re: Married baws with kids; how often do you have to get away from the family for a few days?

Couple of months at a time.

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I'm married with two kids and I don't really get it either. Sure, I miss them the chances I do get to get away for a weekend, but that time away is a much needed break both my wife and I enjoy from time to time. Both of my kids are teenagers and it's a LOT easier to get away now than it was when they were infants or toddlers, so maybe the negative comments are from parents of kids those ages.

As for the OP question, I get a weekend away 2-3 times a year. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Only 1 weekend is planned a every year - weekend with the college buddies every summer.

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OP said his kids are 3 and 6. Leaving the other parent for an entire weekend with kids that age is a dick move.

I think you have a lot of people talking out of their arse in this thread. You either have guys with no kids saying what they think they would do. Younger parents with younger kids saying what they wish they could do. And older parents with older kids when things drastically change in a household.

I fall into the older parents with youngish kids category. I’m in my late 50s and I have 19 & 17yr old daughters. My wife and I have never left for weekends by ourselves. Probably because we were older and my wife had 2 complicated pregnancies with each child spending some extended time in the NICU. Your life experiences have a lot to do with how you parent. It’s not a bad thing to get away for a weekend with the boys but I was past that stuff when our oldest was born.

Why do you hate your family?

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Leaving the other parent for an entire weekend with kids that age is a dick move.

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I think it's fine if you reciprocate and keep the kids while your spouse gets a weekend away.

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I’m really amazed by the replies here

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It’s not surprising that most here are the best at being a father since they are the best at literally everything else as well

Even my super Baptist teetotaler dad would take fishing trips a couple times a year

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My wife and I have been without all 3 kids one weekend in 11 years

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this is the type of shite that can ruin marriages. especially after the kids leave.
Make sure both of you get some time to feed your "just you two" relationship. Or it'll get awkward real fast after they're off to college

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If your spouse can't handle two kids at those ages for two nights and it would be considered a dick move those kids must be hell on wheels.

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Riiiiight.

I’m not judging. I just don’t get the need a break part as if someone put a gin to your head and made you have multiple kids.

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Newlywed 12 years ago.
I just realized early on that my family brings me more happiness than the selfish and materialistic pursuits of my youth.

Instead of excluding them to do things I like, I include them, and we can share that time and build those memories together.

Excluding my wife, the kids won't be around forever; they'll move on to their own families. I'll have plenty of alone time in the future. Why waste that precious time now?

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My thoughts exactly.

My kids aren't going to be young and obsessed with spending time with daddy forever, so I don't want to waste a minute of it.

My kids largely participate in our hobbies. My son is obsessed with hunting and plays sports, and my kids go with us whenever we go to something like a sporting event, outing or trip. I have a yearly guys trip where I take a few buddies such hunting for a weekend, but that's the only pure "I'm out of the house doing my own thing" type of weekend all year.

Some of this is predicated on your upbringing. I grew up in a single parent home where we did everything as a family, and my dad wasn't involved much in my childhood. I'm used to doing things as a family, but also trying to be the dad I didn't have.

This thread is wild. Never would have predicted the responses. I have some great memories of going to my grandparents house to stay for the weekend and going to summer camp. I would hate if my kids couldn't experience the same. Teaches them to adapt and communicate with other people not just their parents. The wife and I go camping with kids one weekend every month and are on a perpetual cycle of extra circular activities/sports for the kids. If she's stressed from work her and her friends will make a New Orleans trip once/twice a year...if I want to go fishing/hunting I'll take a trip once/twice a year. Its no big deal. Actually having time with all the kids when its just me is a really fun thing. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you change. Mental health is important and YOU must decide what is required to keep yourself right. What works for one husband wife team doesn't work for the next. Just keep your pulse on each others happiness and be flexible to accommodate. Whats most important is you and your wife...if you aren't happy the kids never have a chance.