re: Are Many Couples Actually Happy?

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Marriage is a commitment to your spouse and God

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yea, if i was simple in the mind, everything would be fine. i agree

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Real talk, that's no way to live. You can still co-parent and raise your kids separately. In today's day and age there's no good reason to resign yourself to being that unhappy.

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Real talk, he or his wife will come to that realization within the next decade. Worry not!

I think people do not know how to actually communicate with eachother. I mean actual communication. Being vulnerable and expressing things honestly.

That plus a disposable society. Easier to find someone new than actually work on a realtionship with someone.

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now you're talking about the transfer portal, aren't you baw?

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It applies!

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We just have one left at home and she's a teenager that stays in her room most of the time these days and doesn't hang out with us much anyway. Maybe it won't be that different

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Yep, nearing empty nester status, two independent male teenagers. One is into urban exploring, is off right now 100 miles away with some buddies. Other is into sports and girls. Both have good grades and I don't have to worry about them getting pregnant thank God.

Wife and I are counting down the days to go on the road, live other places,

My sister (the mostly stay-at-home mom) is an empty nester. She now lives for her grandchildren. The unfortunate part is her boys married "strong women" who have locked down the kids during Covid so she's barely seen them in two years. She has no hobbies except keeping her house clean. I can't image not having more to look forward to.

As for me, I'm a lucky mother trucker to have found my wife after my first marriage.

Are the other older couples I know happy? Most seem content. Some I know are not but they are not gonna change any thing now. The devil you know...

Besides, if you want happiness for yourself on this planet during the short time you are here - it takes guts. Most people are content to just have a drink and watch their favorite show or team and let it ride.

I'd say we are very happily married.. but we went through some serious serious wars and storms... from her Mom hating my guts.. to me doing stupid things to not being on the same page with religion and politics... but for all the things we are different about... we share many if not all common values and goals for us and our kids... we certainly are not on the same page with COVID but we make do and do our best to respect one another... (knock on wood)... our rule is that we never ever watch TV in separate rooms.. so when the kids are down for the night we spend alot of time together and we learned compromise of the remote control... and I feel like we get along well and we can weather storms because he have always faced them head on... and kinda said we are locked in this room together... we need to figure it out... Marriage is tough even in very loving ones like ours... and my opinion after 16 years of marriage is that being kind and not always having to win... yet being able to stand up for what you want and feel as is important are probably things true of kindergarteners but IMHO it's the bed rock of a solid marriage..

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our rule is that we never ever watch TV in separate rooms

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frick all that. That's my secret for a happy marriage.

Do you want to watch RuPaul's Drag Race, because I don't want to watch RuPaul's Drag Race.

I think many women, and some men, place way too much emphasis on the hard times and not enough on the best times.

They seem to forget the fun moments and dwell on the tough ones.

Hates it - she’s a former valedictorian and now a doctor

I am neither :)

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I don't get how people don't understand this. If you're not happy in life, you're going to make everyone else around you, including your kids, miserable. You have to prioritize your happiness first. I'm not saying drop the kids off at grandma's and go drinking every weekend, but people need to just let their kids be kids and stop making your adult life revolve around scheduling your kids activities.

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100% My husband and I were married for 34 years before he passed away 7 years ago. When the kids were little, it was really work sometimes. I can't say things were perfect and sometimes they sucked. But even when things were bad, there was a glimmer of the 2 kids that fell in love when we were very young. There were times that the physical attraction we had when we first fell in love that kept us together, times when the commitment we made to each other and to keep out family together keep us going, but we'd make a tiny bit of time at least every few months. We'd come out of that daily fog every so often. By the time the kids were jr high age, we could have fun together at their events, we could hang out with friends having a few drinks after that football game, etc. When we were empty nesters, it was fun.

Find someone you enjoy hanging out with, someone you want to laugh with, and someone you have a chemistry with. I don't understand not continuing to always have some fun with your partner!