re: Taking this to the OT for advice.

1) If you are funding your kid's life, you make the rules.
2) Tell your EX to pay your kids way then she can make the rules.

While I agree with your overall position, there is also the old saying, "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

I think this is the point you should have stood on at the time. If we've raised our kids right, and I will assume you have, then you say that this is an exception and not the rule. At some point you have to trust the morals you've instilled in them. Personally, I'd rather have my kid be in a location that is safe where they can rest than potentially push a bad situation and end up in a car accident. I did some late night driving at that age and I'm fortunate to be here because of it. So, I'll defer to safety first. I'm sure his parents were in a similar boat to you with regards to any hanky-panky that might potentially go on and would have kept an eye on things. If you had any reservations, you could have spoken with the other parents to let them know your concerns. There was a solution here that didn't involve people getting man at each other.

You dropped the ball on this one dad.

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My philosophy was when they are paying 100% of their bills then they can make 100% of the decisions.

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This x 10000!!!!!

If this is not the case, then she is not an adult.

Your house, your rules. I wouldn't be quite so absolute with my 18 YO daughter (no pics pervs) but she wouldn't be going to spend the night at some dudes house she isn't married to when she is supposed t be staying with me.

I am somewhat lucky and she knows that "no" would be my answer so she wouldn't even ask.

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Tvilletiger

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If there was any questions you have now cleared them up as one of the trashiest in the OT. Congrats on being divorced and have grandchildren in your 30's.

Things are not going to be so bad in Gainesville that her bf needed to be evacuated by his girlfriend. That is absurd. (I'm in Gainesville.)

That is where you should have put your foot down - at a time when people are legit trying to evac and need fuel etc....no trip for her. Dude can ride it out on campus. When Helene came through I drove through town. Campus was just fine. Looked like all the lights were on and I saw people walking around campus without a care in the world. Parts of the city were totally without power and debris everywhere, but campus is pretty robust.

If she stays under your roof, then she follows your rules. I would assume explaining your concerns is probably better than just a flat "no". Still, your house, your rules.

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I do. Just waking up to this. I don’t think I am wrong on this but the entire female side of my family appears to.

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Take comfort in the fact that as women, they are wrong.

Not that it matters

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That’s my dilemma in my mind also. I mean she just left for college. Is it free reigns now when ever she comes home? I am not good with that. I don’t care if they hang here all night he could even crash in one of the guest bedrooms.

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Having your daughter grow up and move out sucks bro. I've dealt with it also. She's married, living in Houston, has a baby. Good son in law though. Before you know it she'll be in ya'lls shoes raising hell about the same thing. She's 18, let it go, but yea it sucks. I can't wait for the boys to move out, but daughter, tough one.

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My ex

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Do we want pics?

Yes but that’s not happening