re: PSA- you don’t have to rush to the door when pizza delivery arrives

Lazy frick orders pizza because he gets winded walking to the door much less having to drive a mile to pick it up himself.


Inspired worker runs a shitty job that relies on tips to get by, but does so to be an honorable human being in a time when most others are living off the government dime. He delivers pizza to fat lazy frick that struggles to get out of his recliner.


Doorbell rings; fat lazy frick starts looking for the remote. Wheezing after working so hard to find it, he finally is able to hit the pause button.

Doorbell rings again, because hard worker has other deliveries to get to in order to maximize his tips per hour ratio.


Fat lazy frick yells out with his Camel lights breath “HOLD THE frick UP I AM COMING!,” ignores the wife who just took a moment away from texting her work mate that she swears she’s leaving him this time and can’t wait to see him when fat lazy frick is passed out later tonight, crushes a bud light can, yells at little Jon to go fetch him another one, then finally finishes what he is doing, which is pausing the tv, because that piece of shite at the door must wait for him due to some twisted sense of alpha male syndrome, and he begins lumbering to the front door.

Doorbell rings again, because hard worker has other deliveries to get to in order to maximize his tips per hour ratio.


Fat lazy frick seethes between his hacking smokers cough, puts 70cents back into his pocket in order to lessen the tip amount out of some delusional principle to punish the hard worker, opens the door, coughs in the kid’s face and hands him the money only after taking the pizza and walking it back to the kitchen counter.

Fat lazy frick sits back on the recliner and yells to his miserable family to bring him more beer and some goddamn pizza. He doesn’t work his arse off all day to put food on the table only to have to come home and serve the rest of these ungrateful moochers. He lights another camel, unpauses the tv, picks up his phone and starts writing a thread about how terribly he was mistreated when in reality the post is riddled with not so hidden admissions of how miserable his life is.


Hi, I’m Jon Ham…

Pizza is trashy

I go to answer in a timely manner because they earn money through delivery. The more deliveries they get the more they can earn. Im not going to be a prick and hold them up because I think I am better than they are. Respect

You are what’s wrong with people today. This person is working to survive in todays world and you don’t have the slightest respect to show them any decency. Especially around the holidays, this guy might be saving up every penny to buy little Joey his first bike and he has to stand out in the cold waiting on an a-hole.

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Can you give us an example of what you would be in the middle of?

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There will be no example. OP has realized that this thread does not make him look cool, and instead, makes him look like the scum on the rim of an a-hole.

Damn! Lotta hate going on! OP must have a history that’s spilling over into this thread. I don’t care. Just sayin.

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If I’m in the middle of something, I find a stopping point first before going to find my wallet and then going to the door. I’m the paying customer, right? I’m also tipping.

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If the pizza guy knocks and you don’t come to the door promptly, you’re an a-hole. You don’t have to dive off the stairs, but if you ordered a pizza you should anticipate his arrival and not be too busy to answer the door within a minute or so of when he knocks.

Plus, a delivery guy standing at the door doesn’t know if you’re tipping $20 or not at all.

PSA to the grocery delivery person - you don’t have to stand there and hand me every bag. Just drop it and scram unless you’re a hot chick.

For one it’s a courtesy and the delivery guy likely has other stops to make with pizza and you could be causing him to get in trouble for taking too long because the other customers called to complain