re: Measure of Wealth and Success

Life is about groups, big and small.

A lot of really good points in here. One thing I’ve learned is Happiness is a choice, you have to choose to be happy or as some say, let yourself be happy. I’m successful and moderately wealthy but with both of those come new issues and stress. That may also be more because what I define as successful. Neither are the main drivers for happiness. They do contribute though.

I used to measure my success by the fact that I wanted my kids to graduate college debt free. This held my wife and I back, not that this is a negative on our families, we just want to be able to help out kids out in a way we didn’t have.

Now I’ve moved that goal post on to my grandkids. So that in of itself makes my success. Hopefully I will push additional goals out further as I accomplish them

To me success overall is being in a better spot then where your parents were. So it’s different for everyone. Take an inner city kid who grew up in a single parent household. If that kid graduates high school, learns a trade and makes a decent living doing say AC or plumbing work. Takes care of his family and so on. I’d say that’s a success.

Same scenario would not be a success for say Gordon McKernans son. Or anyone like that just using Gordon bc he’s well known. So success to me is all relative.

Wealth is not relative like Success in my opinion. It’s a hard number and you either have it or you don’t. Can’t say that you’re wealthy bc you live lifestyle you want and don’t worry about anything. Bc maybe that’s the case but you’re spending all of your money to live said lifestyle and not saving any money for retirement. Trying to finance every vehicle for 8 years to keep up with the Joneses etc. That’s not wealthy to me. It also varies by households. A single guy making 80K a year is more wealthy than a married guy who makes 100K a year and his wife stays at home with their 2 kids. Even though married guy makes more the single guy is wealthier.

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I came from a family of 5, household income of <$50k, and immigrant family. My measure of success is doing better for myself and my family than my upbringing. Bottom line.

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I was raised by a single mother on a teachers salary, not poor by any means, but mom definitely had to say no a lot. I do well, but living in a place like Houston can really mess with you in the comparison game. So I think, what would my 9 year old self from small town LA think about future him living on a golf course with a pool and my conclusion was “we rich!”. So be happy.

I’ve found it’s so easy to get caught up in the consumerism/never satisfied culture and it’s happens when you look outward for happiness instead of asking yourself what makes you happy.

For me, I value time a lot more in my late 30’s and doing interesting work. I’ve turned away job opportunities that payed double and we’re crushing hours, because what the hell incremental happiness can I get with that money vs. losing all that time?

Per Alan Jackson, a very wealth man:

"Its the people you love, not the money and stuff that makes you rich"

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Key is extracting the hunger and work ethic in my children so that I’m not raising some sissy shits who don’t appreciate what they have. There’s a balance

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We have our kids convinced that we are poor. I highly recommend it.

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How many people here consider themselves successful and/or wealthy...by your own definition?

I’ve always thought success is being the best at what is the most important to you. My relationships in life are the most important thing to me and I try to be the best at that. I’ve done well so I think I’m successful.

Wealth is a different story. Definition of wealth to me is the ability to live the life you want for the rest of your life. I’m not there yet. I’m living my best life but can’t say it will last forever.

What says you?

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I says you’re using the wrong metrics

Happiness is what everyone is looking for. Many people think all that equates to happiness, but it really doesn’t. It just makes happiness more fun, but wealth and success is just a tool. That is all, and only if your debt is far lower than your income or wealth. Many people on this very site have great success, and make a nice living, but are also in debt up to their ears, and that builds undue stress, which makes one unhappy.

The secret to all this is income to debt ratio, and even then, that doesn’t make one happy. It just makes being happy more fun.

I'm not in debt and am healthy. I would say I'm successful so far

Happiness is having something to look forward to. That can have something to do with money but not always.