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re: Have your parents ever caught you doing anything sexual?
Posted on 5/14/19 at 2:57 am to marshallmadmen
Posted on 5/14/19 at 2:57 am to marshallmadmen
quote:
One day we were getting ready to eat hamburgers just waiting on my mom to come home. While waiting for her my gf put a tomato slice over each nipple and said I wonder if my nipples are bigger around than the tomato slices. For whatever weird reason she put them back on the plate. I yell at my twin sister not to eat tomatoes.
This post was edited on 5/14/19 at 2:59 am
0
Posted on 5/14/19 at 3:08 am to Bustedsack
quote:your dick has its own garage?
I tell my dick garage that
Posted on 5/14/19 at 3:22 am to Martini
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/14/19 at 3:24 am
Posted on 5/14/19 at 3:40 am to DavidTheGnome
I wasn't caught in the moment, but the (non) flushed condom got me.
Setting: I was 15 at the time. Lived in a big African home. There were cousins living with us and uncles/aunts always visiting. So it was nearly impossible to get some privacy, except in my parents bedroom.
Well this one time they both traveled, and left me with their bedroom key. I masturbated with a condom, and flushed it down the toilet...or so I thought.
When they came back, my dad saw it. Went off on my mom. My mom was like wtf, we were BOTH traveling how can you blame me. Well she confronts me, and in the spot, I had to come up with something....so I told her I was doing a experiment for the science club (which I was president of), that I learned there's liquid on the condom that becomes dark in the presence of light (WUT?).
My mom at that point didn't really care that it was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard, just wanted me to tell my dad when he got home from work that it was me.
So after talking to her I go to my room and write fake notes about this "science experiment" on a piece of paper. Then I ball the paper up and make it all wrinkly so the notes don't look fresh, then I bury it in my backpack. When my dad came back I told him the story then said "I'll see if I still have the notes from the meeting." then I acted like I was looking for it. "oh there it is." He didn't really say anything. I cringe every time I think about that.
Tl;dr: parents found a condom in their toilet, I told them I was doing a science experiment on the condom lube..."it darkens in the presence of heavy light."
Setting: I was 15 at the time. Lived in a big African home. There were cousins living with us and uncles/aunts always visiting. So it was nearly impossible to get some privacy, except in my parents bedroom.
Well this one time they both traveled, and left me with their bedroom key. I masturbated with a condom, and flushed it down the toilet...or so I thought.
When they came back, my dad saw it. Went off on my mom. My mom was like wtf, we were BOTH traveling how can you blame me. Well she confronts me, and in the spot, I had to come up with something....so I told her I was doing a experiment for the science club (which I was president of), that I learned there's liquid on the condom that becomes dark in the presence of light (WUT?).
My mom at that point didn't really care that it was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard, just wanted me to tell my dad when he got home from work that it was me.
So after talking to her I go to my room and write fake notes about this "science experiment" on a piece of paper. Then I ball the paper up and make it all wrinkly so the notes don't look fresh, then I bury it in my backpack. When my dad came back I told him the story then said "I'll see if I still have the notes from the meeting." then I acted like I was looking for it. "oh there it is." He didn't really say anything. I cringe every time I think about that.
Tl;dr: parents found a condom in their toilet, I told them I was doing a science experiment on the condom lube..."it darkens in the presence of heavy light."
Posted on 5/14/19 at 5:53 am to castorinho
Is it normal to wear a condom when you jerk off? Whats the point?
Posted on 5/14/19 at 6:09 am to DavidTheGnome
I made the mistake of giving my mom a spare key to my apartment when I moved out ... bad idea in hindsight. She walked on me and one of her friends daughters. Never heard her open the door, I just felt my back got cold then heard the scream.
Posted on 5/14/19 at 6:25 am to DavidTheGnome
My parents were out of town for a few days when I was probably 16. So my grandmother was staying at our house to watch us (I had younger siblings). Anyway Friday night my girlfriend was over “watching a movie” and my grandma walked upstairs and opened the door without knocking and she saw my girlfriend straddling me while I was sucking some titties. I think we both had our shorts on though, just tops off. Memaw was shocked as hell, but didn’t say anything when we walked down stairs a bit later so I could take my gf home.
Same girlfriend, a couple years later...we were at her parents house on a weekend afternoon and decided to go watch a movie. We told her parents bye, and headed out. Whatever movie we decided to see was sold out so we just went back to her parents. Well, when we left both her folks were sitting in the living room watching golf, and when we walked back into the house about half an hour later all the lights & tv were off. We couldn’t hear anything. We double checked and both their cars were in the garage. So she starts yelling out “mom” “dad” and no response. We start walking towards the back of the house where their room is when it just hits both of us all at once what was going down. A few moments later her very reserved and quiet mom walks into the living room wearing a robe with some serious sex hair going on. She probably said something like we thought you guys were going to a movie, and proceeded to make small talk. The whole time the dad just stayed in the bedroom probably pissed off because his daughter and her boyfriend just cockblocked his arse.
Same girlfriend, a couple years later...we were at her parents house on a weekend afternoon and decided to go watch a movie. We told her parents bye, and headed out. Whatever movie we decided to see was sold out so we just went back to her parents. Well, when we left both her folks were sitting in the living room watching golf, and when we walked back into the house about half an hour later all the lights & tv were off. We couldn’t hear anything. We double checked and both their cars were in the garage. So she starts yelling out “mom” “dad” and no response. We start walking towards the back of the house where their room is when it just hits both of us all at once what was going down. A few moments later her very reserved and quiet mom walks into the living room wearing a robe with some serious sex hair going on. She probably said something like we thought you guys were going to a movie, and proceeded to make small talk. The whole time the dad just stayed in the bedroom probably pissed off because his daughter and her boyfriend just cockblocked his arse.
This post was edited on 5/14/19 at 6:27 am
Posted on 5/14/19 at 6:37 am to DavidTheGnome
My hot stepmom busted me with the big tit neighbor lady. She joined in. It was amazing.
Posted on 5/14/19 at 7:02 am to DavidTheGnome
My junior year I dated this girl that lived next door to my football coach/English teacher. One day when we had some alone time, things escalated and I started banging her from behind in their kitchen. She was loud as hell and always screamed like her hair was on fire. I look up through the window and my teacher was in his driveway washing his car and staring at us. The next day he walked by me and said “ girls got lungs”. 
Posted on 5/14/19 at 7:36 am to DavidTheGnome
When I was in college and home for summer I’d go to a party and bring a girl home. My mom would wake us up the next morning and ask if we wanted breakfast
Posted on 5/14/19 at 7:44 am to deltaland
growing up my parents had a no girls in the house rule unless they were home. I was 15 and my girlfriend was 16. During the summer we went to a movie and she was dropping me off and I was getting some driveway head at about 3 in the afternoon. Parents were never home before 5 or 6. Well I guess this day my dad decided to get off work early and drove right past me getting head in the driveway. Never said a word and got out his truck and went inside. I walk in and he just says just don't let your mom catch cause I don't want to have to listen to her bitch.
Posted on 5/14/19 at 7:52 am to DavidTheGnome
My parents never did that I know of. Mom found my jerk rag in high school, but it was never mentioned. I just found it washed and folded with my other clothes one day.
Wife's mom made a comment to us at breakfast on a family trip once that we should try to be more quiet with our lovemaking(her exact words).
GF and I in college walked in on her parents doing it doggy style on the living room floor in front of the fire. I'm not sure I've ever laughed as hard as I did that night. GF was mortified.
Wife's mom made a comment to us at breakfast on a family trip once that we should try to be more quiet with our lovemaking(her exact words).
GF and I in college walked in on her parents doing it doggy style on the living room floor in front of the fire. I'm not sure I've ever laughed as hard as I did that night. GF was mortified.
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:00 am to BayouCatFan
quote:science?
Whats the point?
Who knows man
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:14 am to castorinho
quote:
quote:
I tell my dick garage
quote:
your dick has its own garage?
Yeah, my ex's mouth, or at least I thought it was.
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:27 am to DavidTheGnome
Senior year of H.S. I got out after third hour for work. Already had enough credits to graduate so three classes is all I needed the second half of my senior year. This girl I used to date did also and we decided to go get drunk one day we didn't have to work. My mother just got back from Dallas visiting my older sister and she would always bring back cases of Coors. She gave me one so this is what my friend and I drink. We went out to the lake for awhile then came back to our house. We had a pool so we jump in. Her with just one of my t shirts and panties, me nada. We fool around drunk having a good time and my mom walks into the pool area. I'm holding my friend in my arms just under water so my mom doesn't know I'm necked. She looks around doesn't say anything walks off. Dick was harder than times in 29.
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:36 am to Perrydawg
quote:
he just says just don't let your mom catch cause I don't want to have to listen to her bitch.
I think this is all dads lol. My Dad told me the same thing in HS when I snuck a girl in my room and he saw the small footprints outside my window the next day .
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:37 am to Mr Clean
quote:
Mom caught me pitching to a gnome one time.
You were effing a dwarf? Helluva thing to get caught doing....
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:38 am to VernonPLSUfan
Banged my girlfriend back in the high school days and just threw the condom under the bed when we had finished. I took the girl home and when I got back home my mom let me know that the dog had brought the condom into the living room and was swinging it around and rolling in it.
I was pretty embarrassed but mom just thanked me for being responsible enough to use a condom
I was pretty embarrassed but mom just thanked me for being responsible enough to use a condom
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:48 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
My hot stepmom busted me with the big tit neighbor lady. She joined in. It was amazing.
Yet you're still paying to touch stripper boob and make out?
Posted on 5/14/19 at 8:58 am to notiger1997
quote:
when I got back home my mom let me know that the dog had brought the condom into the living room and was swinging it around and rolling in it.
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