re: Teach your kids to be strong. Friend of one of my kids committed suicide.

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I'm going to disagree with you there.

We didn't have internet bullying until I was almost out of college and I'm a millennial.

We also didn't have cell phones where someone can bully you all day with.

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I might be missing something here, but what does this have to do with my statement about gen alpha?

Maybe it’s time for afternoon coffee but I’m not sure what you’re disagreeing with.

EDIT: Nvm I think I get it. I should clarify, by “least bullied” I mean fewer kids are targeted for bullying (due to the heightened anti-bullying awareness over the past decade)….but when they are, the bullying is often more intense and persistent (than it was for millennials for example) because of what you’re saying.

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Can you finish the story by telling us how his recovery went and is he ok now? That’s terrifying

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When I found him, I thought he was gone. He wasn't moving and was covered in blood from head to toe. His right eye looked like it had been blown out because of the bruising/swelling. I fell on him crying and screaming and he opened his left eye to ask me what time it was. I yelled for his sisters to call 911 while I stayed with him. Ants were EVERYWHERE on him and (this wasn't even a minor concern), but I brushed them off as best I could. I found him at 6 pm and he said that he shot himself at 11:30. The ambulance took him to Lake Charles Memorial and they did the best they could but they decided that they needed to life flight to Lafayette. He stayed in ICU for 8 days and regained full mobility after 5 days. He slept 99 % of the time the first few days (honestly a blessing) and amazed his neurosurgeon with his ability to walk and speak. The wound (center of his forehead) doesn't have an outcome like this in most cases. "He should either be dead, a vegetable or permanently disabled. We kept hearing "you are lucky to be alive" by the entire medical staff. He was discharged after a total of two weeks at the hospital and immediately entered a behavioral clinic for 10 days. Multiple counseling sessions later and he's still not who he was two years ago, but he's still here and breathing. In his case, every day above ground is a victory and I am eternally grateful for it. He still has issues with leaking cerebrospinal fluid from the nose and needs at least two surgeries in the next few months. One day at a time.

Brother, I am so glad there was a...well a better ending. Because the worst ending is every parent's hell.

Reassure him he's not alone. A lot of us have struggled with the darkness and lost hope. A lot of us lost. But a lot of us are still fighting.


His story can help others, stay their hand.

I want to share this with you because someone shared it with me long ago, and it's stuck with me.

I can’t deal with this. I’m depressed just thinking about it.

I was never bullied — just the normal shite from older kids now and then—but I went to school , Boy Scouts etc w a few kids who were (1980s—it was more taunting and teasing than that crazy psychologically dark shite but still bad).

I think I learned I had a conscience and a backbone when my instinct was to defend and encourage those kids. Just basic humanity.

The groupthink that leads to that shite has to be stamped out in extremis. I’m so sorry.

My most sincere apologies and prayers. I honestly think I would have the kill the kids that did to to my kids, probably parents too. It would consume and destroy me. Please don’t do that.

Any parent + their child proven to bully via social media/text/any screen should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, ESPECIALLY when it leads to a youth suicide. Period.

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Serious question, what do you actually teach your kids that are being bullied?

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I don't know if there's a right answer. I can tell you that we have 3 kids and the boys both had bully issues at one point. Middle school is brutal.

My older guy had an issue with a deviant, and the school didn't help. I told him the standard, avoid, report, deal with it yourself and I've got your back thing I think all dads say. I also told him to DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT. He did, and I would send that info to the principal so it was on record. One day, the punk did something to my kid and said something violent and my kid wrote it down with date and time, and I reported it. They were able to review camera footage and also confirmed what the kid said. He was expelled. Instant quality of life improvement. It irritates me when admins KNOW a kid is a problem are aren't surprised by who is doing the bullying. Shut the shite down. Separate bullies from the herd.

My middle guy was being bullied by the kid of a staffer. He's on the spectrum and standing up for himself is something we had to really work on. He would report the stuff (pushing him over, dumping out his bag, dumping water on him, you name it), and staff wouldn't be discrete about it. He'd not want to go to school. I went to principal about it, again, I want it all on the record. My kid kept having issues, reporting, nothing. I went to school again. One day, I get a call that my kid punched another kid. When I got to school, I met his best friend and he gave me the scoop, and I saw my kid in the office and his story matched... the kid cannot lie... (he bopped the kid in face after being shoved thru his desk and sent the kid to naptime) I gave him a fistbump and met with the principal and the parent of the kid, who was on staff. I am over 6 feet tall and 250 pounds... I purposely sat next to this other dad so he could appreciate the fact I was twice his size. I asked if it made him feel good that his kid chose to bully an autistic kid, and asked why they were surprised we ended up where we are? They suspended my kid for ONE day, and we got ice cream. They fired the teacher and he withdrew his kid. It didn't matter, though, I pulled him out of school over the next break.

So yeah. Avoid. Ignore. Report. Document. Defend yourself. Get parents to help. If there is an email thread, they are fricked. Do not just call them or use verbal communication. You need a paper trail. Kids have a hard time describing what happens after the fact, writing it down with location, date, time, and details is important.

I suffered with depression when I was younger. Never suicidal, but enough that my parents always noticed and made it a point to have me go talk to a therapist on a weekly basis. The one thing my dad always told me was that suicide was permanent solution to a temporary problem. I wished more people looked at it like that. It’s a very selfish thing and brings a lot of pain to your loved ones. I’m not blaming the girl for doing what she did, It just sucks that this little girl went through that and probably didn’t know how to deal with it.

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Teach your kids to be strong

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Sorry, but victim blaming here is disgusting. A poor child committing suicide is horrific. That’s not her fault. You can’t teach being strong. She did nothing wrong and was bullied by pieces of shite with horrible parents.

Girls are vicious people, especially young ones. They are so mean and ruthless. Even with a loving family at home it may just have been too much. What a sad and horrible situation.

My son is young and only 7 but at this age is huge into anti-bullying and talks about it a lot. Hope he keeps that mentality. We will always enforce that at home.