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Posted on 7/18/19 at 8:59 pm to Golfer
quote:
She’s reached that point and you haven’t. Y’all need to actually have a candid, adult discussion otherwise you’re heading down a path that ends in divorce.
If it's not a troll, and OP doesn't have a mindset change soon, this will happen.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 9:05 pm to JohnnyKilroy
Just to clarify, I’m not 100% on wife’s side here. I’m just stating where she is from her perspective.
She’s exhausted from you being gone 6 of the last 8 weeks, hears the kids say things like “I wish dad was home”, all while knowing y’all don’t have any debt and would rather you make less and be more selective in your travel than chase the next dollar.
You can likely communicate WHY you need to continue busting arse but if it’s “because you’re never satisfied” that’s not going to cut it. If you can say “If I continue at this pace for the next 2 years, I’ll have $x in the bank and can cut back and hire someone to run the firm” you may be able to come to an agreement.
She’s exhausted from you being gone 6 of the last 8 weeks, hears the kids say things like “I wish dad was home”, all while knowing y’all don’t have any debt and would rather you make less and be more selective in your travel than chase the next dollar.
You can likely communicate WHY you need to continue busting arse but if it’s “because you’re never satisfied” that’s not going to cut it. If you can say “If I continue at this pace for the next 2 years, I’ll have $x in the bank and can cut back and hire someone to run the firm” you may be able to come to an agreement.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 9:08 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Bunch of dumbassery in the responses, but this is correct, I believe. I am going to build the house and get her a car first and I think she’ll warm up to living the high life. Then I’ll get the S63 or whatever the flavor of the day is.
Notice anything here?
This post was edited on 7/18/19 at 9:09 pm
Posted on 7/18/19 at 9:18 pm to FightnBobLafollette
It’s called common sense relative to his point. He can’t win apparently
Posted on 7/18/19 at 9:19 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:How about this...what you posted in January...
Alright, Dave Ramsey. You don’t have enough info to offer meaningful advice.
quote:Invest the money you'd waste on a Mercedes. As I said, nice cars are merely cars in the end. My 1996 Corvette Grand Sport, car. My 2006 LS430, car. Your Mercedes, car.
I’m 43 and don’t have $1 invested in the markets.
This post was edited on 7/18/19 at 9:21 pm
Posted on 7/18/19 at 9:48 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
You have a great life. I’d consider listening to her intuition
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:01 pm to bulldog95
I’d say count your blessings.There are plenty of women that would spend you into the “poor house” so fast you wouldn’t know what hit you.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:01 pm to IAmNERD
You sound like a money grubbin’, self absorbed, materialistic, “keepin’ up with the Joneses”, morally bankrupt a-hole.
Just sayin’...
Just sayin’...
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:10 pm to Jake88
Still don’t have a dollar in the markets. I’m not giving my money to some random company and hope they do well with it. I’ll partner with people who have a good plan and need capital, buy undervalued real estate, whatever else. The market is for people who are too lazy to build something themselves.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:15 pm to Sasquatch_Rooster
quote:
She sounds like the smart one. Grew up poor and now y'all have money and she See's you spending money faster than your making it. Slow down and invest in assets baw.
Maybe growing up poor had made her humble. She doesn't want to see the man she married turn into a white sunglass wearing, truck nut flashing, power boat driving, stuck up assclown who might get tired of being married after buying shite gets old and she gets traded in.
Dunno. Are her fears justified? Do you own a pair of white sunglasses?
Edited to add: do you do travel ball?
This post was edited on 7/18/19 at 10:17 pm
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:16 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Sees, and I already said it’s not a money argument. She thinks I’m becoming a different person and will always want bigger and more. It offends her sensibilites.
I don’t even know you and I agree with her.
If you can’t be satisfied where you are then you never will be no matter what you own.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:22 pm to Golfer
Golfer is correct. The problem is that you admit you will never be content. Always chasing after the next dollar or new car or bigger house. You think those things will make you happy. Here’s a little secret for you. If you aren’t already happy they aren’t going to make you happy. They will just make you more comfortable while you continue to chase happiness.
What you need is to find joy and contentment in your life. It is obvious you aren’t at that place in life. Figure out what is going to bring you those things. And not material things. Material things rust and break and get stolen and get lost. You place your hope for happiness I material things and you will never be satisfied with your life.
As for your wife- you say you both come from humble beginnings. That caused you to never be satisfied. You always want more because you felt you didn’t have enough. On the other hand, your wife has learned the valuable lesson that she can be happy with or without. Happiness comes not from chasing and getting what you want. It comes from wanting and appreciating what you have.
Now that I’ve said all that- there is absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself if you can afford it. However, when you are married and are not on he same page with these things that is a big problem. You and your wife have different values. You need to have some serious conversations about this and find common ground.
What you need is to find joy and contentment in your life. It is obvious you aren’t at that place in life. Figure out what is going to bring you those things. And not material things. Material things rust and break and get stolen and get lost. You place your hope for happiness I material things and you will never be satisfied with your life.
As for your wife- you say you both come from humble beginnings. That caused you to never be satisfied. You always want more because you felt you didn’t have enough. On the other hand, your wife has learned the valuable lesson that she can be happy with or without. Happiness comes not from chasing and getting what you want. It comes from wanting and appreciating what you have.
Now that I’ve said all that- there is absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself if you can afford it. However, when you are married and are not on he same page with these things that is a big problem. You and your wife have different values. You need to have some serious conversations about this and find common ground.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:25 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
I got my wife a half carat diamond when I was broke af and she won’t even let me get her something nice for our 15th. I’m trying to figure out what’s up.
Vacations- shared experience
New house- creating a home together
Upgraded ring- mostly benefits her only
S class car- mostly benefits you only
She values things that bring benefits to the entire family, not just one person.
You have a good woman who fell in love with you for you, not what you could provide. Perhaps the thought of her husband becoming a materialistic person conjures up fears of something she witnessed in the past. Maybe she's worried you won't be happy just upgrading things, maybe she is the next to go. Maybe she is worried that the more you have, the more you have to lose. And if you aren't happy with what you have now, how miserable will you be if it is all lost?
Fear is the root of anger, figure out what her fear is work from there.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:33 pm to Ric Flair
quote:
you sound like you used to be a “finance an F250
F350s and I paid cash for the last 2 (2001-present). Funded my company with cash. bought the land with cash, built current house with cash. I don’t do debt. Sorry to dissapoint.
As for the Jones’, there are none where I live. I’m on a plot of land with no neighbors in a small town outside of Nashville. There are some country music people that own land nearby, but we don’t ever see each other. I’m the only Jones. Everyone we associate with is middle, upper middle class.
What it comes down to is that I want a comfortable, quiet, large car with 500hp, and I like the way the s-class looks. I don’t find many modern cars attractive. That’s all there is to it. Hell, I was asking on here about large luxury vehicles a couple months ago and the OT is the reason I even started looking at the S-class. Now, all of a sudden, you can only get one if your a kingpin or old. Plus, I can get S63 with really low miles for 60-70k, which isn’t outlandish for a car. I’m sure there are plenty people here that drive 60k vehicles.
I have lots of contacts and can GC the house build, so that’s a no brainer. I’ll do it with cash and it will appraise for significantly more than it costs to build.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:37 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
I’m sure there are plenty people here that drive 60k vehicles.
And their spouses probably supported the purchase.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:47 pm to Benne Wafer
quote:
Fear is the root of anger, figure out what her fear is work from there.
Fear is that she probably doesn't think she's adequate for him. He got lucky the last few years, becoming successful, gone, he probably puts more effort into job- realistically for her- but she is probably feeling left behind or she doesn't want that type of lifestyle. Shes happy on vacay with him, but then when they are back, hes probably not 100% on her. Get a new wagon and he will want to show it off, she probably doesn't want that.
The writing is there, your wife wants him, doesn't care about money, and probably worried about his head getting too big, which will indeed draw attention from others, which will take even more away from her. She sounds like a good wife, but settled down.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 10:51 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
So you’re the guy building those Aspen dental clinics in random places on pieces of expensive prime real estate.
Posted on 7/18/19 at 11:04 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
So the fruit of your labor can buy an S class and a double wide? Neighbors at the park will be jelly
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