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re: Parenting question - what time should a teenager be going to bed during the school year?
Posted on 8/14/26 at 9:09 am to biglego
Posted on 8/14/26 at 9:09 am to biglego
quote:
8:45 for a 13 yr old is extreme.
Extreme just because of what time it is? Or extreme because it’s asking them to sleep too much?
8:45 - 6:20 is 9.5 hours of sleep. Assuming they fall asleep at 9 or 9:15, it’s 9 hours of sleep, right in the middle of what doctors suggest for optimal growth, performance, and mental health.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 9:12 am to StringedInstruments
11-12 when I was that age
My son crashes at 9 almost every night but he’s a bit younger
My son crashes at 9 almost every night but he’s a bit younger
Posted on 8/14/26 at 10:07 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
But I am curious how others handle sleep schedules as their kids have gotten older.
What time do they need to wake up on a given school day, they need 10+ hours of sleep (all of mine are still pre-teens), that is when they need to be lying in bed. The actual bedtime process will start about an hour before (brush teeth, change to pjs, read stories, 10 minutes to just talk...)
Posted on 8/14/26 at 11:02 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
My wife wants lights out at 8:45 for our 13 year old son.
Damn, its still light outside here at 8:45
Posted on 8/14/26 at 11:09 am to Indefatigable
quote:
its still light outside here at 8:4
Same here, that's why blackout curtains exist.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 11:16 am to Indefatigable
Yeah, I don't know exactly where the OP lives. According to Google AI, it usually doesn't get completely dark until around 9:20 in August in the place where I live on the Florida peninsula. There's probably even more daylight somewhere far east in a time zone, like the Florida panhandle or eastern Alabama. Heck, the OP says he's an Auburn fan, and if he lives in the Auburn area (which is about as far east as can possibly be in the Central Time Zone), there's probably quite a bit of daylight at 8:45.
This post was edited on 8/14/26 at 11:23 am
Posted on 8/14/26 at 12:15 pm to StringedInstruments
Probably no later than 10pm. A little earlier is even better.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 1:33 pm to deltaland
quote:Nothing for any of us to brag about.
At 16 it was 1 am coming in drunk
Posted on 8/14/26 at 1:59 pm to StringedInstruments
As we get more and more research, it becomes pretty clear that teenagers need 8-10 hours a sleep for cognitive develop and mental health. It’s starting to become one of the most important factors of growth.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 2:49 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
8:45 for a 13 yr old is extreme.
Extreme just because of what time it is? Or extreme because it’s asking them to sleep too much?
It’s extremely early. Nothing wrong with it if it works for y’all, but it’s very early esp this time of year when it’s not even fully dark
Posted on 8/14/26 at 3:24 pm to StringedInstruments
My kids’ phone is off at 830pm…bed for 915/930. Wake up is 530/540
Posted on 8/15/26 at 8:00 pm to StringedInstruments
Then tell your wife he needs to stay up a few days a week later so he can experience what it's like to be a teenager. I.E. playing video games with his friends and watching football with his Dad. If he shows hes that hes struggling with less sleep then have him go back to his old routine.
Posted on 8/15/26 at 8:23 pm to Antonio Moss
The need 8-10 hours of sleep but their bodies can’t physically go to sleep that early. That’s why teenagers are night owls. That’s also why the push to not start school before 9am to allow teenagers the best opportunities to be successful and but their health first
Posted on 8/16/26 at 7:12 am to StringedInstruments
I am not sure you can really compare bedtime 25-30 years ago to now, but I went to bed around 9 at that age and felt like I was able to do a lot after school.
Nowadays, kids don't come home until 4/4:30 or later, then there is sports or activities and then dinner. So you have 7:30-8:30 (?) to do homework and shower/get ready to be in bed for 8:45? When do they get to just chill and be kids?
My kids are younger (preschool age) and their bedtime is 8; and their butts are up at 6:30/7:00 at the latest.
Nowadays, kids don't come home until 4/4:30 or later, then there is sports or activities and then dinner. So you have 7:30-8:30 (?) to do homework and shower/get ready to be in bed for 8:45? When do they get to just chill and be kids?
My kids are younger (preschool age) and their bedtime is 8; and their butts are up at 6:30/7:00 at the latest.
Posted on 8/16/26 at 7:28 am to tigerbacon
quote:
That’s why teenagers are night owls
Bs. Only if the are allowed to be.
It's 6:30 on a Sunday AM and mine is already up on his own.
ETA: He went to bed between 9:30-10 so he got the recommended 8+ hours. Yesterday he 1) Went for a mountain bike ride, 2) helped me in the yard, 3) lounged around the house on his last Saturday off before school starts and 4) went out with his buddies to ask girls out to the homecoming dance.
This post was edited on 8/16/26 at 7:39 am
Posted on 8/16/26 at 7:42 am to alexahet
quote:
So you have 7:30-8:30 (?) to do homework and shower/get ready to be in bed for 8:45?
Our observation as parents is teachers are much more forgiving on homework "deadlines" today. Most of the time if you communicate with the they will let kids turn in assignments past the due date. I think kids full schedules today are part of that.
Posted on 8/16/26 at 7:50 am to StringedInstruments
My 13 year old (8th grade) has had a 9pm bedtime for a few years now. He’s been asking to stay up later for a while. But, since his grades and homework/study habits so far this year have been a vast improvement from last year, he now gets to stay up until 10. If the grades suffer or he has trouble waking up in the morning, bedtime becomes 9pm again.
Posted on 8/16/26 at 8:22 am to Lonnie Utah
Just basing my comments on studies after studies. So you have an outlier. Congrats.
Posted on 8/16/26 at 8:32 am to tigerbacon
quote:
Just basing my comments on studies after studies.
You're basing your comments based upon not understanding what the studies actually says. Hormones released in puberty naturally shifts melatonin release later in the evening, which triggers the desire to sleep. Hoeever, that does not necessarily make them "night owls". It simply means their bedtimes might be later. And our kid fits that pattern perfectly. In elementary school he went to bed 8-8:30, middle school 8:30-9:15, high school 9:15-10:00.
Do teens have a propensity to stay up later than preteens? Yes. Can that be offset by a proper and consistent sleep schedule? Yes.
This post was edited on 8/16/26 at 8:33 am
Posted on 8/16/26 at 9:02 am to StringedInstruments
If ya gotta ask then you shouldn’t be having kids.
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