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Posted on 3/8/23 at 10:47 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
I have like 5 meat thermometers because I just get pissed off that it's not in the drawer I keep it in and I just go buy another one. Eventually I'll find one like behind the microwave and put it back into the regular rotation
This is me, but scissors. Not even cheapos, but nice kitchen shears. I have 4.
I’m thinking of putting a gun safe in the kitchen now.
Posted on 3/8/23 at 11:01 pm to elprez00
Mind you I work from home and my wife is a stay at home mom.
Wife: sits in silence on the couch
Me: enjoys silence on the couch
Wife: huffs and puffs for an hour
Me: "what's wrong"
Wife: "I just feel like I haven't seen you all day"
Me:......
Wife: sits in silence on the couch
Me: enjoys silence on the couch
Wife: huffs and puffs for an hour
Me: "what's wrong"
Wife: "I just feel like I haven't seen you all day"
Me:......
Posted on 3/8/23 at 11:17 pm to elprez00
Man caves exist for a reason.
Posted on 3/8/23 at 11:27 pm to elprez00
Wife: You never help me around the house.
Also wife: Stop touching the laundry, you fold the towels wrong.
Quit hanging up the clothes I leave out for a week, you put them facing the wrong direction.
Stop putting things away, I’ll put them wheee I want.
Why do you spend so much time working in the yard when the house is a mess inside?
I had to unclog my toilet because YOU messed it up. Telling her I only piss in that toilet EVER is met with a death stare.
Also wife: Stop touching the laundry, you fold the towels wrong.
Quit hanging up the clothes I leave out for a week, you put them facing the wrong direction.
Stop putting things away, I’ll put them wheee I want.
Why do you spend so much time working in the yard when the house is a mess inside?
I had to unclog my toilet because YOU messed it up. Telling her I only piss in that toilet EVER is met with a death stare.
Posted on 3/8/23 at 11:31 pm to elprez00
Put stuff back where you found it, if possible, in better condition. It might not seem like it now but kids are the best opportunity to keep common sense afloat.
Posted on 3/8/23 at 11:36 pm to GreenRockTiger
Are you sure you actually told him?
Posted on 3/9/23 at 12:08 am to elprez00
My wife’s internal clock is always 20 minutes behind
Posted on 3/9/23 at 12:14 am to elprez00
My wife is the fricking worst at moving my shite, insisting that she didn’t move it, then if I find it, denying that she moved it there. 
My go-to line is, “Well, I guess we have a fricking poltergeist in the house that likes to hide my shite from me,”
My go-to line is, “Well, I guess we have a fricking poltergeist in the house that likes to hide my shite from me,”
Posted on 3/9/23 at 12:45 am to elprez00
My wife will spend an hour looking through and reorganizing a stack of photos or papers she pulls from a drawer, then leave them out somewhere randomly in several small piles (creating more clutter), and in her head she’s performed a valuable household task.
Posted on 3/9/23 at 1:44 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
I keep a pair of fingernail clippers in my gun safe.
I’ll bet we own, but can’t find, a thousand of them. I end up cutting and cleaning under my nails using all manner of field expedient methods and materials. When I give up looking I surreptitiously buy one and put it in my shave kit. This apparently triggers some antediluvian response in Mrs M causing her to ask me if she can borrow it. The item, once borrowed, is never seen again.
Posted on 3/9/23 at 2:53 am to elprez00
Mrs. Scruffy puts the toilet paper backwards.
The roll goes away from the wall, not towards it!
The roll goes away from the wall, not towards it!
Posted on 3/9/23 at 3:18 am to Scruffy
I broke down and bought like 20 pair of finger nail clippers off Amazon.
I have them everywhere.
The wife also drives me crazy when she cooks. I'm a good cook and have shown her a thousand times how to do something and she ignores it and then asks me to fix it.
Like red beans and rice...
Kidney beans are shite. I do it is them. I'll make a pot of beans and everyone loves them. I tell her I don't use kidney beans. They are flavorless crap. Pintos with jalapeños ftw along with great white northens...
She'll make a pot and I get home. They are full of nothing but kidney beans, everyone complains including her they are " missing something" and asks me to fix them....every time.
Seasoning chicken is the same way. Season under the damn skin, don't just dump on top.
Then she gets offended when no one really eats it.
My daughter loves to cook and eat and she's old enough now she'll correct these things before I get home. Wife will listen to her but gets aggravated when I mention the mistakes.
I have them everywhere.
The wife also drives me crazy when she cooks. I'm a good cook and have shown her a thousand times how to do something and she ignores it and then asks me to fix it.
Like red beans and rice...
Kidney beans are shite. I do it is them. I'll make a pot of beans and everyone loves them. I tell her I don't use kidney beans. They are flavorless crap. Pintos with jalapeños ftw along with great white northens...
She'll make a pot and I get home. They are full of nothing but kidney beans, everyone complains including her they are " missing something" and asks me to fix them....every time.
Seasoning chicken is the same way. Season under the damn skin, don't just dump on top.
Then she gets offended when no one really eats it.
My daughter loves to cook and eat and she's old enough now she'll correct these things before I get home. Wife will listen to her but gets aggravated when I mention the mistakes.
Posted on 3/9/23 at 5:10 am to thejudge
She leaves lights on
Leaves cabinet doors hanging open
Cannot clean up after herself in the kitchen
I swear it’s like she’s a child.
Leaves cabinet doors hanging open
Cannot clean up after herself in the kitchen
I swear it’s like she’s a child.
Posted on 3/9/23 at 5:46 am to elprez00
Two things annoy me about my spouse. One is she doesn’t seem to understand that if you clean while you cook, you can have more relaxation time in the evening. Instead she just leaves shite laying all over the kitchen and then complains about how much she has to clean.
Number 2 is she constantly complains about me golfing on Saturdays. I golf one day a week at 8:20 during the spring/summer and 9:20 during winter after hunting season is over. And it’s not always a weekly thing either. All I want to fricking do is have a nice few hours away from work and the house and just do something that I enjoy doing. But sometimes she gets this idea in her head that I don’t enjoy spending time with her and the kids. Don’t know how many times I have begged and pleaded with her to find her own hobby (obviously while I’m not doing mine) and I’d be more than happy to watch the kids. She won’t do it. She doesn’t bitch half as much about me hunting damn near every weekend as she does about the golfing.
Number 2 is she constantly complains about me golfing on Saturdays. I golf one day a week at 8:20 during the spring/summer and 9:20 during winter after hunting season is over. And it’s not always a weekly thing either. All I want to fricking do is have a nice few hours away from work and the house and just do something that I enjoy doing. But sometimes she gets this idea in her head that I don’t enjoy spending time with her and the kids. Don’t know how many times I have begged and pleaded with her to find her own hobby (obviously while I’m not doing mine) and I’d be more than happy to watch the kids. She won’t do it. She doesn’t bitch half as much about me hunting damn near every weekend as she does about the golfing.
Posted on 3/9/23 at 5:49 am to Mr. Misanthrope
quote:
When I give up looking I surreptitiously buy one and put it in my shave kit. This apparently triggers some antediluvian response in Mrs M causing her to ask me if she can borrow it. The item, once borrowed, is never seen again.
Yep. It's not intentional. My wife is a very sweet lady she's just a little scatter brained about stuff like that. She doesn't have a regular place where she keeps most things so she's always losing stuff.
Posted on 3/9/23 at 5:54 am to Alyosha
quote:
Constantly late to everything but has impeccable timing when she wants me to do something
I love to randomly ask if it takes 30 minutes to get ready, why do you feel the need to wait to start until 30 minutes before we need to leave. I get the frustrated “fine” for her to go in the other room and start playing on her phone until “it’s time to start getting ready”
Posted on 3/9/23 at 6:00 am to elprez00
Man lots of really good stuff in this thread, really hits home lol
-Toothpaste globs in the sink--I don't fricking get it
-Filthy vehicle, continuously on E
-The dreaded pillow talk. I work 10-12hr days, she works about half of that and some of it from home, at the end of the day working and being a parent when I lay down it's time to shut the frick up and go to bed not serious conversation
-Wife has zero clue about money and sucks at basic math. I have a spreadsheet with our monthly bills/income and have to show it to her frequently as to why we cannot afford to buy x,y,z right night
-Wife cleans the kitchen, that's her thing that she wants. I'm glad because I worked in a kitchen for 3 years and washed enough dishes for my life time. That said, this only works if she in fact cleans the dishes! She NEVER rinses anything out, and NEVER finishes her meal always leaving like 2 bites left and then just proceeds to put the whole bowl/plate in the sink. shite stinks by the next morning and I'm the one who usually can't stand the smell/sight of it and properly rinses everything. If she would just empty the dishwasher once it is done then we would not have this issue and we could put dirty dishes directly in there. Makes too much sense.
-I do the majority of the laundry. I never fold/hang clothes unless they are fresh out of the dryer to prevent wrinkles as much as possible. As I mentioned I work a lot more hours than my wife so she picks up my slack time to time and it never fails, wrinkly arse clothes because she lets them sit forever in the dyer even though we've been over this countless times
Even though she spends a lot more time at home and works about half the hours I work, for some reason there is still a pile of clean clothes on the floor in her closet. Make it make sense damnit
-When it's time to clean, say a weekend or when she catches a wild hair during the week she is a great at it. But the in between time it's like living with a damn teenager
-Toothpaste globs in the sink--I don't fricking get it
-Filthy vehicle, continuously on E
-The dreaded pillow talk. I work 10-12hr days, she works about half of that and some of it from home, at the end of the day working and being a parent when I lay down it's time to shut the frick up and go to bed not serious conversation
-Wife has zero clue about money and sucks at basic math. I have a spreadsheet with our monthly bills/income and have to show it to her frequently as to why we cannot afford to buy x,y,z right night
-Wife cleans the kitchen, that's her thing that she wants. I'm glad because I worked in a kitchen for 3 years and washed enough dishes for my life time. That said, this only works if she in fact cleans the dishes! She NEVER rinses anything out, and NEVER finishes her meal always leaving like 2 bites left and then just proceeds to put the whole bowl/plate in the sink. shite stinks by the next morning and I'm the one who usually can't stand the smell/sight of it and properly rinses everything. If she would just empty the dishwasher once it is done then we would not have this issue and we could put dirty dishes directly in there. Makes too much sense.
-I do the majority of the laundry. I never fold/hang clothes unless they are fresh out of the dryer to prevent wrinkles as much as possible. As I mentioned I work a lot more hours than my wife so she picks up my slack time to time and it never fails, wrinkly arse clothes because she lets them sit forever in the dyer even though we've been over this countless times
Even though she spends a lot more time at home and works about half the hours I work, for some reason there is still a pile of clean clothes on the floor in her closet. Make it make sense damnit
-When it's time to clean, say a weekend or when she catches a wild hair during the week she is a great at it. But the in between time it's like living with a damn teenager
Posted on 3/9/23 at 6:12 am to elprez00
Hey honey! You’re perfect! Don’t change a thing!
Posted on 3/9/23 at 6:13 am to Loup
quote:
I told my wife that she needed to take some pride in her vehicle and not treat it like a garbage dump. You'd have thought I'd told her she was fat
This
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