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re: Parenting question - what time should a teenager be going to bed during the school year?
Posted on 8/14/26 at 12:48 am to SallysHuman
Posted on 8/14/26 at 12:48 am to SallysHuman
Shoot my 16 year old doesn't get off work until 1030 most nights, has football games on Friday nights and usually work again Saturday morning and then church Sunday morning. Up every morning for school by 630, up for church by 8.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 1:21 am to StringedInstruments
For a 13 year old, 10:30 is the best time for bed
And take phone away at 9pm
And take phone away at 9pm
Posted on 8/14/26 at 2:35 am to StringedInstruments
quote:im assuming he plays zero sports
My wife wants lights out at 8:45 for our 13 year old
Posted on 8/14/26 at 3:03 am to StringedInstruments
I never had a bed time growing up. Didn’t know anyone who had one
Posted on 8/14/26 at 4:26 am to StringedInstruments
8:45 for a 13 year old? 10:00 is about right.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 5:22 am to StringedInstruments
My daughter has so much studying to do it’s hard for her to go to bed before 10:00pm.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 5:47 am to StringedInstruments
I think at 13 my bedtime was 9 or 9:30.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 5:59 am to StringedInstruments
My ten year old does 9-5:45. My sixteen year old puts herself to bed. Usually she says goodnight around 9 or 9:30, even on weekends.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 6:22 am to StringedInstruments
How the hell is he watching Monday night raw going to bed that early. 10:30 is the right answer. It’s weird because now I’m in my 30’s. It’s back to 10/10:30.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 6:45 am to tigersownall
quote:
It’s weird because now I’m in my 30’s. It’s back to 10/10:30
FYI, that’s going to keep creeping up.
Then one day you’ll suddenly be over 40 and find yourself up and slightly annoyed that you have to wait until 6am for Home Depot and Lowe’s to open up on Saturdays.
This post was edited on 8/14/26 at 6:46 am
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:04 am to Sus-Scrofa
I never had a bedtime after about the age of 8 yrs old .. then again, I am Gen X and we were kinda feral, and we largely raised ourselves.. .. still, I couldn't imagine telling any teenager kid of mine what time to go to bed - with exceptions of course, if I continuously find them awake at 3;30am watching tv or something, then I guess that might lead to a conversation .. but more about insomnia treatments than anything else .
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:16 am to StringedInstruments
This isn't a realistic bed time for a teenager unless he has zero outside activities. It's great for him to get a lot of sleep, and it's ideal, but it doesn't work with sports, dance, etc.
By the time ours were teenagers, I think we just wanted them in their rooms by 10:00 because we were going to bed. If they stayed up past that it was on them. They figure it out quickly if they're too tired for school.
By the time ours were teenagers, I think we just wanted them in their rooms by 10:00 because we were going to bed. If they stayed up past that it was on them. They figure it out quickly if they're too tired for school.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:21 am to StringedInstruments
I would have been a pain in the arse about lights out at 845.
Zero chance that would have happened
Zero chance that would have happened
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:21 am to HouseMom
quote:
sleep, and it's ideal, but it doesn't work with sports, dance, etc.
Who signed them up for a dance company that practices until 930PM? Parents did. Who signed Braxxtyn up for extra batting practice that doesn't end until 9PM on school nights? Parents did.
quote:
They figure it out quickly if they're too tired for school
They just drink more coffee, or energy drinks, or just zone out in class. Funny how you think most teenagers "figure it out." Just like how they "figure out" how to budget, right?
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:26 am to LemmyLives
quote:
Who signed them up for a dance company that practices until 930PM? Parents did. Who signed Braxxtyn up for extra batting practice that doesn't end until 9PM on school nights? Parents did.
Good grief. Yes, parents sign them up, but they sure don't make the schedules.
Are you being sarcastic or do you have very young children and haven't experienced this yet?
quote:
Funny how you think most teenagers "figure it out." Just like how they "figure out" how to budget, right?
Yes. This is literally the point of the teenage years. We guide, suggest, nudge, etc. and help them figure it out. If they pull too far away, we pull the rope back a little. If a teenager is too tired for school, barring mental deficits, they WILL figure it out.
If you don't let them figure things out, they wind up with emotional support cats in college and their moms writing on FB pages about the "supplies" their sons need.
This post was edited on 8/14/26 at 7:37 am
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:34 am to StringedInstruments
Ask your husband.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 7:59 am to HouseMom
quote:
If a teenager is too tired for school, barring mental deficits, they WILL figure it out.
Research suggests otherwise:
quote:
Significant personal and public health issues, such as depression and accidental injury and mortality, are associated with insufficient sleep. Converging biological and psychosocial factors mean that adolescence is a period of heightened risk. Parent-set bedtimes offer promise as a simple and easily translatable means for parents to improve the sleep and daytime functioning of their teens.
quote:
Short MA; Gradisar M; Wright H; Lack LC; Dohnt H; Carskadon MA. Time for bed: parent-set bedtimes associated with improved sleep and daytime functioning in adolescents. SLEEP 2011;34(6):797-800.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 8:04 am to HouseMom
quote:
Good grief. Yes, parents sign them up, but they sure don't make the schedules.
Are you being sarcastic or do you have very young children and haven't experienced this yet?
I'm not being sarcastic at all. My daughter has been in at least four dance companies that have different schedules, doing the usual set of ballet/ballroom/latin dance. Her schedules used to wrap practice up by 6 or 7 (har har) at the latest, but my ex wife moved her to a company/teacher that practices twice a week until 9PM. That's a choice. My kids are teens, I've been watching this activity for a decade across their peers, too.
School sponsored activities never end super late, whether it's cheerleading, band, theater, football, or what have you. Football practice is before 6AM until maybe October, but they're done with games by 6PM.
quote:
don't let them figure things out
I don't mean baby them, but you have to guide them. You can watch your kid try to put together some simple Ikea furniture and wreck it over and over, or you can give parental advice like, "before you tighten those bolts, look at the next step in the instructions so you're sure what is going on," and stuff like that. This is the time we teach our kids that protein is king, and that drinking all your calories from Starbucks or energy drinks doesn't lead to anything good.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 8:17 am to StringedInstruments
8:45 for a 13 yr old is extreme. It’s still daylight at 8:45 here.
Posted on 8/14/26 at 8:29 am to StringedInstruments
I had an 8 PM bedtime in the 6th grade, got ridiculed for it because I had to tell the class I couldn't watch an assignment that started at 8.
That was in 1973.
That was in 1973.
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