re: Do you bother keeping in touch with family who don’t bother with you?

quote:

---

Not family, but I do have some friends in midwest we stopped visiting for this reason. i've traveled up there with live crawfish and everything it takes to cook them on more than one occasion and they haven't been here since the mid 90's.

---

did you move from the Midwest to where you are now?

Moving away will show you who your real friends/family are. It can be pretty surprising who does and does not make an effort to stay in contact, get together, etc… at least it was for me

There are people I feel like I’m closer to since I moved away, and people I thought I was close with who I haven’t spoken to in years.

Take the hint buddy, you’re the black sheep of the family.

Sorry you are experiencing this. I let it go. i have a parent who has really never been a parent and could care less about us, but is happy living their own life. I still stay in occasional contact, but not like I used to. It works both ways and never once have I been asked “how are you doing”? My kids don’t consider this person a grandparent, really. This person isn’t happy deep down and will eventually die alone. I’ve come to terms with it.

God bless those parents who love their kids and infuse love and care, wisdom and family when the grandkids come along.

Don’t know. Maybe they are happy. But have no family really bc have alienated themselves. They are alone but for their own lives and travel. I can’t imagine never not being available to my children and grandchildren and standing by their side within healthy boundaries, of course.

quote:

---

There’s nothing special about family.

---

I disagree. Especially if you grew up with them.

I don’t see my family in New Orleans very often but when I do, it feels like home. There’s a strong emotional connection. Perhaps it’s mostly nostalgia but I would say having that family is real and important.

Your friends will leave for their own families, so they can’t be relied upon forever.

This sounds much like my dad's family, who don't really live far away but have always been pretty distant with us. We'd typically see them all once a year for Christmas, maybe twice if there was something else to attend, especially my grandparents on that side. They showed little interest in their grandchildren, save one or two of them. The first time my daughter was in the presence of my grandmother was for my grandmother's funeral and my daughter was 3 years old at the time. I can recall as a kid going spend a few weeks in the summers at my aunt & uncle's house, who lived across the street from my grandparents, and in that entire ~4 weeks my grandmother would never invite us over, come see us, etc.

Contrast that with my mom's family, her parents both passed ~20 years ago and were kind, loving people. It's choked me up a few times to think how much they'd have loved my wife, and their great grand children that they never got a chance to meet. Life isn't always fair.

Enjoy the family that cares for you. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. As for my mother and sister ..I did all I could do to create family unity, in the end they preferred lies, money and false pretense. When I decided to give them space, 7 years went by my sister did not tell me my mother died, I found out a year after her death. So there's only so much you can do.

I have a brother that lives 6 miles from me and I have never been to his house. It's not that we don't like each other, we text pretty often, but the world is just busy now.

I don't keep up with my Dad's side of the family. I do have a great relationship with my dad. I decided around 7th grade that when I was an adult I wasn't going to be coming around anymore. Now, my uncle had a procedure done and I donated blood for him.

I have a sibling that is awful and answering phone calls and/or calling me. It's just how his brain is. I used to get really frustrated by it, but it doesn't bother me anymore.

The last message from my half sister was 3 years ago to my wife. She said I was keeping family pictures from her...I had literally let her go through all that stuff 4 times. I'll save you all the drama about that situation.

Long story short. frick em. Block em. If they are a nuisance and not my wife or kids then they have no right to drive me nuts. Be yourself...by yourself...stay away from me. A lesson learned in life.