re: Negotiating a raise. Edited for update

You should do what is best for you.

I don't know what your base salary is, but $50k increase in base pay is worth it even if you only stick around for a year or two.

Look at it this way. You can continue to work for your current employer or you can leave for 2 years and have an extra $100k and they'll probably take you back. If they don't, you still have an extra $100k and it sounds like you can find another job relatively easily.

Do it.

You can't know that the "offer" is truly real until the paperwork is signed and you are in their system preparing for onboarding.

You don't want to think it's secure, leave your current job, then the offer is rescinded.


The move is: Accept the new companies offer. Prepare your start date, all of that. Let them know you need 3 weeks between accepting the offer and the start date. After it's all done, then go to current employer and let them know you are putting in your 2 weeks notice because you've received a much higher offer at other company. Let them know you wish you could stay, love it at current company, but for your family you've got to take the money.

Then if the current company wants you, they beat the new role and you break it off with the new company. You've only pissed off a hiring manager at a company you've never worked at (and they have other candidates they can go back to). You didn't try to bluff anyone or ask for a raise, or give them an ultimatum.

In my experience this doesn't create bad will with the old company, if anything you gain respect as someone who is doing what needs to be done and has market value. Not playing games, just making moves.

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companies have a long memory and they won't forget you cornered them into matching that salary if they do keep you on and will look for the first opportunity to cut you later on

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This is completely inaccurate.

I've had several guys get poached from me and a few who told me they had higher offers and allowed me to beat or match. Typically when I give my guys a raise there's a spike in their production for a few weeks and a much better attitude. I have two guys who are absolute studs and we have yearly meetings a week before thanksgiving and I give them a raise and all the guys a bonus then so they can Black Friday shop for Christmas.


That helps keep the wolves away.

The reality is - they all have a family to support. Who am I to be mad about them wanting to do better for their families? I don't have that right.

As long as a fella is honest and straight up with me - I don't mind that conversation at all and I've let some guys go and wished them well. It's natural to feel a little upset initially but you just have to process the entirety of the situation.

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This is the problem with offering your current company to match.

Because if you’re doing X, and new company says we’ll pay you however much more to do X, then your existing employer is gonna want a lot more than X out of you if they match and retain you.

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Meh, the perk for them is they don't have to train his replacement and apparently have been getting a good deal for his services relative to the market rate.

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the perk for them is they don't have to train his replacement and apparently have been getting a good deal for his services relative to the market rate.

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More often than not, that’s not gonna be enough for leadership to not be annoyed (at best) with an employee that costs significantly more than he used to without doing any more work than he used to.

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More often than not, that’s not gonna be enough for leadership to not be annoyed (at best) with an employee that costs significantly more than he used to without doing any more work than he used to.

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Oh well, cost of doing business.

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The extent of my negotiations with the latter type is telling them im leaving after ive already set a start date with my new employer, followed by a brutally honest exit interview to hopefully help those stuck behind with the a-hole.

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That's what I just did an hour ago.

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They’ll be upset if you leave without giving them a chance to get you to stay.

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To me, that chance is given every day. If you have employees coming to you and saying hey I'm being offered 20-30% more than you're paying and I want you to match, then you've already failed. If your competition can afford that labor rate, but you can't, you have a leak somewhere that you need to fix.

I had an old boss who basically took the position that it was up to the employee to keep up with the market rate for their work and that management was never going to give you a raise unless it was requested.

I told him point blank that I'd never come to him for a raise, I'd just find a better paying job if money was an issue. Part of employing people is having a pulse on the market rate for labor.

I'll just go somewhere that is "happy" to pay me what the market says I'm worth vs having to do management's job for them and have them begrudgingly compensate me fairly.

Funny enough, even though he said many, many times that if anyone wanted more money, just come to him and they'd work with you to get you what you need etc. I know 3 people who were unhappy enough with their pay to ask for more. All 3 either quit or were "soft" fired within a month or two.

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There’s nothing wrong with telling current job that you’d like to stay but the money being offered is too much to ignore. If they’re mature and like you then they won’t be upset.

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Yep. As long as you are being professional.

Also, there are only so many times you can go to the well before your employer will basically tell you to leave. At a prior company after a few years there I received an offer for slightly more money that I planned on accepting because I was fearful my (then) boss was going to show me the door. Unbeknownst to me at the time there were issues with other employees (they were leaving/being fired) that made me indispensable to the company. That resulted in an unexpected raise and promotion.

4 years later I got another offer for slightly more money. I didn't really want to leave my current job, but I thought I could still use the offer as leverage for a pay bump. WRONG! My boss essentially told me to leave, which was awkward because I didn't want to leave and the money the other company was offering wasn't significantly greater. Ultimately, I swallowed my pride and stayed for the same salary. Lesson learned.

A few years after that a friend at another company was looking to hire and asked me to come on board. I was happy at my current job, so I essentially made an offer to the other company in that if they we're willing to meet my salary demand I would take the job. If not, I was staying put. The other company came close but didn't hit my number ($10k short). Still, the other company's offer was more than what I was currently making. Nevertheless, I didn't tell my current employer about the offer or try to use it for leverage.

Finally, a few years later I got an offer with a really good company for significantly more than I was making. There were no negotiations at that point. I penned a heartfelt letter to my then boss thanking him for all that he had done for me in my time working for the company and handed it to him along with my notice of resignation. My boss tried to get me to stay, but I (and he) knew the financials of the company and that he was not going to be able to come close to matching.

In short, make moves in your career that benefit you. But be selective in doing so and don't just chase the small bump in salary every couple of years. Otherwise, you run the risk of becoming unhireable because you have a history of job hopping.

Leave but don't burn bridges. Golfing buddy took a job with another company and blew up the bridge. 8 months later his old company bought his current company and he was assigned to his former manager. He was micro managed to the 10th degree.

He did all he could to find another job . It took him a long time and he told me to never let your emotions control you if you leave your company for another.