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re: Men who get married and let themselves go
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:42 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:42 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
Married with 3 kids here.
It's not impossible to stay in great shape but its way more difficult. You simply lack the motivation bc you dont have to. If you marry the right one, she loves you even more after you gain 15lbs and the funny thing is you feel the same about her. My motivation now isn't sports, girl, swimsuit, etc. Now I work out because I have a family that needs me healthy to provide for them.
Also, you're idea of "working out" changes. I was an athlete growing up and did the usual ridiculous workout stuff for conditioning. Now I've started "working out" again the past 3 years but it isnt nearly the same thing. I'll do 30 min of bench, curls, tris and call it a day. Cardio or basketball a couple times per week.
As you get older your perspective changes.
It's not impossible to stay in great shape but its way more difficult. You simply lack the motivation bc you dont have to. If you marry the right one, she loves you even more after you gain 15lbs and the funny thing is you feel the same about her. My motivation now isn't sports, girl, swimsuit, etc. Now I work out because I have a family that needs me healthy to provide for them.
Also, you're idea of "working out" changes. I was an athlete growing up and did the usual ridiculous workout stuff for conditioning. Now I've started "working out" again the past 3 years but it isnt nearly the same thing. I'll do 30 min of bench, curls, tris and call it a day. Cardio or basketball a couple times per week.
As you get older your perspective changes.
2
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:44 pm to Pecker
quote:
The BBC is lurking
You rang? Nothing like a white girl with good credic.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:45 pm to Pecker
quote:
Now tell me how out of shape you are. Then tell me the reasons. And lets work through this.
I'm not out of shape, I'm just bowing to reality. I have a disc problem and severe sciatica from an injury suffered when I was in my 20's. At that time I was in extremely fit shape. Fit enough to do Ride The Rockies after physical rehab at age 30. I now walk 35 miles a week minimum. This holds the sciatica at bay. My cardio is excellent. I eat very well (the last month being an exception as I have been holding vigil in hospice with a loved one that died last week). I take one medication and my blood work is consistently excellent. My physical issue is more an issue of decreasing flexibility, and coming to terms with my limitations, and I am in the process of working that out. I have had to admit to myself for instance that I can't trail run any longer, without injuring myself further. And that my old exercise regimen just injures me now and that I don't bounce back like I once did.
Any sincere and wise help that anybody can offer me in any aspect of my life is always appreciated. Condescension and self-regard I can get from any loser, however. Have the mindfulness to enjoy your blessings as I have the mindfulness to accept my limitations and to be grateful for mine as well. You will understand that some day. I promise you.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:45 pm to goldennugget
quote:
quote:
Some dudes try, but I see a lot of dudes being like "what do I need my looks for? I'm married with kids." Bruh... if you're ok being a cuck for Jamal and Dontavious then by all means continue.
You nailed it
Women will lose attraction if you become a skinny fat or just plain fat lazy type. So to be satisfied sexually she will seek out side cock from guys who get her tingles engine revved up.
Its why you have to run dread game on her. Dread means keeping yourself in good shape and as attractive as you can be so she also feels compelled to do the same or she may lose you because she fears you will leave her for a hotter woman
Yea I'll take advice from the single red piller
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:46 pm to Lsupimp
I can give you 2-3 sentences tops. Honestly. That's as far as I get.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:47 pm to goldennugget
quote:
"I am 28 years old, married to a wonderful guy who is 30. He is perfect, he basically worships the ground I walk on, is a good provider, and is sooo nice to me. However its just that I have found myself not attracted to him anymore and I don't know why. Because he has all the qualities you could want in a man - nice, caring, sweet, loving, good provider... so I just can't understand why I don't "love" him anymore. I mean I love him, but I don't love him. The attraction is gone... I always make up excuses not to have sex, and only give in once a month or so and its just starfish sex... anyway I feel terrible because I was at the gym and there is this guy there who is just... perfect. I find myself extremely attracted to him... Great body, hot, tattoos, 6 pack, muscles, very masculine. I don't know what he does for a living but he just gets me wet. Anyway one day after I worked out he asked me if I wanted to get coffee... one thing led to another and we ended up fricking on my own bed. It just... happened. Why I don't know. I had to frantically wash the sheets after so my husband wouldn't see the cum stains. I feel awful for cheating on my husband, but at the same time, it was the best sex I have had since getting married. If my husband can't satisfy me sexually, should I leave him?"
And of course all the replies are basically saying YOU GO GIRL and saying that its the husbands fault, blah blah blah. When if the genders were reversed, all the replies would shame the man "HOW DARE YOU CHEAT"
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:50 pm to PT24-7
quote:not to speak for the OP, but I don't think this thread is about guys who gain 15 lbs as they enter middle age.
It's not impossible to stay in great shape but its way more difficult. You simply lack the motivation bc you dont have to. If you marry the right one, she loves you even more after you gain 15lbs and the funny thing is you feel the same about her.
I think it's about the men who gain 30-40 lbs within a few years of getting married.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:53 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
I think it's about the men who gain 30-40 lbs within a few years of getting married.
when this happens, the wife almost always is in the same situation
its really hard to stay fit and healthy when your partner is not on the same page
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:55 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
I think it's about the men who gain 30-40 lbs within a few years of getting married.
Yep. It's the dudes who give up and pretend it doesn't matter if they completely let themselves go. I see it at work everyday.
Then I also see the guys at work with 3 kids under the age of 10 in their late 30's early 40's who are in fantastic shape. I understand it takes work but all good things in life take work.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:56 pm to Salmon
quote:
its really hard to stay fit and healthy when your partner is not on the same page
That's just another excuse. You're not even one of those guys though. You already admitted you didn't completely defile your body and use your children as an excuse.
As difficult as it can be, you watch what you eat. Sure you've gained a few but you're not a slob. You're basically making my case for me.
This post was edited on 2/8/17 at 12:58 pm
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:56 pm to Salmon
I agree, but I guess I'm of the mindset if they're healthy and still love each other then I don't see the problem. I've seen friends who went through this but still love each other and have never been happier. They don't have to be attractive to you, just to each other.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:58 pm to Pecker
The funny thing about this thread, is that you are completely wrong in one major assumption.
I'd bet good money that those in great shape are way more likely to cheat than anyone in average shape. Staying in moderate shape, moderate working out, and eating well is certainly important.
But those that live for the gym and especially wives that live for the gym, are way more likely to cheat in my experience.
ETA: Give me two wives at 35, one that could stand to lose 5-10 lbs and one that works out 6 days a week, takes eating healthy overboard, and dresses like a 25 year old. You tell me who is more likely to cheat?
I'd bet good money that those in great shape are way more likely to cheat than anyone in average shape. Staying in moderate shape, moderate working out, and eating well is certainly important.
But those that live for the gym and especially wives that live for the gym, are way more likely to cheat in my experience.
ETA: Give me two wives at 35, one that could stand to lose 5-10 lbs and one that works out 6 days a week, takes eating healthy overboard, and dresses like a 25 year old. You tell me who is more likely to cheat?
This post was edited on 2/8/17 at 1:00 pm
Posted on 2/8/17 at 12:58 pm to Pecker
quote:
That's just another excuse.
yeah...I'm aware
just stating that the phenomenon of a man letting himself go, while the wife stays fit, is rare
quote:
You're not even one of those guys though. You already admitted you didn't completely defile your body and use your children as an excuse.
As difficult as it can be, you watch what you eat. Sure you've gained a few but you're not a slob. You're basically making my case for me.
if my wife wasn't on board with me, not sure I wouldn't be 40+ lbs heavier though
of course...if she never got on board, she wouldn't be my wife
This post was edited on 2/8/17 at 1:00 pm
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:00 pm to Salmon
When I see someone who was in pretty good shape in high school (likely an athlete) get married in their early 20s and immediately add 25 lbs, I can't help but lose a little respect.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:03 pm to Carson123987
9gag, the experts of being virgins
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:04 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
meh
really hard to compare the body of a 16 year old playing sports all the time to a 27 year old working full time
really hard to compare the body of a 16 year old playing sports all the time to a 27 year old working full time
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:06 pm to Salmon
I feel like I'm in the middle of this. Working out has always been important to me and at 45 I'm still in the same jean size I was in high school. But now every time I lift I get shoulder pain to the point where it wakes me up at night, so I can see where I am going to need to adjust the way I work out.
And my wife of 16 years is bought in as well and I know it's not fair to her; I can take a month off, eat what I want and exercise for about a month and drop the weight; she can watch what she eats and routinely exercise and plateau. I honestly believe she is doing all she can but can't drop the last 10 vanity pounds. Luckily she's still willing to eat right; if she just gave up and we ate poorly I know I wouldn't be in as good shape as I am.
And my wife of 16 years is bought in as well and I know it's not fair to her; I can take a month off, eat what I want and exercise for about a month and drop the weight; she can watch what she eats and routinely exercise and plateau. I honestly believe she is doing all she can but can't drop the last 10 vanity pounds. Luckily she's still willing to eat right; if she just gave up and we ate poorly I know I wouldn't be in as good shape as I am.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:11 pm to goldennugget
quote:
Dread means keeping yourself in good shape and as attractive as you can be so she also feels compelled to do the same or she may lose you because she fears you will leave her for a hotter woman
this one has worked well for me.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:22 pm to PT24-7
quote:
As you get older your perspective changes.
not to mention your ability. If you think most men/women in their 40s are going to hit the gym with the same vigor and physical capabilities one does in their 20s and 30s, your kidding yourself. Not that there aren't people who can and do, but they are the exception not the rule.
I certainly agree with the OP that a person shouldn't just turn to shite, but most people aren't gonna do at 40+ what they did in their 20s. Point being, a bit of a paunch is inevitable unless you are extremely lucky.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 1:25 pm to bayoudude
quote:
Get an office job working 10 hour days and you don't feel like doing shite when you get home but drink a beer and unwind.
So don't be a fatass at work?
quote:
The motivation level to workout drops way down the priority list.
Working out is great for you, but you're not getting fat because you're not working out. You're getting fat because you're overeating.
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