re: Nothing is more depressing than a dragged-out job search

I fricking hate the term “network” because it brings up images in my head of the douchebag in the sports coat with no tie schmoozing at a National conference. But you need to network as in ask a hardworking friend at xyz business to vouche for you when you apply there.

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Very egg-citing

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I can't be efriends with you after that.

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You should sit in on the year-end reviews... Damn, I'm such a suck-up to me. But as a boss, I love it.

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But this is pretty good.

Should have got sleeves instead of face tats

Mine took just over 2 years after I got my Masters. Been at the job 4 years and want to move on but haven’t found anything else. fricking miserable

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So, bypass the HR bullshite.

Go and network. Go out into the world and talk with everyone. Find the ones that actually make the decisions. Buy them a drink, make jokes, build a rapport.

Then spill the truth, you’re a man with a family looking for a job. Sell yourself. Convince them you are an asset that they need, to frick all the HR bullshite, pull some strings and get you an interview with the people that matter.

When they tell you to contact HR make them shake your hand and tell you it’s not going to get thrown into the pile, it’s going to go to the decision makers.

Make them tell you no. Insist upon yourself

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This is a work in progress, since so many of my professional connections are in the industry I want to leave any my personal connections aren't in this area, but I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone.

I was a nose to the grindstone, shut up and do the job guy for basically 10-12 years. I trusted that my bosses saw what I was doing, valued that work, and were advocating on my behalf - I was incredibly naive.

I'm naturally quiet and unassuming, but I've worked hard to change that. First with my direct reports, trying to build a list of people that worked under me (shwing!) and then with vendors and 3rd party people and the occasional corporate person. Sometimes just something as simple as "How did you get to where you are?" or "Do you know of any current openings?"

One of those tips you find online about changing jobs/getting a job thats so obvious it makes you feel like an idiot if you aren't doing it all the time - let the people around you know you're actively looking for a new job.

Best advice is to go on Linked in and pay for someone to write your resume. You can request a quote and will get one from 3 companies. While it feels like a waste of money, these companies are experts at getting your resume through the applicant tracking software.

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Pretty sure all these HR gatekeepers see retail management 

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What sort of retail management?

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fricking hate the term “network” because it brings up images in my head of the douchebag in the sports coat with no tie schmoozing at a National conference.

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Exactly the image I imagine also.

I'm not a talker, I'm a dooer. I'm not going to blow you away with chitchat, but I'll get the job done every time. I hate networking.

List yourself as half black, baw.

Nobody will ever check it out.

You’ll be hired within a month.

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Best advice is to go on Linked in and pay for someone to write your resume. You can request a quote and will get one from 3 companies. While it feels like a waste of money, these companies are experts at getting your resume through the applicant tracking software.

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More good advice. Years ago when Monster.com was the Linked In, paying for this wasn't worth it. This seems like it is the answer today. Indeed.com seems junky.