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re: So..got in a fight with the wife tonight…
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:39 am to SquatchDawg
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:39 am to SquatchDawg
Best of luck and I hope you can fight like hell to save your family. It’s worth it. The age of the kids and situation seem to be something that would benefit from therapy, alcohol therapy and family counseling. I’m not a professional at this, but maybe family therapy is a good start as I would assume the kids have seen this unfolding as well. God bless and I pray it works out for your family.
This post was edited on 6/27/25 at 6:49 am
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Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:42 am to SquatchDawg
her being the primary care giver for ailing parents, how that made her feel, and how you handled that is the key to this lock
address that with some real self awareness and reflection and I’ll bet you start to unravel the knot
address that with some real self awareness and reflection and I’ll bet you start to unravel the knot
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:44 am to Oates Mustache
She clearly is depressed. Needs to get on meds asap
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:48 am to SquatchDawg
Just want to say, we all lose our parents. I knew at an early age, I was going to lose why parents. I grieved and moved along with my life.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:51 am to SquatchDawg
Poor y'all. She definitely got some alcoholism and depression. She needs counseling/psychiatry. Keep solace in those around you.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:57 am to SquatchDawg
Wife is depressed since her parents died, kids that she has raised are moving on, and your response is to tell her to get a job. Can’t imagine why that didn’t go over well.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 6:58 am to SquatchDawg
Her reaction is normal. I was in the same situation as you years ago, and when I approached her to go back to work she also blew up. Then after the dust settled she started her own business. Blessed by the man upstairs, within six months it became pointless for me to work anymore and have two absent parents. I quit my career and helped her grow it. Our duties did a 180 and it was a complete lifestyle change, but we are in great shape now and have a bright future. Would not change anything. I had to be willing to embrace my new role and I had to be willing to accept that great things she used to do would no longer be done. It all worked out. I can't have this lifestyle without her, and she cannot run a business without my help. That's how you compliment each other.
Marriage has highs and lows but if you have a solid relationship that won't matter.
I would do therapy as it will help you with this transition. It will help both of you see the other side and is positive. It is not a doomed result like most men believe.
Marriage has highs and lows but if you have a solid relationship that won't matter.
I would do therapy as it will help you with this transition. It will help both of you see the other side and is positive. It is not a doomed result like most men believe.
This post was edited on 6/27/25 at 7:00 am
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:00 am to SquatchDawg
In-N-Out pays $18 an hour to start in Houston.
Or, she can not get a job and cut her spending by 80%. Her choice.
Get a therapist yesterday. Your marriage is fricked, and you'll probably pretend it isn't until your first kid is a sophomore. Then she'll leave you anyway.
quote:
lunch with her friends, girls weekend with her friends, yoga with her friends
Or, she can not get a job and cut her spending by 80%. Her choice.
Get a therapist yesterday. Your marriage is fricked, and you'll probably pretend it isn't until your first kid is a sophomore. Then she'll leave you anyway.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:01 am to SquatchDawg
If it hasn’t been said already, go get her hormones checked.
Menopause is a motherfricker. And doctors don’t do nearly enough to warn women about it or educate them on it.
Menopause is a motherfricker. And doctors don’t do nearly enough to warn women about it or educate them on it.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:01 am to SquatchDawg
I’ve been through something very similar. As our kids got closer to finishing high school my wife started drinking heavily. Depression hit her hard. I got her into treatment. It took about 5 years to get through and 3 trips to treatment but she is a lot better now and we are fine. It helped that I don’t believe in divorce and was determined to to get through it. Sounds like she is having a serious mid-life crisis. It’s not easy but it’s survivable.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:03 am to SquatchDawg
Losing parents especially when she was in the middle of it being the caretaker is huge.
I’d also bet that she at the age where menopause is creeping in.
Women are lead by emotions, you have to remember this when you communicate with her.
She probably needs to seek therapy/counseling because your description of the drinking and not giving a frick about mom duties points to depression.
She also needs to see a doctor perhaps for some Hormone Therapy.
I’d also bet that she at the age where menopause is creeping in.
Women are lead by emotions, you have to remember this when you communicate with her.
She probably needs to seek therapy/counseling because your description of the drinking and not giving a frick about mom duties points to depression.
She also needs to see a doctor perhaps for some Hormone Therapy.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:05 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
taking care of her husband
This is where I stopped reading.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:08 am to SquatchDawg
Depression. She needs help.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:08 am to SquatchDawg
You are not the a-hole. Give her a timeline of how long the additional income is needed.
Wife went back to work in 2019 after taking 17 years off when kids were in high school. Her additional income, state of Alabama retirement, and benefits have been a lift. Both children will be off the dime in 2 years (1 already is). Wife can “retire” in 2 years or in 2029 fully vested with a decent nest egg to supplement our combined retirement.
Wife went back to work in 2019 after taking 17 years off when kids were in high school. Her additional income, state of Alabama retirement, and benefits have been a lift. Both children will be off the dime in 2 years (1 already is). Wife can “retire” in 2 years or in 2029 fully vested with a decent nest egg to supplement our combined retirement.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:12 am to SquatchDawg
I think she got herself to a point in life where she was mentally and physically drained. Turned to alcohol to help her relax and try and numb the pain she was having. The alcohol grabbed her and won’t let go.
I’m not sure where she’s at that she would go to therapy. But if she would it would probably help. I think she needs to let a lot of pain out. It’s probably deeper than some of the things you mentioned.
You can also try to just pour into her. Get a house cleaner once or twice to help catch up. Take her on a 10 day trip somewhere just y’all. Find a way to reset. More than anything I would just hug her a lot and tell her she’s enough. Good luck. If you’ve battled through 25 years this too will pass. But healing takes time sometimes.
I’m not sure where she’s at that she would go to therapy. But if she would it would probably help. I think she needs to let a lot of pain out. It’s probably deeper than some of the things you mentioned.
You can also try to just pour into her. Get a house cleaner once or twice to help catch up. Take her on a 10 day trip somewhere just y’all. Find a way to reset. More than anything I would just hug her a lot and tell her she’s enough. Good luck. If you’ve battled through 25 years this too will pass. But healing takes time sometimes.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:16 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
Her sole focus is on lunch with her friends, girls weekend with her friends, yoga with her friends, etc.
These are signs of an unhealthy marriage. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:23 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
What should I do?
Leave her
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:30 am to SquatchDawg
I see many people suggesting therapy, which would be a positive solution. However, I would avoid the meds.
SSRIs are more of a band aid to stop the bleeding than they are surgery to actually fix the problem. But if you think the temporary fix would help, that’s still an option.
As someone who has dealt with depression before, the real solution happens in a place many people are too afraid to confront: our faith, spirituality, and belief about the world. Jesus Christ is many things, and one of those is a healer. Her heart is broken and needs healing. Pray, invest in the word of God, petition for the Holy Spirit’s intervention with honest intent, and you will find your world changed for the better.
SSRIs are more of a band aid to stop the bleeding than they are surgery to actually fix the problem. But if you think the temporary fix would help, that’s still an option.
As someone who has dealt with depression before, the real solution happens in a place many people are too afraid to confront: our faith, spirituality, and belief about the world. Jesus Christ is many things, and one of those is a healer. Her heart is broken and needs healing. Pray, invest in the word of God, petition for the Holy Spirit’s intervention with honest intent, and you will find your world changed for the better.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:31 am to TigersWin88
quote:
As someone who has dealt with depression before, the real solution happens in a place many people are too afraid to confront: our faith
We live in a broken fallen world full of darkness. Without finding the Light it’s impossible to escape.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 7:34 am to SUB
Tell her to make you a sandwich
Meal prep complete
Meal prep complete
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