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Death/Funeral timeline

Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:46 am
Posted by doublecutter
Member since Oct 2003
7261 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:46 am
What has changed in the funeral industry in recent years that the amount of time between the death and the funeral has increased?

A few months back a friend passed away and the funeral was held 12 days after he died.

A few days ago another friend died and the funeral is not scheduled 11 days after she passed. I know the family and there is no relatives having to travel from out of town.

Both died from ongoing illnesses in the hospital, so I don’t think an autopsy had to be done.

When my father passed away in 1986, he died on a Sunday and the funeral was on Wednesday.

My 94 year old mother says she remembers years ago people dying and the funeral being held two to three days later.

What’s changed?

Posted by LSUballs
Member since Feb 2008
40558 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:47 am to
Are your friends black? If so, they have to wait for their Autie to get down from Chicargo and cousins over from Hurston
This post was edited on 10/7/26 at 9:49 am
Posted by Billy Blanks
Member since Dec 2021
5258 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:48 am to
quote:

What’s changed?



Boomers, at scale, being unwilling to have any desire to use technology to book anything or make wise decisions. Some do. Most don't.
Posted by udtiger
Over your left shoulder
Member since Nov 2006
118250 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:48 am to
quote:

What’s changed?


Larger # of people dying (compare obit pages from the 80s to current).

Also, contraction in industry.
Posted by Snipe
Member since Nov 2015
17481 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:50 am to
Could be that people are not prepared, and leave their families to sort out and pay for all the details. And the more people involved in decision making the longer it takes to make the decision.

Posted by Deek
Member since Sep 2013
1366 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:51 am to
Whites- three days
blacks- 10+ days, or until they turn White.
At least thats what i was told growing up
Posted by guzziguy
Lake Forest
Member since Jun 2022
1154 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:53 am to
Friends mom was on ice for a few months due to a backup of services at Arlington National Cemetery.
She was buried next to her husband, a former captain of a nuclear sub that died in 1990 from brain cancer.
Posted by SaltyMcKracker
Member since Sep 2011
2994 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:56 am to
I don't know but it sucks. Pops unexpectedly died on a Friday and Mom wanted to wait until the next Saturday (pops was well respected, we knew there would be lots of visitors) so no one had to miss work. Which I understand the why, but that was the hardest week of work I've ever had. Told my wife to put me in the ground before I get cold and start grieving.
Posted by andouille
A table near a waiter.
Member since Dec 2004
11900 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:59 am to
Cremations are much more common, when there are just ashes, there is no hurry. When there is an embalmed body, that's different, get grandma in the ground. Cremations are just much cheaper, people don't see a big reason to spend $15-$20K on a final good-bye.

Did you know that the best salesman for a crematorium is called the "Top Urner"?
Posted by jbgleason
Bailed out of BTR to God's Country
Member since Mar 2012
20613 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 9:59 am to
quote:

Are your friends black?


Legit question. Funerals are closely tied to cultural and religious rules in various cultures. Blacks like to “funeralize” (a term I have heard used) where they go all out and that takes time to set up. Event spaces, flowers, cars and limos, food, etc. So they usually wait a week or more to have the event. Muslims / Arabs / Middle Easteners / Jews like to put their people in the ground (no cremations!) within 24 hours. Islam even directs a 3 day mourning period for direct family and a specified period of four months and 10 days for a widow. It’s all dependent and in the U.S. largely driven by the funeral home business which is a multi billion dollar affair. Bunch of blood suckers if you ask me. Increasingly you see these businesses pushing to have the funeral events at their facilities and that leads to scheduling issues and delays which is why you might see a lag between death and event.

In the old days, you had a short grave side internment and then a wake at the family home. Possibly something at the family’s church if they had a local one. Recently the funerals I have been to take place at the funeral home facility. I hate those places. They all look the same and remind me of a cheap motel with the paint schemes and cheap furniture.

I told my family to throw me in the ground and open a bar tab at my local pub with the money they would have spent on a funeral.
Posted by castorinho
13623 posts
Member since Nov 2010
88542 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:03 am to
quote:

Did you know that the best salesman for a crematorium is called the "Top Urner"?
stop
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
157714 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:05 am to
quote:

A few days ago another friend died and the funeral is not scheduled 11 days after she passed.

Karen?

I had a coworker die last week and the funeral is this weekend. Seemed like an oddly long time.
Posted by Bayouboogaloocrew
Dixie
Member since Jul 2013
5992 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:07 am to
quote:

, a former captain of a nuclear sub that died in 1990 from brain cancer.



Checks out
Posted by EdgarAllenHoe
Member since Aug 2026
44 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:07 am to
quote:

A few months back a friend passed away and the funeral was held 12 days after he died.


Was he black? Cause this some black people shite. We have to sell plates for the down payment at the funeral home. White people will bury your arse the same day.
Posted by Cotten
Tennessee
Member since Jan 2018
1903 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:07 am to
Just my anecdotal experience, others may vary:

When our Son died, Shelby County had an issue with us logistically moving his body from the hospital to the cremation provider. The issue was that while we had a death certificate, that was the only thing we had. No birth certificate from the state yet and no social yet. It took weeks to get both, which delayed the funeral. Administrative state bullshite that infuriates me to no end.
Posted by Reubaltaich
A nation under duress
Member since Jun 2006
5694 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:08 am to
quote:

What has changed in the funeral industry in recent years that the amount of time between the death and the funeral has increased?


Unless the deceased had burial/life insurance, the funeral homes are going to get payment up front.

Funeral homes don't want to spend the next 5 years trying to get their money for the funeral.
Posted by Spankum
The Sip
Member since Jan 2007
63767 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:14 am to
quote:

What has changed in the funeral industry in recent years that the amount of time between the death and the funeral has increased?


a while back, I was wondering this as well. I can think of a few reasons for it, but none of them are really valid. I suppose it really depends on priorities and preferences of the next of kin.
Posted by N2cars
Member since Feb 2008
40512 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:17 am to
You know none of it really matters, right?




Travel, relatives, availability of clergy, facilities; there's lots of moving parts.


The funeral and/or celebration of life is a for family and friends to pay respects and have closure.

It isn't really subject to time constraints, except in certain religious circumstances.
Posted by Bunk Moreland
Member since Dec 2010
71043 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:21 am to
My dad died on a Saturday and having it 6 days later was really pushing it IMO. We didn't know until Monday morning what the funeral home's availability was, so that is basically giving everyone from out of town not much notice to make plans to get there. We picked Friday because the funeral home was jammed the next day. A lot of people couldn't make it there.

One my best friends chose to do a ceremony for his dad like a month later when everyone could attend.
Posted by Pepe Lepew
Looney tuned .....
Member since Oct 2008
39228 posts
Posted on 10/7/26 at 10:26 am to
quote:

Boomers


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