re: Married OTers, if could go back to single, look for wife again. What would you value most?

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and i saw a missed spot on her wiping when we were making love one day

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always feel bad for those guys who marry some clearly very attractive woman but that's all she is. No hobbies outside of shopping/makeup.

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Looks fade, that hot sorority girl you married will eventually look like Renee Zellwegger.

Their family dynamic is important. Pay attention to their parents relationship. Are they married? Divorced? If so, why. All those issues in some way molded that person you are considering marrying.

Personality
Attractiveness
Career Goals (don’t marry a broke woman)
Financial Literacy
Religious Beliefs

Tits

Find someone that when you get a minute from the hectic pace of work, life, kids…all the shite…you immediately realize again how much you love but also like this woman.

Life is crazy and most of it probably won’t be like the first couple of years together especially if you meet/get married in your 20s.

I’m someone who very much enjoys being left alone. I like time to myself and all that good stuff. I knew I had the one when I found someone who I wanted to be with them more than I wanted to be alone. Don’t get me wrong, I still like having some time to myself each day but she’s super respectful of it and I still catch myself ready to be back with her at the end of it.

We don’t see eye to eye on everything which is fine and our major interests are vastly different but we always find middle ground and take the time to be interested in what the other person is interested in. I think when I saw how easy it was for us to work despite there being a lot of differences and the fact I was naturally prioritizing time with her over what I’d normally want to do that’s how I knew she was it.

All that to say if I could go back and change anything I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t want to end up with anyone different than who I have now. I’m happy. She’s happy. That’s all that matters to me.

Fitness

Look at her relationship with her parents. I think people tend to to look for "daddy" issues but overly involved parents can be just as bad.

I almost married a woman (cohabiting) who was overly dependent on her parents like a lot of middle class white American women are. I had to pay 100% of the bills while also cooking, cleaning up, and handling all the mechanical/handyman issues. She ended up leaving me because she was homesick and wouldn't take accountability for anything. She would quit jobs for dumb reasons and would expect me to foot the bill on top of cooking and constantly having to fix her car because she never did any proper maintenance to jt. I went off on her and told her she needed to contribute more financially or do more around the house and a week later she moved back to Louisiana to live with her parents. I'm just glad I dodged that bullet.

TBH, the signs were there. I just ignored them because I had a low self esteem and she was very attractive at the time.

I can relate to much of what you just posted.

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Dating apps suck. Matches are few and far between.

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Or the ones that I match with, or they initiate first -- whatever the situation, and then they don't text.

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I don’t have the type of game where I can walk up to a woman in the grocery store and chat her up.

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I've gotten better at this, partly because I challenged myself -- and partly because I am 50 and why not. The answer with always be no, or I wonder ... if I didn't ask.

I genuinely got very lucky with my wife. We are very similar yet different in which we complement each other.