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Started By
Message
re: Divoced baws of the OT. How did it go down?
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:39 am to Cosmo
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:39 am to Cosmo
We just didn’t get along overall. She was extremely sarcastic about everything and had minimal compassion. She wanted to be alpha like her mom, but didn’t realize I don’t do beta well. Split after 5 years and two kids. That was the worst par,t losing kids full time but worked out great for me overall. Kids, no divorce, no matter how amicably the breakup, is easy on them. They suffer the most, but that requires another thread.
I honestly would divorce before I would cheat, or at least I feel I would.
I honestly would divorce before I would cheat, or at least I feel I would.
1
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:42 am to Kvothe
quote:as an outsider, I think a lot of people in this area think this is their birthright or something. Even people who don’t family money or a JD, MD, etc.
quote:
She wants a new SUV, kids in private school, a 3000 SF house and vacations in 30A.
The height of luxury for the ot
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:43 am to TH03
quote:
I think the idea that people get divorced because life isn't 100% amazing and joyful 24/7 and marriage takes work is a little overblown. People just get miserable with each other and end up hating each other so they get divorced.
I also think this board is really bad at thinking this applies to most or all women. We also rarely talk about dudes being the source of the issue.
Listen, most women are nuts. I'm not saying they won't make you miserable. But the idea that all these nice wholesome women end up banging jody reveals more about the foresight and types of people the poster hangs out with.
In my circle of friends, only a handful of divorces have occurred, and all are on the periphery. I expect there will be more, but of the ones that we know involved cheating, all of them were very, very foreseeable and most involved the guy. Of the ones where the woman was the cheater, everyone knew long before the marriage.
I'm sure there will be a shocker cheating scandal or two in the future, but most divorces I expect will probably be from fatigue, from husbands (my buddies) not doing jack shite for the kids and the wives growing to resent them, etc.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:44 am to Cosmo
I was stressed working long hours and we were on polar opposite sleep schedules. She needed to talk out her day and problems to fall asleep. This would cause her to keep me up late and wake me up often in the middle of the night to talk. I was going into work on 3-4 hrs of sleep max. This led me to try and work a compromise on when we would talk. I thought things were getting better, but she just started talking to an ex behind my back instead. Trust broke down and we never got it back. It was like she was baiting me and waiting for me to act out and do something bad so she’d have an excuse to leave me when I was doing everything I knew how to do to try and make it work, and trying to convince her to do counseling with me, which she refused to do. Marriage takes two to get started, but just one to end. If both people aren’t interested in doing the hard work to make it last, it will fail.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:44 am to statman34
quote:
Marriage is not a throwaway concept. If you marry someone you have to work on it every day. If you aren't willing to fight for your marriage you should not be getting married.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:45 am to TH03
quote:
f your life is made miserable by your marriage, you shouldn't stay in it because of some archaic idea that you can't get divorced.
I think too many people are under the misapprehension that their internal feelings must be determined by external circumstances. People also give far too much weight to how they feel about things and often do damage to everyone around them by spending time thinking about their feelings and concocting internal narratives to explain them, often at the expense of people who are not to blame.
Miserable people have miserable marriages. Those people won't be made happy by divorce.
I'm not talking about instances of spousal abuse, of course.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:46 am to Pettifogger
quote:
We also rarely talk about dudes being the source of the issue.
Yep. It's a strange thing with the baw culture that always thinks the woman is the problem.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:47 am to greenbean
quote:
A woman wants it all
quote:
vacations in 30A
Grounds for divorce TBH
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:47 am to notiger1997
quote:
Yep. It's a strange thing with the baw culture that always thinks the woman is the problem.
eh
this is a male dominated board, so we are almost always getting the bitter, divorced guys perspective
and we have A LOT of them here
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:49 am to Cosmo
Few of our friends have gotten divorced. Maybe 2-3 counting wife's family and one of her friends.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:49 am to notiger1997
I mean, I assume most know that men cause our share of the issues and it's just more fun to talk about women being shitty.
But I do think there are contingents on here who think every male misdeed is caused by some neglectful or crazy woman, or that every woman on the planet is at heart an instagram whore.
"Women can't be trusted, 3 years of marriage and a kid later and my angel is banging other guys out of boredom!"
"Well, she had a back tat, posted selfies of herself throughout your time together and the height of her interests involved going to Jason Aldean concerts with her uneducated skank friends, what did you expect?"
But I do think there are contingents on here who think every male misdeed is caused by some neglectful or crazy woman, or that every woman on the planet is at heart an instagram whore.
"Women can't be trusted, 3 years of marriage and a kid later and my angel is banging other guys out of boredom!"
"Well, she had a back tat, posted selfies of herself throughout your time together and the height of her interests involved going to Jason Aldean concerts with her uneducated skank friends, what did you expect?"
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:49 am to kywildcatfanone
What’s she up to these days?
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:50 am to RockyMtnTigerWDE
Here's what I learned from being married: Women are whores.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:51 am to Pettifogger
quote:
"Women can't be trusted, 3 years of marriage and a kid later and my angel is banging other guys out of boredom!"
"Well, she had a back tat, posted selfies of herself throughout your time together and the height of her interests involved going to Jason Aldean concerts with her uneducated skank friends, what did you expect?"
"never saw it coming"
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:52 am to Pettifogger
People usually rationalize their own behavior and see themselves as the protagonist or victim.
Since dudes are 95% of this board, the overwhelming majority of takes will be guys whining about being victims.
If the board demographics were reversed, it would be all women complaining about what deadbeats their ex-husbands were.
Since dudes are 95% of this board, the overwhelming majority of takes will be guys whining about being victims.
If the board demographics were reversed, it would be all women complaining about what deadbeats their ex-husbands were.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:52 am to Salmon
quote:
this is a male dominated board, so we are almost always getting the bitter, divorced guys perspective
Yep, very few if any will admit to not having their head straight and being a poison catalyst to some extent. Easier to blame the whore.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:56 am to fightin tigers
quote:
Easier to blame the whore.
and if you did marry a whore, maybe a little self reflection towards the choices you made that led you to marry a whore
Posted on 2/17/20 at 9:57 am to Cosmo
quote:
Just seems like a modern thing, particularly with women, that if you arent happy 24/7 then something is wrong and drastic changes must be made.
Not divorced, but in my experience with divorced friends, these moments didn't happen in a vacuum. One party wasn't happy for a long time, and the other party ignored their efforts to improve things.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 10:00 am to fightin tigers
Yes I went to the camp for 9 straight weekends, missed every one of my kids events, tailgated from dawn to dusk at every lsu game this season and had guys night every Thursday and 4 hours of softball on Tuesdays then beers with the boys afterward. Of course we had annual frat reunion weekend in Vegas, guys trips to taledega, the masters and 2 week fishing trip in August.
But that whore just wanted the dream life and ran off with a Facebook Jody.
But that whore just wanted the dream life and ran off with a Facebook Jody.
Posted on 2/17/20 at 10:00 am to Salmon
quote:
and if you did marry a whore, maybe a little self reflection towards the choices you made that led you to marry a whore
My point being that she probably isn't a whore at all.
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