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drexyl
LSU Fan
Mingovia
Member since Sep 2005
20180 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
quote:

Never ran in my life.
this could be a problem depending on your age and normal cardio activity level.


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10
geauxturbo
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2007
3054 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Hope you have the course layout. Haul arse for the first half mile then find a short cut. Not like you're going for a win, you're going to get laid. Cheat. Your only option.
This post was edited on 8/13 at 3:57 pm


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Chad504boy
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Feb 2005
132760 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
quote:

Ssubba


I would like to say thanks. This thread is mildly entertaining and original. I can't say that I can say that about many threads the past month.

In any case, i offer a few suggestions.

I would recommend you putting feet to the pavement this week and slow jogging a mile. Work on form and stamina and breathing. Get your body used to jogging and a mile distance.

Do heavy stretching before and after, maybe soak in an epson salt bath for recovery.

Gameday, i would recommend you offer running with her. That way you don't have to push yourself further than her limits which fear of pure embarassment would keep you motoring along.

I would approach the race with a mentality that you run at a pace that you won't stop the entire time. Try to run your last mile at a greater pace than the first. Start slowish, fight throught the first mile and half which may be the worst and push your body as you are within a mile.

Lastly, put bandaids on your nipples so that she knows in fact that you are a hard core runner. Novices would never think to do so.


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50
soccerfüt
Truth Detective
Member since May 2013
36052 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Don’t “Greta Waitz” yourself.



<———— 5k time today was < 24:00

I’m old enough to remember Vietnam draft lotteries live on TV.


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21
DeafJam73
USA Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2010
13666 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
You’re fricked.

quote:

Can bench 185lbs 3x5, if that matters.





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10
Dire Wolf
Houston Astros Fan
bawcomville
Member since Sep 2008
25713 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
quote:

its a slow jog with time to walk pace, i


10 minutes a mile is burning arse for the majority of Americans. Source I run 10 minutes and I burn people when I run at memorial park.


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60
Proximo
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Aug 2011
2764 posts
 Online 

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
quote:

What a stupid statement... ...pulled hamstring is the obvious answer. She will be looking for swelling on the sprained ankle...muscle pulls leave little to no evidence.


This doesn’t hold up if he is tagging it from behind later that night like a crazed animal. She’ll know he’s not being truthful

You ever get a charlie horse in your hammy doing that after deadlifts or leg curls? shite isn’t fun


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10
Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Kenna
Member since Dec 2007
59092 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Start off in a fast sprint. Get ahead of her because she will set a pace. Once you are far enough ahead do a wresting trip and land on your knee.
It will scrape and burn, but the race is over and it will heal.


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00
gumbo2176
Member since May 2018
4215 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
The heat is going to kick your ass. I seriously doubt you'll make the 3 miles if you haven't run that distance in a long time, if ever.

Next time, don't let your mouth write checks your arse can't cash. At least you won't look like a fool in the meantime when she sees you're full of shite.


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60
ksayetiger
Wisconsin Fan
Centenary Gents
Member since Jul 2007
53144 posts
 Online 

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Sprint out of the gate to get out of her eyesight.

Have bike stashed and ride the race.

Wait at finish line.


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EvrybodysAllAmerican
LSU Fan
Member since Apr 2013
6628 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Just run ahead of her and take a short cut.


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BRIllini07
Chicago Cubs Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Feb 2015
1076 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
If this race is a down and back chipped race, at a half mile in: fake a cramp, go one block over, and run back to the start area. DO NOT cross the finish line. Put a shirt on over your bib, and at the desired finish time walk through the finish line - but from the back side, not the front. Act like you’re cheering for some random person who’s just then crossing and are oblivious to the fact you’re on the route.


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01
Tangineck
LSU Fan
Mandeville
Member since Nov 2017
156 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Here is the problem OP, running a sub 10 mile is relatively easy for anyone in half decent shape, but running 3 miles in a row, with no break is where the problem is. I can guarantee most of the non-runners pontificating on here about how slow a 10 min/mile pace is are basing it on a mile or even a half mile on an elliptical or treadmill. Also, the difference in times at distance is definitely a sliding scale. I wouldn't be surprised if you can pull off 31 minutes. I'll be shocked if you go sub 29.


VetteGuy
LSU Fan
Member since Feb 2008
25470 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
He'd better do the first mile pretty good, but not over-fast.
If he can do it in 9:1x, he can build in some margin. Save something for that last 10th.

He ain't gonna get faster, that's for sure.


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10
ApexTiger
LSU Fan
cary nc
Member since Oct 2003
40452 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
just be honest about it before the date


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cssamerican
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Mar 2011
4680 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
If you can jog that distance you’re okay. If you have to stop and walk your done


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01
BobABooey
LSU Fan
Parts Unknown
Member since Oct 2004
5734 posts
 Online 

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
Buy a cheap knee sleeve and wear it without explanation. She’ll notice and maybe assume that you are recovering from some injury.

Buy some real running/jogging shorts instead of some gym shorts or basketball shorts. Wear a dri-fit shirt. Look like you’ve done this before.

Finally, like others have said, let her set the pace and run behind her. If she says that it’s sweet of you to do that to avoid embarrassing her, tell her that the only reason you did it was to stare at her ass.


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30
BRIllini07
Chicago Cubs Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Feb 2015
1076 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
The OT is an amazing place where the average male can deadlift 400lbs, run a 6 minute mile without trying, and we usually spend our days penetrating supermodels up and down our yacht. And that’s just us 40+ year olds; you young chaps ought to be doing better than that.


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101
Drew Orleans
LSU Fan
Member since Mar 2010
20898 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
A slow jog will have you finishing at about 31 minutes. Start at about a 6mph pace, push through the “wall” you will hit at mile 1-1.5 then ramp it up to 7.5 to 8 mph.


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07
Pedro
Wisc-Milwaukee Fan
the one and only
Member since Jul 2008
23119 posts

re: I lied to a girl I'm trying to impress, told her I can run a 5k in under 29 minutes (DONE)
You’re not going to break 40 so have fun with that


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