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re: Ever cut ties with a parent?
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:08 pm to Globetrotter747
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:08 pm to Globetrotter747
I had to cut ties with my mom after she died. I swore I would never call her again.
0
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:13 pm to High C
quote:
Dad left mom when I was 7.
Didn’t see him again until my high school graduation. Haven’t seen him since (I’m 53).
Bet if you won the lottery, he would be on your front doorstep the next day...
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:27 pm to Friscodog
Father left my mom halfway through her pregnancy (they'd been married two years at the time). Never came back to live with us but sent child support without fail for 18 years (not nearly what he should have but my mom made do) and I saw him for a week every summer and at Christmas and Random times here and there through the years.
He didn’t make much effort really ever and now that he lives near me he’s said since it’s “convenient” he’d like to get to know me and my kids. They’re old enough to decide for themselves.
Me? My daddy (stepdad) provided for and loves me like his own for the past 46 years. I truly feel no need or obligation to get to know the man who left me before I was even born—he’s like a random person In Target really.
I worry about going to hell for it though. And I guess one day I may regret it but the thought of seeing or even talking to him gives me anxiety.
He didn’t make much effort really ever and now that he lives near me he’s said since it’s “convenient” he’d like to get to know me and my kids. They’re old enough to decide for themselves.
Me? My daddy (stepdad) provided for and loves me like his own for the past 46 years. I truly feel no need or obligation to get to know the man who left me before I was even born—he’s like a random person In Target really.
I worry about going to hell for it though. And I guess one day I may regret it but the thought of seeing or even talking to him gives me anxiety.
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:27 pm to TypoKnig
quote:
Yea immediately after birth
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:38 pm to Globetrotter747
This is a very hard topic for me but, yes, and here goes my chapter.
It all came to light from my sisters suicide. I cut my mother out so many times because she was just a bitch to me. Every time she called me I would cry. She liked to push buttons and was miserable person TBH.
My dad, my best friend, to this day the person I miss talking to most. Alcoholic, functional until my sister happened. And then still functioned. Ended up living with my husband (a saint) through some of it.
Both died of cancer before 60 and both I cut out at some point. You have to do what is best for you. I miss my parents so fricking much, but I do not regret the times they were cut out for me.
And it's actually my dads birthday so now this sucks more to think about this.
It all came to light from my sisters suicide. I cut my mother out so many times because she was just a bitch to me. Every time she called me I would cry. She liked to push buttons and was miserable person TBH.
My dad, my best friend, to this day the person I miss talking to most. Alcoholic, functional until my sister happened. And then still functioned. Ended up living with my husband (a saint) through some of it.
Both died of cancer before 60 and both I cut out at some point. You have to do what is best for you. I miss my parents so fricking much, but I do not regret the times they were cut out for me.
And it's actually my dads birthday so now this sucks more to think about this.
This post was edited on 3/27/20 at 10:57 pm
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:43 pm to tiger91
quote:
I worry about going to hell for it though.
Don't worry. You'll probably go to hell for something else.
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:46 pm to Globetrotter747
Older I get, the more I choose peace. That means less of my Dad. He had his chance. Its all about my boys now.
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:48 pm to Langland
Probably. I’m basically a good person — I think I’m a good wife and mother, try to be charitable, kind, compassionate etc but no one is perfect.
This post was edited on 3/27/20 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:49 pm to Tigersonfire
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/9/21 at 9:28 pm
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:53 pm to Globetrotter747
Nope, I had good parents even though one was an alcoholic. I wouldn’t judge someone for doing it though.
Posted on 3/27/20 at 10:57 pm to TigerNlc
Some real sad stories here. I hate it for every one of you and realize I’ve got it pretty good.
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:00 pm to SquatchDawg
have not spoken to my mother in 4 plus years
she was pulling some shite when my sister was dealing with cancer and went too far.
I'll never tell my sister as she's doing better and don't want to damage their relationship
but I want nothing to do with a "mother" who would say those kinda things about their child
she was pulling some shite when my sister was dealing with cancer and went too far.
I'll never tell my sister as she's doing better and don't want to damage their relationship
but I want nothing to do with a "mother" who would say those kinda things about their child
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:04 pm to tiger91
quote:
I worry about going to hell for it though.
You won't.
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:04 pm to SquatchDawg
quote:
Some real sad stories here. I hate it for every one of you and realize I’ve got it pretty good.
Eh I have seen people have it a lot worse. The fantasy of having the perfect childhood doesn’t seem like a reality as I got older. I’ve seen it from rich and poor people. It really doesn’t discriminate. It either creates a really strong person or a head case.
This post was edited on 3/27/20 at 11:07 pm
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:06 pm to Globetrotter747
Yep.
This post was edited on 9/24/20 at 7:47 pm
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:09 pm to tiger91
quote:
I worry about going to hell for it though.
You shouldn’t. He made the choice, not you. If he now wants to build a relationship with you, it shouldn’t be based on convenience.
quote:
And I guess one day I may regret it but the thought of seeing or even talking to him gives me anxiety.
That sounds like a pretty good indicator.
This post was edited on 3/28/20 at 7:42 am
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:16 pm to tiger91
Post a pic of yourself
Posted on 3/27/20 at 11:51 pm to tiger91
Thank you for sharing this story.
Posted on 3/28/20 at 12:05 am to tigergirl10
My husband doesnt get it.
It upsets my mom that it upsets me so I don’t bring it up.
I only told things to my oldest to validate my reasons to not see him once he (the oldest) decided not to. I don’t want to sway the other two — it needs to be their choice although their choice hurts me but I won’t tell them that. My dtr keeps saying how awful it is when men (or women) cheat and that she’d never talk to one of us if we broke our family up. I did look straight at her and say “well you’re saying what I feel”.
I’ve seriously thought about going to a counselor just to talk it out.
Of my three kids two see him from time to time — they’re 22 and 19 so they can choose. The 27 yo said nope. I just worry about graduations and weddings — he wont be on my giest list but if he’s on theirs I’ll respect their wishes. I’ve already told the one likely to get married first there will be no “family photo” with him and me both in it.
And of course when he dies going to the funeral will be the right thing. Right things are hard to do.
It upsets my mom that it upsets me so I don’t bring it up.
I only told things to my oldest to validate my reasons to not see him once he (the oldest) decided not to. I don’t want to sway the other two — it needs to be their choice although their choice hurts me but I won’t tell them that. My dtr keeps saying how awful it is when men (or women) cheat and that she’d never talk to one of us if we broke our family up. I did look straight at her and say “well you’re saying what I feel”.
I’ve seriously thought about going to a counselor just to talk it out.
Of my three kids two see him from time to time — they’re 22 and 19 so they can choose. The 27 yo said nope. I just worry about graduations and weddings — he wont be on my giest list but if he’s on theirs I’ll respect their wishes. I’ve already told the one likely to get married first there will be no “family photo” with him and me both in it.
And of course when he dies going to the funeral will be the right thing. Right things are hard to do.
This post was edited on 3/28/20 at 12:08 am
Posted on 3/28/20 at 12:13 am to Globetrotter747
(no message)
This post was edited on 10/30/20 at 10:09 am
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