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Is anyone else dealing with an aging parent becoming a curmudgeon

Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:43 pm
Posted by Ham And Glass
Member since Nov 2016
1518 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:43 pm
I visited my father this weekend and left worried about him. First, my dad has a spotless record of being a well-respected and upstanding man. He's in his late 70's, but very sharp. He's married to a younger woman and is very active. But lately he seems to be overenjoying one of the key perks of old age: saying what is on his mind and not caring what people think.
When I arrived, I brought up my brother and dad immediately started telling me how disappointed he was with my brother's career change, saying 'I told him earlier that he's hyper-active and should find some ADHD medicine right away." I sort of laughed but noticed that this kind of talk had become a trend. Later that night we went on an errand and he flashed his brights at about 1 car out of every 3 or 4 that passed. When I told him that cars just have brighter lights he said, "You think I don't know that? I'm holding these a__holes accountable. The brights are out of control these days!"

On another trip, he asked some kid why he was leaving his grocery cart out in the middle of the parking lot. There's more, but is this kind of thing normal? TLDR/ Facebook: dad is kind of turning into a dick and I worry he may say something to the wrong person.
Posted by madamsquirrel
The Snarlington Estate
Member since Jul 2009
48614 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:44 pm to
My children may be dealing with this
Posted by Ingeniero
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2013
18287 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:45 pm to
I always misread the word curmudgeon as "cumdungeon" but after seeing
quote:

He's in his late 70's, but very sharp. He's married to a younger woman and is very active

It might be accurate in this case
Posted by OldHickory
New Orleans
Member since Apr 2012
10602 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:45 pm to
Your dad sounds like he posts on the OT.
Posted by p&g
Dixie
Member since Jun 2005
12995 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:46 pm to
What’s a curmdingeon

Sounds scary
Posted by Saintsisit
Member since Jan 2013
3932 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:48 pm to
quote:

On another trip, he asked some kid why he was leaving his grocery cart out in the middle of the parking lot.


Props to pops for this!
Posted by CHiPs25
ATL
Member since Apr 2014
2901 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:49 pm to
We have a family business and my brother and I are running it. My dad has somewhat stepped away and stays at our lake house most of the time. He gets wild hairs up his arse and decides to come in and change everything on a whim without consulting with my brother or I. Perfect example, I went to London earlier this year (pre-Covid) and he took that opportunity to redefine all of our processes while I was out of the country. He hasn’t been in the business in years’ and it’s changed since he was last there but continues to make changes like previous years.

He is 70 and doesn’t have any hobbies or friends so he’s around more than I want him to be. Unfortunately I can’t even hang out with him without him being the “boss”. Can’t tell you the last time I had a conversation with him where it didn’t always go back to the business.
Posted by LSUwag
Florida man
Member since Jan 2007
17319 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:51 pm to
It could be the beginning of cognitive decline. With men, it sometimes presents itself as anger and the loss of their filter. You might want to see that his physician is made aware.

Joe Biden is probably in the same stage. Notice how angry he is in inappropriate situations.
Posted by GeauxTigers0107
South Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
9730 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:52 pm to
Wish my Dad was still here to argue with
Posted by inadaze
Member since Aug 2010
4856 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 5:55 pm to
Based on those examples, he sounds like a funny guy.
I don't see a reason to worry.
Posted by TigerstuckinMS
Member since Nov 2005
33687 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:18 pm to
Dealing with?! I get pissed when I go to visit and there's not already an open chair and a glass of iced tea so I can join in.
This post was edited on 12/14/20 at 6:19 pm
Posted by AtticusOSullivan
Member since Mar 2016
2267 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:21 pm to
Just sounds like a man who isn't beta. Respect.
Posted by tigerinthebueche
Member since Oct 2010
36791 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:23 pm to
quote:

saying what is on his mind and not caring what people think.



Sounds like a perk of being an old person. I’d let it slide unless it’s going to lead to some type of loss for you or him personally. If he wants to tell you how much your brother sucks, who cares?
He’s old and tired of sugar coating shite for everyone else. I can understand.
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18806 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:27 pm to
Your dad sounds unhappy. Probably something or things he regrets and never worked through it. I’d set boundaries. Stand up to him and don’t let him be “the boss.”
Posted by MBclass83
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
9361 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:28 pm to
Are we related?
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
108534 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:29 pm to
quote:

But lately he seems to be overenjoying one of the key perks of old age: saying what is on his mind and not caring what people think.


I’m 32 and a little ahead of the curve on this.
Posted by texn
Pronouns: Y'All/Y'All's
Member since Nov 2019
3505 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:31 pm to
You only have a certain number of fricks to give during your lifetime. If you don't ration dem fricks properly, you end up outliving your fricks and have to spend living the remainder of your life without any fricks to give. Happens to a lot of people. It'll happen to me soon, as I am down to my last 3 fricks.
Posted by Geauxlden Eagle
125 miles W. of God's Country
Member since Feb 2013
2020 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:32 pm to
quote:

My children may be dealing with this ?


Mine definitely are.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10311 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:33 pm to
quote:

he’s around more than I want him to be
You won’t be saying that after he passes away.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48561 posts
Posted on 12/14/20 at 6:36 pm to
My dad says whatever pops in his head and also wears some crazy shite these days. His typical dress is a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, some kind of crazy socks and hiking boots.
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