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re: Married men of the OT, how many of you are single income HH?

Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:37 pm to
Posted by DamnGood86
Member since Aug 2019
949 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:37 pm to
Married 35 years. My wife worked about two years when we were first married, then raised kids.

Perfect scenario/outcome for us.
Posted by Dadren
Jawja
Member since Dec 2023
938 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:37 pm to
We were single income for nine years after our two youngest were born. My wife completed her masters and has been working for three years now.

I don’t mind her working, extra money is always a good thing but there are definitely aspects of her being a full time homemaker that I miss.
This post was edited on 1/29/24 at 2:38 pm
Posted by pdubya76
Sw Ms
Member since Mar 2012
5978 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:37 pm to
We’ve been single income for several years. My wife homeschools the kids and I work. Early on when she worked and we put our oldest in daycare. I hated dropping him off for someone else to take care of.
We decided that another person wasn’t raising our kids and adjusted accordingly. It’s worked out well and gives us a good bit of flexibility to take trips etc.
Posted by turnpiketiger
Southeast Texas
Member since May 2020
9466 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:39 pm to
quote:

Daycare has its upsides. You don't want to raise a hermit.


This is the truth. Keeping your kids from daycare is hurting them more than it’s helping them.

It’s healthy for their development to learn how to be around other children and adults. It’s not “letting another person raise your kids”.

We are a 2 income house hold. As another poster mentioned, we are around for everything possible. If work has a problem with that, then so be it. I’m not missing out on anything.
Posted by LaLadyinTx
Cypress, TX
Member since Nov 2018
6027 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:40 pm to
quote:

If I were a woman there is NO way in hell I would be subject to the whims of a man and not be capable of financially supporting myself. I would not want a wife who was in that position because far too many stay around just for security instead of being a family. There is just as much dysfunction in single family homes as there is in 2 family homes and in single income homes as there is in 2 or more income homes. The problem is the adults in each instance, not their being employed outside the home or not.

I am very proud that my daughter is being raised by a woman who is financially independent. It is my greatest hope for her in her life, to be financially independent and if she marries to do so for love and companionship, not 3 hots and a cot because that shite has proven fatal for way more women than women having a career has proved fatal for their kids. If a man is a daddy and not just a father he will pick up the slack...but thats too much to ask of many men.


100% It just amazes me that men don't think their daughter should be completely able to take care of themselves financially if needed. It's not about being independent or dependent. Instead, it's all about being a partner and not a subordinate in your relationship. Also, you never know the hand you will be dealt. The husband could die or be disabled. Anything could happen. I am a widow. I have other friends who lost their husband in their 40s or 50s. Some of them are really struggling because they don't have much earnings potential.

We were always there for our kids activities. I went to school parties and volunteered. Just because you work doesn't mean you aren't an active participant in your child's life. Good jobs also have good benefits and time off.
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
14216 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:41 pm to
I am and have been for 16 years. Wife is just now starting to look at some PT work.

We’ve probably missed out on some things over the years but we didn’t have strangers raising our kids. Also, school schedules are suck a mess I don’t see how people do it with two full time working parents.
Posted by JDPndahizzy
JDP
Member since Nov 2013
6446 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:41 pm to
quote:

Keeping your kids from daycare is hurting them more than it’s helping them.


Seriously??
Posted by DCtiger1
Panama City Beach
Member since Jul 2009
8778 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:42 pm to
quote:

My wife doesn’t work but she takes care of the house which is a pretty big job. Cooks, cleans, bills, all other house related items that come up. Makes everyones life easier. I make $400k+ a year so we don’t really need to have her work and stress out about the everyday stuff.


This guy
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10311 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:44 pm to
quote:

However, having a 20 year hole in your resume is not helping.
Substitute teaching or the local library are great options.
Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
14472 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:47 pm to
quote:

We both work but i pay all the bills does that count? All my kids are grown. Bout to trade that chicken dinner in for a new model. If my wife sees this my account has been hacked

Just screenshotted for a rainy day. May need some jags tickets for next season.
Posted by JohnnyKilroy
Cajun Navy Vice Admiral
Member since Oct 2012
35348 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:52 pm to
quote:

tigergirl10
quote:

Substitute teaching or the local library are great options.

iykyk
Posted by lepdagod
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
3397 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:53 pm to
It's 2024... both people need to working
Posted by lepdagod
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
3397 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:56 pm to
quote:

My wife has never worked


Must be nice... but I couldn't do it... is her friend group unemployed also... seems most educated women wouldn't be cool with being unemployed sitting at home all day doing nothing
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83583 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:58 pm to
quote:

seems most educated women wouldn't be cool with being unemployed sitting at home all day doing nothing


Posted by AUFANATL
Member since Dec 2007
3894 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 2:59 pm to
quote:

My wife is a surgeon. Her options were to move to Louisiana or somewhere South and we could have a nice life on my income or stay in the Northeast, have a very nice life and be close to her family. The trade off was that she would have to work.


Do I understand this correctly? Your wife went through pre-med, med school, residency, surgical internship and fellowship and considered moving to LA to be a stay-at-home Mommy instead of working as a surgeon, which required God knows how much time, energy and sacrifice to achieve?

That's insane. Once you start down that path, you are pot committed. If you want someone to be home with the kids then the non-surgeon can eat that bullet.
Posted by Epic Cajun
Lafayette, LA
Member since Feb 2013
32507 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 3:01 pm to
Dual income household here. My kid goes to a MDO program 9am-3pm Tuesday-Thursday. She stays with my MIL on Monday, and my wife doesn't work on Friday. I work from home so I drop her off and pick her up Tuesday-Thursday. It works for us.

We toured full time daycares and I wouldn't send my kid to any of those around here.
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
14216 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 3:02 pm to
quote:

just amazes me that men don't think their daughter should be completely able to take care of themselves financially if needed.


You don’t do this under the backdrop of having a viable escape plan.


quote:

Instead, it's all about being a partner and not a subordinate in your relationship



Running the house, kids and finances is a partner, not a subordinate.

quote:

The husband could die or be disabled


This is what life insurance is for. I’m worth more dead than alive.

I get what you’re saying but my wife and I BOTH thought it would be better for the kids than having to shuffle around with daycare as we didn’t have any grandparents that could take the load. I had the most earning potential so there you go.

She got a lot of one on one time with the kids when they were young that I only saw in videos. It was a lot of work for both of us but we still made the right decision.
This post was edited on 1/29/24 at 3:05 pm
Posted by lepdagod
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
3397 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 3:02 pm to
quote:

Your wife went through pre-med, med school, residency, surgical internship and fellowship and considered moving to LA to be a stay-at-home Mommy i


A colossal waste of time...
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83583 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 3:05 pm to
quote:

Instead, it's all about being a partner and not a subordinate in your relationship.


What kind of shitty husband views their SAHM wife as a “subordinate”?


Posted by DevilDagNS
Member since Dec 2017
2681 posts
Posted on 1/29/24 at 3:05 pm to
Yes, every since the first kid was born. Sucked in the beginning, but it also allowed me to concentrate fully on my work which has paid off in the long run. Would do it again.

She will likely go back once the kids are in high school, but that is totally up to her.
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