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toosleaux
Houston Astros Fan
Wired To The T
Member since Dec 2007
7315 posts
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Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Tragic story, but I found it interesting to read her suicide note. I often wonder how people get to the point that taking their own life is the only option to end the pain.

quote:

I have written this note several times in my head for over a decade, and this one finally feels right. No edits, no overthinking. I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment, and I am just plain old-fashioned tired of feeling tired.

I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper. I’m fortunate to eat meals most only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction. I live alone in the second greatest American city (San Francisco, you’ll always have my heart). However, all these facets seem trivial to me. It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people; I also felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life. No single conversation or situation has led me to make this decision, so at what point do you metaphorically pull the trigger?

I’m going to miss doing NYT crosswords (I was getting really good). That one charcuterie board with taleggio AND ‘nduja. Anything Sichuan ma la, but that goes without saying. A perfect plate of carbonara (no cream!). Real true authentic street tacos. Cal-Italian cuisine. Hunan Bistro’s fried rice. The pork belly and grape mini from State Bird Provisions circa 2013. Popeye’s of course. Bambas too.

I’m also going to miss unexpected hugs. Al Green’s Simply Beautiful. Cherries in July. Tracing a sleeping eyebrow. Smoking cigarettes. The Golden Gate Bridge at sunset. That first sip of iced cold brew in sticky August. Making eye contact with people walking down the street. When songs feel like they’re speaking to your soul. Jeopardy. Saying I love you. Late night junk food binges. Shooting the shite. And especially the no-destination-in-sight long walks.

No GoFundMes, no funeral, no tributes, no doing-too-much please. All I ask now is for you to have one delicious (I mean a really really great) meal in my honor and let me go, no exceptions.

It’s selfishly time for me to be happy and I know you can get down with that. Please try to remember me as a whole human you shared memories with and not just my final act. This is not your fault. It’s not exactly easy for me either, I’m here for you. I love you. I always have and I always will, I promise. Shikata ga’nai.

I’m coming home, Dad. Make some room up on that cloud and turn the Motown up.

I’m really sorry mama.

Always, TLC


Image: https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1yjGJx7kJBY/XFMmF4FQ4KI/AAAAAAAAEoU/GXWkirwp4PI6hfsldVaR2vQGgR7sIDBnwCLcBGAs/s1600/tara-condell1.jpg



Link to her blog

Link to news story


The Torch
LSU Fan
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
10107 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
WHI if she took her pills


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7025
777Tiger
LSU Fan
Member since Mar 2011
38703 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
guess that's why the long face


PiscesTiger
Seton Hall Fan
Concrete, WA
Member since Feb 2004
42665 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Good God. People look and seem like they have it together. And then...zam.


Jcorye1
Detroit Mercy Fan
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
53721 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Really fricked up way to leave your mom the note. Nothing like 10,000 plus readers finding out before your widowed mother finding out.


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1644
chinhoyang
LSU Fan
Member since Jun 2011
15689 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
sad

"Matter of fact" suicide notes are very disturbing.



This post was edited on 2/1 at 10:27 am


scott8811
LSU Fan
Ratchet City, LA
Member since Oct 2014
4592 posts
 Online 

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
That's a really confusing and sad note to read...just why??


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373
Walking the Earth
Member since Feb 2013
15698 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
It's terrible that she takes the time to list the things she's going to miss (the things worth living for) and then kills herself anyway.

Depression is a horrible disease.


Jim Rockford
LSU Fan
Member since May 2011
70173 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
The only one I ever read was matter of fact, almost detached. Just how he wanted his property disposed of and that he didnt want a funeral. No explanation, no apology.


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150
jdd48
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2012
13378 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Very sad, and likely something that could have been prevented. For those that have never experienced detachment, it can be an extremely frightening experience. The inability to feel or express emotion is about as scary as it gets when it comes to depression symptoms.
This post was edited on 2/1 at 10:31 am


WestCoastAg
UCLA Fan
President, Braden Mann Fan Club
Member since Oct 2012
109331 posts
 Online 

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
thats rough to read


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231
tiggerthetooth
Houston Astros Fan
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
38559 posts
 Online 

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Attractive girl. Sounds like she may have spent too much time in cosmopolitan city areas.




atxfan
LSU Fan
Member since Jul 2004
2092 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
It starts off reading like she can't find joy in life and then she lists off a ton of things that seem to bring her joy. Overall, it sounds like she has an eating disorder or some body image issues, but she's skinny and cute. Really strange but not as depressing as expected.


oleheat
LSU Fan
Sportsman's Paradise
Member since Mar 2007
8314 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
That is just bizarre. She lists all the things she loves about life- and then ends her life?

Everyone has problems, but damn....This is never the correct answer. I wish she'd have at least sought help before making her existence end.


ThatMakesSense
LSU Fan
Texas
Member since Aug 2015
12887 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
She's Chinese?


RogerTheShrubber
LSU Fan
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
173396 posts
 Online 

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
quote:

I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper. I’m fortunate to eat meals most only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction. I live alone in the second greatest American city (San Francisco, you’ll always have my heart). However, all these facets seem trivial to me. It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people; I also felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life.


Achievers who rarely struggle are probably at the high end of suicides. Pain teaches more than success ever will.


Diseasefreeforall
Miami (FL) Fan
St Clair Co
Member since Oct 2012
166 posts
 Online 

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
The only true freedom we have in life is the right to take our own lives. Everything else is conditional.


TygerTyger
LSU Fan
Houston
Member since Oct 2010
5957 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Depression and mental illness is a terrible thing. It's still such a mystery to our current scientific abilities.

It's hard to diagnose, hard to treat, and hard to break the fricked up societal stigmas that still exist here in the 21st century.

If you have even some of the thoughts/feelings that she speaks about in this note, SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP!

You're not alone, and you aren't the only one who has gone through this.



LNCHBOX
LSU Fan
70001
Member since Jun 2009
54520 posts
 Online 

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
quote:

good looking depressed girls are my fetish.

she's not the only one hung right now.


Trash post is trash.


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5012
Pecker
Tennessee Fan
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
11948 posts

re: Online blogger and dietician posts suicide note to her blog, then hangs herself
Nothing like a good suicide note to get your day started


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