in terms of dates, but the discouragement came from realizing women like to portray themselves in a certain way online, which is often not their own reality. And 90% were just off a bad divorce and talked about their ex way too much. I was about to give up on dating sites when I met my future wife on Match.

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hinge makes me feel inferior. like i mean no one responds. not even to the stupid weekly rose i get. haha.

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TL;DR at the bottom. I know I responded already but wanted to follow up — this way of thinking is a mistake. I see dudes make this mistake constantly and it’s so easily avoidable. Dudes feel so insecure on dating apps and it’s because hot women don’t respond to them, or the attractive ones don’t respond… whatever. Don’t go down this road.

It’s important to remember that Hinge is the ultimate numbers game. If you’re decent-looking and confident, you’ll do fine in real life. Don’t limit yourself to Hinge. shite, just hit on the chick in line at a coffee shop. She’s probably bored as frick, give her something to not be bored. Or the one at the register. Don’t have expectations. Do it confidently. Bring something to the table, whether it’s a joke, compliment, fun fact, whatever… Who cares if you don’t get a number out of it, you might have dodged a bullet anyway, do it confidently and at the very least you’ll make their day. You could do it 100 times a day if you want. Who’s gonna stop you? There is no down side. Zero fricks given.

On Hinge they are put on a pedestal that they aren’t actually on in real life. Do not put them on a pedestal. They are human beings. And something I’ve learned about women, regardless of attractiveness, they are insecure as frick. Some of them are literally just on there for validation because they think they suck at life and often times they really do.

To stand out, pay for unlimited messages and write something memorable. Generic messages won’t get noticed. If you don’t get responses, it’s often because of the sheer volume of messages, not your worth.

Women’s attractiveness is so temporary and fleeting. Once they hit their 30s their attractiveness drops tremendously, and exponentially in late 30s and 40s. Women know this, they know that their physical attractiveness is their biggest asset when getting approached by men, and seeing as it has an early expiration date, this is the biggest universal insecurity women have. They’re not above you so stop making them feel that way. Their biological clock is ALWAYS ticking.

Men, on the other hand, tend to improve with age and have better dating prospects as they get older. You gotta see women on Hinge as just mere mortals with early expiration dates. You don’t see many 50 year old women with 25 year old good looking lawyers.

TL;DR — don’t let Hinge’s numbers game affect your self-worth. Dudes get insecure on dating apps because of all the hot women that don’t respond. Whether you’re looking for arm candy or something more meaningful, don’t put women on a pedestal. Attractive women are common, they are a dime a dozen, and their biggest insecurity is that their biological clock is always ticking and they decline faster than you think. Dating advantages shift to men as they age.

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Around 2016, all I could get was fat chicks and single moms. Fortunately, I met my wife in 2016.

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So you married a fat single mom ?

It is not that difficult. Go on multiple apps... Be persistent. Cast a wide net. Adjust your expectations. There are plenty of women out there.

To be honest, I got the most responses from women when I put "not looking for anything serious" in my bio. It's like it drove them crazy. They'd say something like "let me know if you decide to get serious". It's a game.

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Aren't the women on these apps mostly chasing the top 10% of men? It's terrible for an average dude to be on these apps. The average woman doesn't want the average guy on these apps. They're still chasing the top % of men. Get out and meet women the old fashioned way.

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Women on these apps are looking for a unicorn or an ego boost. They're significantly more snobby on apps than IRL. This is something that often gets lost in the dating apps conversation. The way women filter guys on apps is totally different than the way they filter IRL. If you spend enough time in public there are all sorts of couples that probably would never exist had they originally interacted through a stupid dating app.

Dating apps are the worst thing to ever happen to western relationships. They're horribly inhuman and benefit only a tiny subset of people but even that subset suffers from the plethora of opportunities and fails to be satisfied with a relationship (i.e. women/men will leave relationships quicker the easier it is to find a new one).


And, in the end, the shallow criteria based looksmatch is a deeply unsatisfying basis when pursuing a long term outcome. People get old, or you get used to anyone's looks/money in due time as well.

Make shallow connections, get shallow relationship, jump to the next shallow relationship.

Dating apps are a drug and/or a drag.

We didn't have apps back in my day. I met plenty of women.

I heard Facebook dating is popular. It’s free and don’t have to pay any extra.

Bro it's not the software, it's the geography. You live in a county with some resorts and some suburbs of a midsize city. Consider spending weekends in a bigger city or working remotely if you can and living in a bigger city.

if that's not an option, get really social. Join a gym, car club, running club, heck join like twenty clubs. Maybe get a side hustle.

Also consider the proper use of a dating app is not "finding Mrs. Right", it's "finding someone to have coffee or a beer with". Once you secure a in-person meeting, go down to a local bar or coffee shop and have some repeat conversations. "where are you from" "where did you go to school" "do you like to cook/read/travel". Blaming a dating app for not finding you the perfect woman is like blaming a hammer for not building a house.