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re: Guy ridicules dating profiles of 40-ish women who “want kids someday”
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:21 am to Bjorn Cyborg
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:21 am to Bjorn Cyborg
quote:
Outside of all the fertility and health issues, how many potential 40-ish men want a baby?
I think early 40s men marrying 5 to 8 (or more) years younger are likely open to it, assuming they've delayed having children (or perhaps had children very young and then divorced with older/adult children). I mean, that's why younger, healthy, "fertile" women are attractive.
It's hard coded in the DNA.
1
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:23 am to Earnest_P
quote:
pretty much. happy for the dude.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:27 am to Ace Midnight
quote:
I think early 40s men marrying 5 to 8 (or more) years younger are likely open to it, assuming they've delayed having children (or perhaps had children very young and then divorced with older/adult children). I mean, that's why younger, healthy, "fertile" women are attractive.
It's hard coded in the DNA.
Yes, therein lies the rub.
The 40-ish men that want children are not marrying 40-ish women.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:29 am to Bjorn Cyborg
quote:
Yes, therein lies the rub. The 40-ish men that want children are not marrying 40-ish women.
Those women need a 55-60 year old who wouldn’t mind another kid. Rarer than hen’s teeth, I would guess.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:36 am to hubertcumberdale
quote:
plenty of women have kids in their 40s, and why would you want to waste your younger years having kids and being poor when you are trying to start a career and get ahead?
Not sure if this is some El Gaucho sarcasm, but if not, this is the saddest statement. The fact that a "career" (it's just a job) is somehow exponentially more important than creating your progeny is what's wrong with us as a society.
And also, a few of you don't realize that a human girl is born with every egg she'll ever have. Females don't regenerate them, ever. So at 40, you have a very small supply of really old eggs trying to get fertilized in a person on the brink of menopause. A 40 year old has like a 5% chance of getting pregnant (each month).
I don't care what modern medicine has been able to do for us. It may be possible for some women who have enough money for expensive fertility treatments. And to the person who said that all of a woman's 40's are "fair game" is just wrong. It doesn't work like that.
This post was edited on 1/10/24 at 9:38 am
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:37 am to Scuttle But
quote:
Well I'm no evolutionary biologist but the overeducated white women with no kids and a hot body at age 40 is almost purely a western phenomenon and we're being outbread at a pretty alarming rate.
We don't have a nation that prioritizes this, so it is hard to blame people who have dumb modern rat race mindset brains.
Countries like Hungary that are trying to boost their natural birth rate have policies to help families out.
Even Nazi Germany gave out economic advantages out to families to encourage them to have children.
The US is just a place to work, nothing else matters here than keeping the machine going. And we can import cheap skilled labor to do so.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:38 am to Bjorn Cyborg
quote:
Apparently lots of women either don’t understand biological clocks, or are just liars.
Why not both?
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:48 am to donRANDOMnumbers
quote:
Having a kid after 35 in general is dangerous for the mom. This is based on statistics.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
I think the OB community pours some water on the 35+ is dangerous thing because care has gotten a lot better and can generally close the risk gap a good bit.
In my experience it seems like 40 is around the number where the "should I do this" debate gets pretty serious. I don't think that decision (at least for health reasons) is weighing too heavily on the minds of most 36 year olds these days.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:49 am to Quatrepot
quote:
It’s not her fault, she grew up in a damaged culture, and did what she was told. The whole thing is really sad.
quote:
What was she told?
She was told the most important thing in her life should be her career. Career first and family later. She does not need a man for any security. Kids are a hindrance and she should travel and get a dog instead.
But here she is…turning 40 and realizing life is pretty lonely without a family of her own.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:51 am to Earnest_P
quote:
Those women need a 55-60 year old who wouldn’t mind another kid. Rarer than hen’s teeth, I would guess.
I have a friend in his early 50s who remarried a woman in her late 30s. They have two kids now. He has two college aged kids.
He quite literally struck a deal with her that he would pay for things but he was not doing baby stuff. He's a good dad and attentive for most things, but night nurse/nanny/I'm playing golf I'm not going to the birthday parties was the arrangement.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:53 am to Old Money
FWIW I have noticed an uptick in upwardly mobile families that when I was young had two kids, now having 3-4.
It's not enough to keep up, but I see that trend among well to do urban Christian/conservatives more and more.
It's not enough to keep up, but I see that trend among well to do urban Christian/conservatives more and more.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:57 am to Earnest_P
quote:
Those women need a 55-60 year old who wouldn’t mind another kid. Rarer than hen’s teeth, I would guess.
I'm 57, and there is a part of me that misses my boys being little that it hurts sometimes. I think I'd do it again, but would I? Back in the 90s, I taught some kids at the school where I worked, the ol' baw was easily in his 70s, and his kids were good as gold, mannerly, well-behaved, just wonderful to teach.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 9:59 am to Bjorn Cyborg
quote:
Apparently lots of women either don’t understand biological clocks, or are just liars.
WTF do people not realize adoption gives you a baby without having to give birth? I am all about dunking on feminism, but not if it makes me look like a retard in the process.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 10:20 am to flyAU
quote:
WTF do people not realize adoption gives you a baby without having to give birth?
It’s extremely difficult and expensive to adopt a newborn.
Not to mention you are participating in the genetic lottery.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 10:37 am to Lima Whiskey
quote:
I do think having a “good” career makes a woman less attractive. Work changes you, and a career lawyer is going to be a lot less feminine for it.
Very true. And most successful women want a man who is at least equally successful as themselves. You will never see a female doctor ask out the guy at the automotive department at Wal-Mart. But successful men have no problem going down in status especially if she is young and beautiful.
Very very slim pickings for successful older woman who want kids.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 10:39 am to Bjorn Cyborg
quote:
It’s extremely difficult and expensive to adopt a newborn.
Not to mention you are participating in the genetic lottery.
I am not saying its a better option. But the point of that thread is to laugh at women who it is assumed think they will still be able to have children naturally. Could mean they are open to adoption or could also mean they are open to a guy that already has children.
Just an odd thing to spend any amount of energy on calling it out.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 10:40 am to flyAU
quote:We discussed this. In the US, there are ~40 couples for every available newborn/infant.
WTF do people not realize adoption gives you a baby without having to give birth?
It is also expensive and random. Same thing for overseas.
It isn’t easy.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 10:44 am to flyAU
quote:
WTF do people not realize adoption gives you a baby without having to give birth?
I think people are familiar with the meaning of “adoption”.
One thing I haven’t seen discussed ITT is whether a would-be adopters age is considered when the adoption agency is evaluating their fitness to adopt a baby.
I’ve seen varying answers.
This post was edited on 1/10/24 at 10:46 am
Posted on 1/10/24 at 10:48 am to Earnest_P
Also you have to consider being white trying adopt a white baby is terribly difficult. It's often why you see white couples with a child of a different race.
It's often easier for a white or mixed gay couple to adopt than a white straight couple.
It's often easier for a white or mixed gay couple to adopt than a white straight couple.
This post was edited on 1/10/24 at 10:50 am
Posted on 1/10/24 at 11:22 am to HouseMom
quote:
Not sure if this is some El Gaucho sarcasm, but if not, this is the saddest statement. The fact that a "career" (it's just a job) is somehow exponentially more important than creating your progeny is what's wrong with us as a society.
well shite is significantly more expensive today than it was when people were popping out kids young on average. You cant afford a house with a part time job and child care expenses have skyrocketed along with pretty much the cost of everything else
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